Blended families can be complicated when it comes to grandchildren!
By dragon54u
@dragon54u (31636)
United States
August 25, 2017 1:28pm CST
The older generation is not as accepting as mine or my children's generation. I have or am going to have a lot of grandchildren! I actually only have 2 grandchildren related to me by blood and they both are fathered by my youngest son. He and his wife are divorced and she is carrying her boyfriend's child plus the BF has a 4 year old daughter who is sweet and adorable. 
I consider her my grandchild and also the coming baby boy my grandson since my granddaughter will be part of their family. My ex-DIL and her boyfriend are fine with this. In fact, I'm attending the baby shower tomorrow! Yes, I overspent but how could I help it?! 
My son is now remarried and she has a son from a previous relationship and he is a wonderful child. They had a daughter together in June. I consider both to be my grandchildren.
So I have 4 grandchildren and one on the way. However, my ex-husband's mother's generation does not accept family relations like this. Their generation only considers blood relations. I think that is sad. How will my grandchild's step-siblings feel when she gets a gift from great-grandma and they don't? 
What do you think? Is family limited to blood relations or could you accept a child or grandchild that wasn't related to you and call them your own?
I consider her my grandchild and also the coming baby boy my grandson since my granddaughter will be part of their family. My ex-DIL and her boyfriend are fine with this. In fact, I'm attending the baby shower tomorrow! Yes, I overspent but how could I help it?!
My son is now remarried and she has a son from a previous relationship and he is a wonderful child. They had a daughter together in June. I consider both to be my grandchildren.
So I have 4 grandchildren and one on the way. However, my ex-husband's mother's generation does not accept family relations like this. Their generation only considers blood relations. I think that is sad. How will my grandchild's step-siblings feel when she gets a gift from great-grandma and they don't?
What do you think? Is family limited to blood relations or could you accept a child or grandchild that wasn't related to you and call them your own?11 people like this
9 responses
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
25 Aug 17
I'm really glad I made this discussion! I thought I would be criticized but it turns out that a lot of people are like you and me, accepting others' children for the good of the children. The world is full of great people.
3 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
5 Sep 17
My 26-year-old has a step-daughter that I consider my grandchild. I got to know her before the baby came along and now I am blessed with two granddaughters! It works out good for me because I have been putting up with boys forever! Now I have two granddaughters to spoil!
I agree with you, I think it is sad that the family won't welcome the child into the fold. It is not the child's fault but I am sure they won't understand. I hope that the other side of the family changes their mind and hearts.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
5 Sep 17
The older generation--older than me and I'm 63--is just like that but I've never understood it. Like you, I had two boys and now I have daughters in their wives and granddaughters to spoil! The more the merrier, I say. The love of children is, in my opinion, the only true, pure, and lasting love because they love you for who and what you are.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
7 Sep 17
@dragon54u I agree and it is so hard to see how many children are abused and neglected and just thrown away in this world. I am glad that you are there for the little ones even if others are not.
@crossbones27 (48435)
• Mojave, California
31 Aug 17
Well, technically we all brothers and sisters, but yeah many have a hard time with that. You are not real family. Of course, many people find family outside their own blood because we cannot choose family. Always an interesting topic.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
31 Aug 17
Yes, it is. In fact, my DIL (the one expecting the baby) was raised with 3 other women and their children and the kids grew up together and call each other cousins. They all remain close and those 4 single women knitted themselves and their children into a tight family that provided love and support for all those children.
There are all kinds of families. If you'd told me this 40 years ago I would have told you that you were crazy!
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (48435)
• Mojave, California
31 Aug 17
@dragon54u Indeed, but pretty neat to hear those type of stories.
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
25 Aug 17
I certainly don't think of family as just blood, as all my nieces and nephews are kids of my friends, and even three are cousins (two by blood and one because she is their older sister and my uncle was with their mom since she was 6months).
And I would count any kid of say my brothers future girlfriend, as a niece or nephew; once they were together for at least a year.
But I wouldn't count a child who is an ex-anything and their new partners kid as family.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
25 Aug 17
Like I said, it's complicated. I will accept any child who is in my grandchild's life. I do like the way you extend your family "titles" to your friends' children--often our friends are as close to our hearts as family members and we can honor them as such. 
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
25 Aug 17
@dragon54u yes at the time, they were my best friends so it was only right to all of us
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
29 Aug 17
I agree, you can never have too many people to love, especially children!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
29 Aug 17
I would much prefer that families stay intact but they so often don't. So I'll just accept any child as mine if I love one of the parents or their child.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40523)
• United States
25 Aug 17
These days so many families, including mine, have blended families. They all end up being "our" kids.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
25 Aug 17
As it should be. Children should be loved and treasured by all!
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23393)
• United Kingdom
28 Aug 17
OH dear oh dear of course I would accept them. Do they realise how hurtful that would be to a child seeing just one child getting love, gifts and attention and the feeling of being ostracised. That is just selfish and I would probably decline their involvement in our relationship unless she treated all the same! You certainly are a kind soul and a very loving and caring mother/grandmother.
1 person likes this
