Too Fat To Look Good?

My photo
By Jabo
@jaboUK (54860)
United Kingdom
March 25, 2016 4:03pm CST
Sitting round the dance floor of the hotel last night, I heard a woman chatting to her companions. She actually said "I'm too fat to look good". I looked round and there she was - a tent for a dress, flip flops and greasy unkempt hair. This wasn't the beach for goodness sake, it was an after dinner show. Being overweight doesn't mean that you can't look good. I've seen really heavy people looking as smart as paint! Lots of us weigh more than we should, but that's no excuse to be slovenly in public. I'm as guilty as anyone of just slopping around at home, but when we go out we should at least make an effort. The woman I'm talking about here had a pleasant face, and I'm sure she could have looked really nice if she'd smartened herself up a bit instead of having this defeatist attitude. I hope you don't think I'm being unkind here, but I was quite shocked that anyone would think that they were too heavy to look good. ------------------------------ Photo of me trying to use up a few calories on the exercise equipment on the beach in Spain.
71 people like this
82 responses
@amadeo (70179)
• United States
25 Mar 16
Same here.I have seen many big women looking good.They should not feel uncomfortable by their weight. Then like you said.Seen some very sloppy one.Meaning that they do not give a damn what they look like. What kind of exercise are those there ?
9 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@amadeo Yes, big women can look really good if they take a bit of trouble. The exercise equipment is the walking one (the one I'm on in the photo), then there's one that swings your legs from side to side, and another that swings your arms round. All gentle stuff really.
4 people like this
@SHOHANA (7167)
• Bangladesh
26 Mar 16
agree with you
2 people like this
@mimiang (3777)
• Philippines
27 Mar 16
@jaboUK we have that kind of exerciser in the university where I graduated
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 16
wait a sec, they've got fitness equipment there'n the beach?? mercy, i need to get out more, lol. 's fer that gal, she no doubt suffers from poor self-esteem. i'm prone to holy shirts/jeans 'round here, but when we used to go out, i'd dress to the nine, lol. not fer myself, but the hubs. sounds like this gal needed a good scrubbin' 'n some proper fittin' clothin'. i know many who're 'heavy' 'n look simply divine when they go out'n public. some'f that's got to do with self-confidence i'm thinkin'.
7 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@crazyhorseladycx I agree, self-confidence is half the battle, and she's not going to get any of that with her attitude. Yup - they've got fitness gear on the beach!
5 people like this
@sueznewz2 (10121)
• Alicante, Spain
28 Mar 16
@jaboUK yepp I agree with you both.... I hope she has a change of attitude and finds some confidence soon...
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 16
@sueznewz2 I hope she does, but I don't suppose I'll ever see her again, so I won't know.
2 people like this
@MALUSE (42482)
• Germany
25 Mar 16
Pity that one can't talk frankly to people one doesn't know. Maybe an honest conversation is just what she'd need.
6 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@MALUSE That is probably what she'd need, but it wouldn't be my place (or inclination) to talk to her. I wonder if it's her friends and family that have made her think so little of herself.
3 people like this
@suzzy3 (8357)
28 Mar 16
Someone should tell her she needs to stop being lazy and using her weight as an excuse.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 16
@suzzy3 True, but it needs to be someone close to her, not a stranger.
1 person likes this
@lilnana1111 (2339)
• United States
26 Mar 16
It's sad that she feels that way.
6 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@lilnana1111 Yes it is sad - she might surprise herself if she made an effort.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 16
Size shouldn't matter at all, I do agree with you. It seems that this woman has let herself believe that no matter what she does, because of her size, she won't look good. She may have given up on herself. Sad really.
5 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@ElusiveButterfly Yes, it really did sound as if she'd given up on herself - sad.
3 people like this
@marlina (76493)
• Canada
25 Mar 16
She would need a friend to boost her self esteem.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@marlina You're right - I wonder if those close to her have made her feel like she does, instead of bolstering her up.
2 people like this
@xFiacre (4738)
• Ireland
25 Mar 16
@jabouk making a bit of an effort usually gives people a bit of self esteem so long as they realise they'll never be Sophia Loren, and they don't need to look like her. Some people just give up too easily and need to give themselves a good talking to.
