Turkeys of the world unite
November 26, 2015 12:48am CST
Fellow turkeys, it is time that we stopped lying submissively on the plate while these selfish humans devour us for their own pleasure. We can trace our ancestry back to the dinosaurs, so we have as much right to live on this planet in peace as those recent humans. Today they will hold their annual ceremony known as Thanksgiving, which involves the ritual sacrifice of many of our brethren. Next month our British cousins will be subjected to the same appalling treatment during the festival known as Christmas. We can no longer tolerate this persecution. The time has come for us to stand united and say “No More”. We must all stand together in our noble cause and fight the aggressors. The time has come to defend our liberty and repel the chefs and butchers. The time has come for revolution, WE ARE REVOLTING!
19 people like this
26 Nov 15
I can understand them. There´sa reason to fight. I´d stand by them as I´m not particulary fond of eating turkey. Could I just cut off their thighs and keep them alive? I like better filled roasted thighs. I have a recipe...
26 Nov 15
There is no cow slaughter in some parts of India and I am told those old cows are suffering waiting to die. They will just be cremated. . Would you rather be a treat to someone and make that sacrifice than suffer your old age Think again.
• United States
26 Nov 15
@Asylum I once had a neighbor who kept birds as pets, lots of varieties, even turkeys. Virginia, a female turkey, once came over to me where I was sitting and put her head in my lap hoping that I would pet her. I told her to get lost. If I made friends with poultry, how could I eat one?
• French Polynesia
27 Nov 15
Now now my fine featured friend I see your features are ruffled and you are quite in a rage. There is nothing much you can do to stop this from happening. Farmers raise you guys and fatten you up just for this beautiful occasion. I can see where you're from you don't mind eating other animals so why mind about turkey or it is just not done where you live. I do like a good turkey now and then but please do not worry we have none here on the islands. Normally we don't get a lot of them in anyhow so it would be hard to have a nice feast on your fine featured friends.
• Otis Orchards, Washington
6 Dec 15
Turkeys unite! Run from those hatchet carrying head hunters! Don't let them stretch your neck across the chopping block. If one of those mad turkey killing humans gets ahold of one of your friends, attack and peck the human's eyes out. He won't be able to chop your head off if he can't see. It's a full revolution!
• Adelaide, Australia
1 Dec 15
Well played! I'm sending you over a legion of imposters to act as body-doubles. There are far too many sheep & cattle here slaughtered for Christmas that most of this country will have no need of turkey. So I'm re-exporting Tofurky, originally from the USA - & all of them quite convincing if prepared well.