My friend's daughter is on suicide watch. What does that have to do with woodworking?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (206373)
Walnut Creek, California
March 16, 2017 12:46pm CST
I am something of a professional parent, but most of the children I've worked with have been between the ages of one and 12. I have never parented a teen. My friend, who had her own issues with anorexia and depression in college, has four children, two of whom are now teens and have either attempted or threatened suicide.
Is raising teens harder than raising 2 1/2-year-olds? I've been friends with many 2 1/2-olds, and I've never found them to be "terrible." In fact, I've found them to be snuggly, dramatic, and fun. Am I correct in assuming that the teenage years are the hardest for full-time parents?
What does all of this have to do with woodworking? Well, my mind goes to strange places sometimes, and after responding to my friend (by Facebook, alas--whatever happened to phone calls?), I wondered if anyone would think I might have committed suicide if my truck went off a bridge or something. I have suffered a couple of recent losses, and my music friends and I do get a bit carried away with our single malt Scotch "testing" now and then.
But a quick scan of my apartment would reveal stacks of papers, some graded and some ungraded, guitar sound-hole coasters awaiting polyurethane, and a pair of Pioneer HPM-100s being worked on. Nope, this dude is in the middle of a bunch of stuff and has no intention of going anywhere.
Does your mind ever wander to such strange places? Are the teenage years the hardest to parent? Can I help my friend (who lives 350 miles away, in Santa Barbara), other than by listening? Those are some of the questions I hope you''ll consider if you make it through this post.
By the way, the scratches on the bottom of the speaker will be no problem for The Horse!
18 people like this
10 responses
@allen0187 (58444)
• Philippines
17 Mar 17
Does your mind ever wander to such strange places? Yes, it always does.
Are the teenage years the hardest to parent? I would think so. Harder still are adults who act like teenagers.
Can I help my friend (who lives 350 miles away, in Santa Barbara), other than by listening? If your friend asks for advice, go ahead and give it. Otherwise, listening would suffice.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157664)
• United States
17 Mar 17
Having projects to finish does indicate a plan to continue on--unless they become overwhelming. I almost feel parenting young to middle age adults is the hardest, or has been for me. Listening is the best help you can be for a friend, unless of course you know some helpful agencies for her to contact for closer help.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
16 Mar 17
I also think people with those issues, tend to have something in their makeup that suggests they pass the tendancy to the same issues to their kids.
I have a feeling that all ages have their own struggles, but it's prob harder for the later years as one can pretty much force safety and eating habits and whatnots on the younger years.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
16 Mar 17
I'm not a parent.
Had a couple of opportunities to be one but looking back I'm glad I realised I'd never be a responsible parent as I'm too selfish.
My one sister was bad as a teen, I wasn't and neither was my other sister.
I hit my teenage years once I turned 30 and went right off the rails
As for helping your friend in a practical way I'd say no it's too far away so maybe your help could just be as a sounding board and as a listener.
As for helping your friend in a practical way I'd say no it's too far away so maybe your help could just be as a sounding board and as a listener.1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
19 Mar 17
Parenting children through the teen years are challenging. Parenting adult children is even more difficult. It is hard to tell your kids to grow up when they already should be.
I have so many unfinished tasks that they will keep me busy until I am 110. Hopefully my extremities will still be able to function so I can finish them all.
Words offered to a friend far away are always appreciated.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Mar 17
I never saw much trouble with t he twos when my children were two but then we lost our daughter at age 8 but my son was an hi i!q kid and we had to find the right schooling for him even in the teens he was not too bad just that he and his father did not get along an put me in the middle.
1 person likes this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
16 Mar 17
I raised two boys through the teenage years and I didn't think it was that tough. I was very engaged with them in Scouts, sports, family trips, fishing trips, and playing video games. I was always open to listen to them, even if I was tired and what they wanted to talk about was dull or inane to me. I knew it was important to them or they wouldn't want to talk about it.
Now 25 and 21, both boys still turn to me for advice and as a sounding board.
I don't know how I would have done as the father of a daughter. The male population in her age group around here would certainly be living in a little more fear, between me and her brothers.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (49115)
• United States
17 Mar 17
The teen years can certainly be tough. I really feel for your friend.