4 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@xFiacre You've hit the nail on the head - the very act of trying to make herself look good should help her self esteem. As you say, we can't all look like film stars, but we should just make the best of what looks we have.
3 people like this
@DianneN (81930)
• United States
25 Mar 16
I agree! It's a shame to see anyone let themselves go, no matter what the reason. I've seen many heavyset women look clean, well dressed, and put together with a touch of makeup and flattering hairstyle. No excuse in my book.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@DianneN I knew I could count on you to agree Dianne .
1 person likes this
@DianneN (81930)
• United States
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK Why? Lol!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@DianneN I should think you are the smrtest person on this site
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (25852)
• United States
26 Mar 16
I agree, I have seen good looking overweight people.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@Tampa_girl7 Weight shouldn't have anything to do with people's pride in themselves, should it?
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (25852)
• United States
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK it shouldn't.
1 person likes this
@Marty1 (35349)
• Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
26 Mar 16
@Tampa_girl7 I agree weight will not make a woman not look her best unless she allowed it to by not taking care of herself when she goes out! You can be 100 pounds overweight but if you put on a nice outfit and maybe some makeup if you don;t feel good about yourself you could be just gorgeous but then i always believed it doesn't matter how you look on the outside it is what is inside that counts But i still believe in looking somewhat decent when going out. I wouldn't not even think of going out and not washing my hair or not taking a bath that day before I left the house! Though I draw the line at makeup, I refuse to wear it as I feel it is not necessary. I try to be a good person, so I don't have to go over board on my appearance. But I do look decent when I go out! I ordered one dress out of a catalogue but sent it back because it had no shape and my summer nightgowns were of a thicker material! Yikes was this dress thin! But I don't; think it was a petite as I need that or the shoulder s fall on me, and the sleeves are too long and for pants double short petite pants I just got last winter needed to be put in the dryer five times to get them to fit! My mom tries to make me feel better by saying it runs in her family as my grandma and my aunt ar.were the same!
3 people like this
@silvermist (20099)
• India
25 Mar 16
@jaboUK First we must love ourselves and have a good opinion about us.And all the rest will follow..Well,I do not much care for my appearance at home.But when I go out I try not to look shabby.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@silvermist If we are self-confident it can make such a difference. i do the same as you and hope I don't look too shabby
1 person likes this
@silvermist (20099)
• India
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK I can never imagine you looking shabby.
1 person likes this
@paigea (22443)
• Canada
26 Mar 16
Yes there are very nice clothes for extra large people.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@paigea That's true, there are some great clothes in the bigger sizes.
2 people like this
@Platespinner (17025)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
26 Mar 16
Weight really has very little to do with whether or not a person looks good...at least in my opinion.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@Platespinner That's my opinion too. If everybody that was a little overweight thought like this woman there would be a lot of slovenly people around.
@teamfreak16 (41175)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
25 Mar 16
Sounds like she might need a boost of self esteem, from someone or something.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@teamfreak16 You are right there, her negative attitude will just pull her down.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (68463)
• India
26 Mar 16
You are living in the lap of luxury with fitness equipment all laid up for you and that too on a beach. I truly believe in dressing up even at home. I am ready even to step out if the need arises and to welcome unexpected visitors. No. There is no make up though.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@allknowing Yes, it's good to have the fitness equipment on the beach. Good for you to be ready for unexpected visitors at any time.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Mar 16
I am glad to see someone mentioning that they do not wear make-up and it is not necessary to look good. If a person likes to wear make-up and are more comfortable doing so, then that is perfectly fine. I really dislike it when people say that women should wear make-up, though, because that is saying that they are not good enough just as they are, which is wrong, in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@purplealabaster I agree with you - I do put a bit of make-up on when I go out, but never at home.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (42350)
• El Paso, Texas
25 Mar 16
Nice "gym" for sure no one would get hurt if the fell in the sand. You don't look very heavy to me.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@rebelann I carry too much around my middle, but it doesn't worry me. Yes if I fell off that equipment I wouldn't hurt myself that's for sure.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (42350)
• El Paso, Texas
26 Mar 16
Me too @jaboUK perhaps that's the way nature intended it. If we didn't have so many of those goathead stickers I'd put something like that in my yard.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@rebelann It would be great to have in my garden too.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33720)
• Philippines
25 Mar 16
Sometimes thier confidence can make them feel...not good. I have hone bigger but istill look good (our mother assured me that,lol)
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@Lucky15 Perhaps she didn't have such a supportive mother as you had
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33720)
• Philippines
25 Mar 16
@jaboUK i know how mothers can be patronzing
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@Lucky15 That's not what I meant. i meant that your mother gave you a positive view of yourself.
