Pumpkin's rant of the day: He Asked to Take His Son Because He Wanted A Lift
By pumpkinjam
@pumpkinjam (8540)
United Kingdom
August 16, 2015 6:54am CST
I took Mini over to see his dad today. We visit Mini's Nanny (his dad's mum) most Sundays and see his dad there.
Mini told his dad and Nanny about our holiday, and he showed them the train track he'd bought. Then his dad asked Mini if he'd like to go to a park. Now you'd think that would be a good thing but then he said there was some sort of sports trophy being displayed there. Now Mini has no interest whatsoever in sports. So, basically, Mini's dad only asked about going there out of his own selfishness i.e. he wanted to see this sports trophy thing and that's why he asked Mini to go. This was confirmed by the fact that he'd gone to see it yesterday (on his own, on the bus) but there had been a change of plan and it was there today instead (when there are no buses running). So, if he'd actually wanted to take Mini, he would have asked to take him yesterday. He looked up other things which were going on at the park as there was an event surrounding it. He tried to persuade Mini to go by telling him there would be a fairground. He obviously doesn't know his son very well because he has very little interest in fairgrounds, he doesn't like big events because they tend to be crowded, and, I'm sure, that Mini realises that his dad wasn't really bothered about taking him.
If his dad really wanted to spend time with him, he'd ask more often, and he'd do things because Mini might enjoy them, not just because he can't get there himself and wants me to drive him. I'm sure that if I didn't drive, he wouldn't have asked Mini at all.
Well, that's today's rant. I could go on but I won't. I do wish that Mini's dad cared as much about Mini as he does about sport and beer.
6 people like this
6 responses
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
16 Aug 15
I find it sad when parents don't realize what they are giving up. When they do not want to spend quality time with a child doing something a child likes as well as themselves. The thing any child wants is to spend time with their parent.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
18 Aug 15
My son doesn't want to spend time with his dad but that's because his dad has never given him any reason to. He's never given him reason to think he actually cares about his son. And it is sad, especially when I know so many people, men and women, desperately trying to spend time with their children and being denied.
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
18 Aug 15
@pumpkinjam I understand. My oldest who is 24 now hates his father. He never paid support or had anything to dad with him. They have a relationship over Facebook now. Thats is it.
Some people are not fit to be parents, period.
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
16 Aug 15
Oopsies too personal matter, backing off for awhile...
Good luck then
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 15
Feel free to join in the ranting if you like. Agree, disagree, debate. It's all good :)
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157555)
• United States
29 Aug 15
Mini, like a lot of children is much more perceptive than his absentee dad realizes.
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
16 Aug 15
So sad Mini's Dad doesn't realize he is wasting precious time spent with his Son instead of thinking of himself..Someday growing up Mini will make his own decision and say no
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 15
Yep. It is sad. I've done my best to give his dad every chance to have a relationship with him. Mini doesn't like his dad and has even said he wants my current partner to be his daddy (because they have more of a father/son relationship with my partner actually being a dad to him). It will also be sad when Mini is old enough to make his own decisions and his dad won't understand that it's his own fault his son wants nothing to do with him.
2 people like this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
16 Aug 15
My daughter doesn't see much of her dad because his life took over any importance she had. Christmas and birthday he will send cash or a gift. That's it and has been for a few years. I never stood between them but she stopped wanting to see him when he started drinking while they were together.
Fathers like these have no idea what they are missing out on.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 15
True. It makes me feel so bad when I see fathers struggling to see their kids, willing to do anything and being pushed away, while some of us mothers do everything we can to keep dads in their children's lives but the dads don't want to know.
This year was the first time Mini's dad got him anything for his birthday, and he doesn't get him anything at Christmas. Of course, it's not all about giving him stuff. If he wanted to just spend time with him and made some effort. My other son, I hardly ever see because his Dad spends so much time with him!
I am just glad that Mini has such a good relationship with my partner. D does everything he can and has been more of a dad to Mini in the past year than Mini's dad ever was in 10 years.
@allknowing (130064)
• India
17 Aug 15
Were you surprised at this attitude or did you already know that this person never really cared for his child.
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
18 Aug 15
Not surprised. Well, I was surprised about him asking his child to do something until I realised there are no buses on a Sunday and he only asked because he wanted a lift.
I had been hoping, although I didn't have much faith, that he might start wanting to spend time with his child.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8540)
• United Kingdom
21 Aug 15
@allknowing To be perfectly honest, I think the only way he would spend more time with his son willingly is if he was getting something out of it (because he obviously doesn't see spending time with his son as something of worth).
@allknowing (130064)
• India
18 Aug 15
@pumpkinjam What could change his mind towards wanting to spend more time with his son?
