Got to say it: family sometimes just stinks

@sallypup (28619)
Moses Lake, Washington
November 19, 2015 11:24pm CST
Are you a member of the fabled Waltons family or are you in a real life scenario? We have tried with my Mom. We give her all we can and yet it is not enough and never will be. One family member has talked Mom into moving in with her this Spring. The huge burden and joy of Mom will be taken from us. We'll be back to couple hood. And family member will again be back to taking 500.00 from Mom each and every month. And feel right and justified about it.
18 people like this
12 responses
@yukimori (9072)
• United States
20 Nov 15
Some people just aren't happy unless they're busy making others miserable. My mom married a guy like that, and we finally decided that we're just done with him a bit over a year ago. What a relief! Will your mom start calling to complain about the family member taking the money every month? I'd get ready to ignore it if that's what you can expect. You sound like you're more than ready for a break from the BS.
4 people like this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
20 Nov 15
Mom is at the point that she does not remember stuff- it literally is like taking candy from a baby. I will not dishonor her by taking money from her each month- we are not rich but I just won't do it.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Nov 15
The 'new spouses' our parents end up marrying should the relationship between them and the first spouse, should be celebrated, supported EVEN if we as the children find fault or discontent with our parents choice of mates-- it is their happiness that should be our only concern and if the guy your mom married makes her really happy, who are you to stand in her way ?
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
22 Nov 15
@enlightenedpsych2 Good to hear from you. @yukimori You are in a hard situation, too. I wish the best for you.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (32584)
• Canada
22 Nov 15
In my family we have our challenges but deep down we care and that goes a long way. I will not sell my family, I will keep it, faults and all.
4 people like this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
22 Nov 15
@1hopefulman I'm glad there is a deep down in your family.
3 people like this
@1hopefulman (32584)
• Canada
22 Nov 15
@sallypup Yes, we have always been there for each other. My two brothers and I took care of my dad in his later life until he passed away at the ripe age of 100 and a few months. We all shared with all our hearts in caring for him.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
22 Nov 15
@1hopefulman Such a sweet affirmation. My Mom is now 94. Everyone she has stayed with she has ended up not liking- control issues? She wants to be Mom but no longer has the capacity to be that. She is being quite difficult this morning. We are trying to get around her nastiness. I think my hubby and I need prayers, please.
3 people like this
• United States
20 Nov 15
Well we are not the Waltons either and sometimes that fabled family just is a good reminder of what we could be, if respect was not expected but just automatically offered for the simple fact we are related !
4 people like this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
20 Nov 15
How to respect the actions of folks that have done things horribly wrong and yet are related by blood? @enlightenedpsych2 I just do not have an answer to that. One of my sisters does: she says she does not get involved. From what I see, not being involved is also an action.
4 people like this
• United States
20 Nov 15
I just keep trying to show compassion and not be so irritating like I probably was a long time ago with my sis and her family-- I don't think staying out of it though really makes anything better, cept for the person removing themselves from the family drama. Family is really ALL we got that is here, right now and in our face-- we should make the best of it even if it makes us sad @sallypup
3 people like this
@xstitcher (12536)
• Petaluma, California
21 Nov 15
Well, certainly not a member of the Waltons family, but ours is not as bad as some that I've seen. ("Good Night, John Boy!" --sorry, just had to say it).
3 people like this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
21 Nov 15
@xstitcher For years I've teased people saying things like "Good night, Mary Ellen!" so yes, Good night, Grandma!
2 people like this
@TheHorse (72513)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Nov 15
In the real world, family can mean drama. Stress. But the absence of family: loneliness.
2 people like this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
21 Nov 15
The older I get the more I am grateful for my hubby's constant love. I did engage in two team work phone talks with two siblings today. I am also grateful that we were able to talk together in a decent, listening manner.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (72513)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Nov 15
@sallypup I spoke on the phone with my Uncle (mostly about basketball) last night, and with my Aunt this morning. I prefer one on one conversations where low drama is involved. I left a message for my brother a few minutes ago.
2 people like this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
21 Nov 15
@TheHorse We have a difficult situation cause Mom sends letters to folks,dinging the people (us) that she is living with. She tells nasties about the other family members and just stirs the pot. It truly was a miracle that I had a amicable chat with family today.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Nov 15
wow looks like people are leery about responding but I know that even moms or dads can b e pains i n tthe patootie.She must have given so me big problems from what you sou nd like. I know that there are people who are never satis fied no m atter how m u ch you can do fo them.No my familyh was not like the Waltolns my dad was mean, ornery, hard to please and he never changed only got worse as he aged.
2 people like this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
20 Nov 15
We do not live right near town so Mom has had to rely on me to take her to town for hair stuff and the senior center etc. I said to Mom tonight that she could talk with the ladies who do needlework and Mom said outright that she does NOT want to talk to them- she wants to do her embroidery by herself and not with others. A relationship only works two ways. Me and hubby can only do so much. Mom has pups and cats to play with here. At sisters: an untrained dog. Divorce time coming up.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164484)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Nov 15
@sallypup sounds like Mom is pretty demanding and cantakeros and that gets old real quickl My roomie was l ike that and they did try to care for her in their home ajnd she jus drov them nuts hence she was here. Im not here because of that as my son and i always got along great. I did not put huge demands on him as I had been retired bu t found the old mylot.but some old people are here because their children didnot please them no matter how good they were to them sad. my dad was that kind of person.
@marlina (78196)
• Canada
22 Nov 15
I don't think that there are too many of Waltons family around. Remember it is fiction.
2 people like this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
22 Nov 15
We can dream and live the good life through the Waltons.
@celticeagle (119872)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Nov 15
Walton's were a real family and they had a way of loving and taking care of each other. I think open communication and honesty is important in any family. So is this family member just doing it for the money or what? Hope it turns out okay.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Nov 15
I have a real life family situation. Nothing is ever good enough for my father, no matter what you do for him he is never grateful or happy...
1 person likes this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
29 Nov 15
@lovingMyBabies That kind of emotional abuse is hard to shake off and walk away from.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
30 Nov 15
@sallypup I have had to forgive him, not for his sake but for mine.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
30 Nov 15
@LovingMyBabies That is the best way to go but it is hard.
@UmiNoor (3544)
• Malaysia
23 Nov 15
My family is my husband and my children. I dislike my own family. They're too calculative. They're always asking for favors from either me or my husband. When I'm in a lurch, I try to never ask for their help because they will keep reminding me of what help they had once given me. Their help is so insincere.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
23 Nov 15
I'm sorry. I wish I could help.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (70062)
• Roseburg, Oregon
21 Nov 15
Some adult kids will take from their parents and not even care.They will bleed them dry.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
21 Nov 15
The family member won't keep an eye on Mom like I do so one and all will be happier.
@just4him (127250)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
22 Nov 15
That's not right. How can you let this person take your mom's money? I hope you can do something before then to make this person realize it's wrong.
@sallypup (28619)
• Moses Lake, Washington
22 Nov 15
Hi @just4him It is an outrage. Especially when it is a family member doing it. The sister says she needs the money to pay for the higher electric bill that Mom racks up to stay warm and also for stuff like food. So far my hubby and me do not feel we need the money. We do withdraw money from Mom's account for stuff like her medications.
1 person likes this