Why I Hate Football
@arthurchappell (45002)
Preston, England
October 31, 2015 5:36am CST
Sadly Mr Chappell, we must reject you as a professional footballer for our sponsored first division team. You are undoubtedly a great player, possibly one of the best we have ever seen in action, and you would have made a good striker and goal scorer. However, to be frank and blunt about matters, you are not very photogenic. You do not look handsome enough for selling hair products or fashionable clothing such as we market through our games. We are taking on Billy Cradshawe, who can barely kick a ball, but who looks very sexy and perfect for our shampoo commercial programme. We wish you well in whatever employment you seek. Yours sincerely, the Football management HR team.
Arthur Chappell
16 people like this
18 responses
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
31 Oct 15
You could always consider plastic surgery
My personal dislike of football is based on the fact that it is far from a professional sport. To make a career from Golf or Snooker you need to produce results and no matter how good a player is they will not earn if they do not win. In the world of football every town or city requires at least 20 players, so a mediocre player can earn a good income. Even results do not matter so much, so a player can score 2 home goals or sit on the bench all the match and still earn more than most people do in 6 months.
2 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
31 Oct 15
@arthurchappell There may be a Priest somewhere who has a second job as a Rabbi, which would involve working 2 days a week.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
31 Oct 15
@Asylum he could be an iman for the overtime too
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
31 Oct 15
Yes so true. I used to envy priests for only working weekends but footballers really have it easy
@rahulvsmokiee (3110)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
31 Oct 15
Even i hate football. Do you know why? It is a mad game where 20 freaks run behind a ball. I still dont get even though they all are super rich, why dont they buy one?
2 people like this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
31 Oct 15
yes, they could all have one each and no one gets hurt in dangerous tackles
2 people like this
@rahulvsmokiee (3110)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
31 Oct 15
@arthurchappell you are absolutely right my friend. Also should allow them to hit goals on there posts too.
2 people like this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
1 Nov 15
I wouldn't be surprised if sponsorship intentions played a major part in team player selection. I was always the last one picked for school sports teams
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
31 Oct 15
hahahahaha, they need to think outside the box, you could be the before pictures and the handsome one be the after use pictures!
2 people like this
@akshat007 (156)
• New Delhi, India
31 Oct 15
Coming from Manchester...you must really really hate it :D
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
31 Oct 15
Welcome to the club. My reasons...their clothes get really dirty and need to be washed with lot of detergent. They fall on floor sulking like little kids, and kids who are not doing that get ideas. It is not a green sport. I haven't figured out a reason why it is not, but someday I will. And the whistle is too shrill. I sleep when those games are on, right?
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
31 Oct 15
Marketing is everywhere now. It is sad that it has breached into sports as well. Of course what is worse is that people will buy the products just because some
famous, handsome or beautiful person has said "I use it." No, I'm sorry, the fact that the products are most likely very cheaply made, corners cut and all.
I don't see celebrities marketing locally grown produce, the farmers who make that possible, or other homemakers.
2 people like this
@GreatMartin (23676)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
1 Nov 15
Like any other job good looks win!!!
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11121)
• Malaysia
2 Nov 15
Never been a fan of football or football stars (if we can even call them that). Sometimes I think it's more about fame and business than sports.
1 person likes this
@blitzfrick (2890)
• United States
1 Nov 15
Is that a serious rejection, based on your looks? In the US, that'd be grounds for a lawsuit.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
2 Nov 15
A spoof article Carol - I would never qualify as a footballer or athlete anyway
1 person likes this
@blitzfrick (2890)
• United States
3 Nov 15
@arthurchappell Well, you almost had me going.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3315)
• United States
31 Oct 15
I hate football too. I think all those crazy men running after a stupid pigskin is crazy. I do not like to watch them knock each other down and tackle each other over a crazy football. Some men mess up their knees forever. My cousin played football in school, and has permanant damage to his knee. Such a stupid game!
1 person likes this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
31 Oct 15
This is a hoot! I thought at first you were going to tell us what is wrong with the sport. For me, it's the noise and the fact that in American football, many people have lifetime injuries, or are killed playing it.
1 person likes this
