Children. what is the right age to have them?

@sprite1950 (13924)
Corsham, England
March 5, 2018 12:44am CST
I didn't always want children as I loved my single life. It wasn't until I reached my late twenties that I started to think about it and I had my first baby at aged 30, my second at 36 (which was considered old back then). Most people want children at some time in their lives, it's just deciding when is the right time.Some of my friends were very young when they decided to have them and some like me were older. Others decided not to have them at all. What age do you think is best to have them and if you already have them what age were you when you had your first child?
11 people like this
13 responses
@LadyDuck (156900)
• Switzerland
5 Mar
I decided not to have children. I have worked during all my life with my husband. We traveled a lot and we were happy to be able to travel together. I do not regret our decision. Now talking from a medical point of view, the fertility decreases after the age of 35 and there is a huge drop after the 40. I think that the right age is when a woman feels ready to have a kid, keeping in mind that children need an active mom until they reach maturity. To have a 65 years old mother when you are 10 year old is not that great.
5 people like this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@LadyDuck I admire the fact that you have not followed the crowd and have decided not to have them . My daughter may decide the same as she and her fiancee love their child free life. I actually only wanted one child but became pregnant at 35 with a coil so my fertility was still going strong then! I was offered a termination but decided to keep her and was rewarded as she was, and still is, the loveliest child.
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (156900)
• Switzerland
5 Mar
@sprite1950 We have several friends who decided to live a child free life and they are happy as we are. I am glad you decided to keep your child, at 35 years you were still young. My mother was 30 when I was born, the mom of my husband was 20 when he was born. They were so much more closed, because she was 35 when he was a teenager, he learnt from his mother to dance, they went out dancing during the summer nights. I envy my husband for this. My mom had a second child 18 months after I was born. She never had "enough time" for me and her second child (a baby boy) has always been her favorite.
4 people like this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@LadyDuck Aww that's a shame. My first born, my son, has always been really difficult so I'm glad I decided to keep my daughter as she has been a joy and I realise that as they had the same upbringing it couldn't have been all my fault. He did some bad things but there is no one else in the family like that. He was always wired a little bit differently even as a young child.
3 people like this
@nitirrbb7 (3258)
• India
5 Mar
I still don't have kids but I do agree with Anna @LadyDuck has to say
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@nitirrbb7 It's good to know your own mind and not be pressured by society into having kids because it's the 'norm'.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (156900)
• Switzerland
5 Mar
@nitirrbb7 Kids need young parents to take care of them. Old parents have no more the strength and the enthusiasm to help them.
1 person likes this
@nitirrbb7 (3258)
• India
5 Mar
@LadyDuck That's true.
1 person likes this
@mydanods (6759)
• Nigeria
5 Mar
I have lots of friends, women, who had their children at very young age. One had hers at 16. They do not regret having children at that age because they no longer bother about children when they get to 40 and start thinking of living their independent lives since the children are now grown ups.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@mydanods Yes that is one of the benefits of having them young although some people start young and keep going into their 30s or 40s. I was happy with just two children.
3 people like this
@mydanods (6759)
• Nigeria
5 Mar
@sprite1950 My wife will have three and then stop.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@mydanods I wish you the best of luck with your children. Do you have any at the moment?
3 people like this
@much2say (39135)
• United States
5 Mar
Hubby and I have been together since age 18. We went to college, had our careers and got to enjoy ourselves (as well as being individuals) for a long time - we didn't get married til age 34. By the time we decided to start a family, we were ready to put our all into family life . . . I had my first at 36 . . . and my second at 41! There are pros and cons to everything, but we are glad to be older parents. Many of the parents we know with same age kids are much younger than us, but we don't have the issues they have (and probably visa versa of course).
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@much2say What a lovely story. You were both ready and had done everything you wanted to do before you had children. 41 used to be old (I was considered geriatric at the age of 36) but these days people are still young and fit in their forties.
3 people like this
@much2say (39135)
• United States
15 Mar
@sprite1950 I will say they considered me to be on the border with the first one - and the second I was definitely considered to be high risk. I have a couple friends who had her first child at 43! Yes, as long as they are healthy and fit even in their 40s, it's possible to have children - and healthy children at that.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
15 Mar
@much2say My daughter did say to me she was about 14 when she realised she had an 'old' mum as all her friends had mums that were about 10 years younger than me! Having said that I have a great relationship with her so it's never been a problem.
@Icydoll (19137)
• India
5 Mar
I think 25 to 30 is the right age..
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@Icydoll Yes I probably would have just had the one at 30 but got pregnant with a coil. I don't regret keeping her though. She's 31 now and a lovely girl.
