I've got to give this cause up.

@AmbiePam (46169)
United States
January 30, 2017 2:05pm CST
So some of you may remember I spoke about my grandmother whose doctor wanted her to have a bone scan to see if her cancer (she had a mastectomy in 2015) was back. I had gone with her to the appointment and she mentioned her bones hurt. She missed her bone scan because my uncle (which I have explained saps all her energy as he makes her wait on him hand and foot; they live next door to each other) had trouble that day with his health, so naturally the 60 year old had to have his almost 80 year old mother care for him. I knew she had an appointment with her surgeon on January 26th to get the results of the bone scan (she wasn't going to reschedule the scan, so I thought they'd handle it). So I called to remind her the day before, and she had forgotten. So she called and got the time of her appointment and went in on the 26th. I figured they'd either reschedule her bone scan, or send her down immediately to get it done. Only she went to the wrong doctor. You may wonder why I wasn't there. I live 2 1/2 hours away and am not in good health myself. I spent a week with her in December, and plan to go back in March. So I talked to her about it, and she said she's done. She said she doesn't want to deal with more doctors, and if the cancer is back, then it's back. I've done all I can do. My Nana is the second most stubborn person I know (my horrible uncle, my late mother's brother, is the first), and if she said she's done, then I know she is. I'll just pray it's not cancer, and that if it is, God will give us a clear path on what to do. Thanks for all your support on this. There has been some development on my uncle, but I'm too tired to write about it now. He even tires me out, and I'm nowhere near him!
22 people like this
23 responses
@Tina30219 (26614)
• Onaway, Michigan
30 Jan
So sorry to hear this for her to have went to the wrong doctor makes me think something more is going on other than the bone issue. Right all you can do is hope it is not cancer.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (46169)
• United States
30 Jan
@Tina30219 Oh yes. It was almost nine years of constant stress. I wasn't sure if he'd have a heart attack or if his memory was gone forever.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (46169)
• United States
1 Feb
@Tina30219 Yes, he recently remarried. He wasn't even thinking of dating until he went to see a fellow pastor friend in the hospital. Also visiting was a lady in the friend's church who used to go to our youth camp. She lived two hours away so it had been years since we'd seen her. They talked to each other at the hospital a couple times and eventually went to a movie. Now they're married, and I'm just glad I don't have to worry about leaving him alone. He was so sad it hurt to see it.
@Tina30219 (26614)
• Onaway, Michigan
1 Feb
@AmbiePam That is good your dad has someone again. My mom lost my stepdad 6 years ago she will not get married again but she has a boyfriend neither one of them want to get married again because they bith would lose to much if they got married.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (11737)
• United States
31 Jan
I'm sorry to hear that. But I agree, you have done what you can -- and ultimately it is her choice. Has nana thought of moving? I think some distance from uncle would be good.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (11737)
• United States
1 Feb
@AmbiePam I'm sorry to hear that. At least she knows he's doing it... I feel for you and her -- it is so hard when someone you love is being mistreated and there is literally nothing you can do.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (59428)
• United States
30 Jan
I'm so sorry for you. That is a lot to deal with from such a distance. Is there anyone closer to help out?
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (46169)
• United States
30 Jan
I would normally put that on my sister even though I know she doesn't want to have anything to do with it. She gets mad at my grandmother for not telling my uncle no. However, this time I give my sister a pass. The second child they are adopting out of foster care has a whole host of health problems, so I can't expect any help from her. My grandmother's sisters tried to talk her into putting my uncle in a home, but she got angry at them. So I don't think she would be receptive to their help.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (59428)
• United States
30 Jan
@AmbiePam I totally understand. Bless your sister for what she is doing!
1 person likes this
@allknowing (55759)
• India
31 Jan
Kindness can kill one and that is what is happening to you. How about showing kindness to yourself for a change?
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (46169)
• United States
1 Feb
1 person likes this
@just4him (92028)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Jan
I hope it isn't cancer and your grandmother will be all right. I don't blame her for wanting to be done with doctors.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (46169)
• United States
1 Feb
I can understand it too.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (21904)
• Moses Lake, Washington
30 Jan
Its too bad there isn't someone closer to help out with the situation. I wish you all better days.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (46169)
• United States
30 Jan
Thank you.
@jstory07 (58204)
• Roseburg, Oregon
30 Jan
I hope she is ok and will continue to be that way.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (46169)
• United States
30 Jan
Me too. I wish I could do more, but I'm at my wit's end.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (32032)
• Portland, Connecticut
4 Feb
When you live as far away as you do there is only so much control you have, we will just say a prayer for your gram and hope for the best.
1 person likes this
@stbrians (11882)
• Kakamega, Kenya
3 Feb
I hope of is not cancer and wish her quick recovery
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (33111)
• Anniston, Alabama
3 Feb
Is she 80 y/o ? If so I can understand not doing all the treatments its hard on young people.
1 person likes this
@Susan2015 (18668)
• United States
3 Feb
Hopefully she is okay. There is only so much that you can do.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Feb
I pray that things are OK with your grandma. It has to be very frustrating living so far away & knowing your uncle isn't any help
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (121859)
• Switzerland
31 Jan
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry she went to the wrong doctor. I know you can do nothing because you do not live close enough.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11617)
• United States
31 Jan
I am sorry she went to the wrong doctor. Its not easy to try solving problems when the other person has decided what to do whether its good for them or not. We all hope that she is healthy and would see the doctor, if she needs to see the doctor.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (75329)
• Philippines
31 Jan
. I know, you are happy to have served your mother by accompanying her. I hope her cancer isn't back. I know how it is to deal with a stubborn mother and uncle when it comes to maintaining themselves healthy.
1 person likes this
@LoriAMoore (9987)
• United States
31 Jan
I hear ya. We love our parents and relatives but sometimes they drain the very life out of us
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (100918)
• Bunbury, Australia
31 Jan
I guess if your grandmother has made up her mind, then there is not much left that you can do. It is a shame her brother is so selfish.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (33085)
• Holiday, Florida
31 Jan
i remember you talking about that mess before. he is a bad person and will likely die alone after his poor mama is gone. i know it just kills us to worry over these things when their is nothing to be done about it.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (23190)
• Canada
30 Jan
I'm sorry that this is still going on, but I will keep her in my prayers and hope for the best outcome. I'm sure that this is difficult for you.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28925)
• United States
30 Jan
She's a big girl. You can't take responsibility for her actions, or lack there of.
1 person likes this