1 person likes this
@mammots (3271)
• Philippines
26 Mar 16
She must have been in some emotional pain that is doing some damage to her ego.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 16
@mammots Yes I felt sorry for her, but at the same time wanted to shake her out of her attitude.
1 person likes this
@mammots (3271)
• Philippines
26 Mar 16
@jaboUK A good shake would have been effective in bringing her back to life
1 person likes this
@Teep11 (7123)
• United States
25 Mar 16
Those aren't good thoughts. We should feel good about ourselves and it doesn't matter how much we weigh. When one is confident. They're just confident big or small. Have a wonderful day.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
25 Mar 16
@Teep11 You are right - confidence doesn't rely on size. She needs some of that positive attitude you so rightly encourage. It's a pity she hasn't got someone like you to motivate her.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 16
It is much better today than it used to be to find clothes that look good on heavier people. My sister was over-weight much of her life, and she found it very difficult to find nice clothes that were attractive on her. The problem was not her, though, it was the people making the clothes and the stores selling them. She could find pretty clothes that fit her well and looked beautiful at the high-end stores tailored for larger women, but she could not afford to buy them. Many of the clothes at the regular stores did not even look good on the hangers let alone once you actually put them on, but they were relatively affordable and you do what you can with what you have. Fortunately, nowadays there is a wider variety of clothes for larger people, even at the regular retail stores. This makes it easier for people to afford to look nice. However, if she was used to the "old way", then she might have just given up on trying to look nice. Yes, this might be a defeatist attitude, but then again there are only so many times you can look in the mirror at clothes that are extremely unflattering on you before you tend to want to avoid the humiliation and just go with whatever is comfortable.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@purplealabaster Thanks for explanation and I can see how difficult it is to look good if overweight people can't find any affordable clothes. But that doesn't excuse the woman I'm talking about for not even washing her hair.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 16
@jaboUK Yeah, that is more difficult to explain. I do know some people that look like they have greasy hair, even after they have freshly washed it, because their hair is so fine it looks rather greasy and stringy. Their hair does not look unkempt, though, which would more indicate that it was lack of effort rather than a natural phenomenon.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@purplealabaster I like you, you are kind - looking for the best in everyone.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (41920)
• Greencastle, Indiana
27 Mar 16
your weight is one thing & your attitude to FIX your weight is another, & I agree with you there are some that just could careless about what or how they look in public it's so sad. but ME I'm not TOO much over weight but when I look in the mirror I just hate myself. but I don't let that stop me from trying to look my best when I go out into public that's just the right thing to do I think so your not looked at the wrong way or talked about.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@sugartoes What you say is exactly right, and you have the right attitude. (Btw - I hate myself in a mirror too!)
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (41920)
• Greencastle, Indiana
27 Mar 16
@jaboUK I use to weigh a 100 lbs back in the day before I went under the knife not once but twice 12 mos a part, from being P G in my tubes that ALMOST killed me & that's when I started gaining the weight I have on me now. cause it was done back in the 80's. but THAT still don't make me feel less of a person i'm just 200 lbs I DON'T WANT TO BE IS ALL & when I see my self in the mirror I just make sure I don't let it get to me & look as good as I Can. BUT this year if I can, I'll find or make away to get rid of it some how by going on walks & trying to eat the right foods & be more active
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (54860)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 16
@sugartoes Good luck with that. I'm going to try to lose a few pounds this summer too.
1 person likes this