2 people like this
@jstory07 (66951)
• Roseburg, Oregon
5 Mar
I thin you should be in your twenties when you have your children.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@jstory07 I was in my thirties but I wouldn't have wanted to have them any later although people do these days.
3 people like this
5 Mar
As long as parents are eighteen and above and parents are matured enough.
2 people like this
5 Mar
Cute baby
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@golden0807 My granddaughter's mother was 18 but she got fed up with her when she was 6 months old and left it all to her dad. I took on custody of her when she was 4 years as he couldn't cope with her either.
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@Laika83 It's just a free picture I took off Pixabay but it is a cute baby.
@nanette64 (17610)
• Fairfield, Texas
5 Mar
Between 25 and 35 @sprite1950 . Most women aren't really ready to take on the 'chore' of children before 25 and after 35 you have to think for yourself, "Okay, when I'm 50, my child will be 15; will I still be healthy and around long enough to see then mature."
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@nanette64 I'm 67 and still really healthy.I would hope you were still healthy at 50 as that's no age to start falling to pieces!
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@nanette64 I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that and I hope your life is better now. Although I had relationships that didn't last, no one ever physically hurt me.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (17610)
• Fairfield, Texas
5 Mar
@sprite1950 With him now permanently out of my life, at least I don't have to worry anymore. And you can bet there haven't been any personal relationships since then either. I'm glad you never got hurt.
1 person likes this
@Liberti (235)
• Mead, Washington
6 Mar
There are risks having children later in life than earlier for you and the child. Not as bad as it used to be and many women are having children in mid 40's some even 50's but they also find it harder physically on themselves. Some take the risk of having a Down's baby as well or other complications for the child. Then some find they enter menopause earlier like mid 30's to mid 40's. Researching and know your family medical history would be something helping deciding when or even if you should have a child or children. It also depends on your partner. People who wait too long often regret they put career above family and find they cannot have children. There are adoptions as well and many children need a home. So having a child would depend on what your priorities and values are and why. It is a big decision and one not made lightly. Most find they were glad to have them in their 20's but some felt career was more important first and or maturity. It is different for each couple and each person.
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
7 Mar
@Liberti I can certainly understand women being tired when having children later. I am 67 and bringing up my granddaughter and sometimes she really is exhausting. She is 11 and coming up to the pre teen years when we have tantrums if she can't have what she wants. I had forgotten how tiring that could be!
1 person likes this
@Liberti (235)
• Mead, Washington
7 Mar
@sprite1950 I often have my grandchildren here the eldest is 22 now and about to have her 3rd baby her oldest is 5. I also have 2 other granddaughter's married age 19 and 21. One of them has a little boy age 2. They are a family of 7 children. The youngest is 4 so she is older than her nephew. My grandchildren range from age 4-22 and there are 17 of them. I have 3 great grands and soon to be 4. They are here often and yes the teenagers can be quite sassy but it does not work with me and well they know it. I do smack them if need which brings them right around. Temper tantrums do not work with me. Though I am 68 and have some disabilities it surprises them how strong I am. Temper tantrums mean no privileges and if need I will grab them and tell them since they want to act age 2-3 I am treating them as such and I whop their behind.
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
7 Mar
@Liberti You have a huge family! I only have the one grandchild at the moment but my daughter hopes to have them eventually. Because I have a Special Guardianship for her I have to be very careful as smacking is not permitted. If she told anyone I could get her taken away. I know .. crazy. I do take away her privileges if she misbehaves and that seems to work.
@LeaPea2417 (20346)
• Toccoa, Georgia
24 Mar
I was nearly 27 (five days before my 27th birthday) when I had my first baby. I was 31 when I had my second baby.
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@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
24 Mar
What a nice birthday present. I had my second child 4 days before Christmas Day .. it was the best Christmas ever
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (20346)
• Toccoa, Georgia
25 Mar
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Mar
I think it's 30, for the women it should be younger than 30. I was told that if you get older than the age i mentioned, it will be hard to bore a child.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
6 Mar
@Letranknight2015 It's not so difficult these days as medical knowledge has improved and women have babies quite easily into their forties now.
@Morleyhunt (19750)
• Canada
5 Mar
I was 20 when I had my first child. I went on to have 4 more...the youngest was born just before my 30fh birthday. I have no regrets. For me (I wanted children) this was the right decision. I've seen others who had children, just because others pressured them, or because it happened and have destroyed the child because of their poor parenting skills.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (13924)
• Corsham, England
5 Mar
@Morleyhunt Yes, I know what you mean. My daughter and her fiancee don't know whether they want children yet. I'm glad she didn't fall into the trap of so many of her friends, getting pregnant while single without thinking it through first.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (15394)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
6 Mar
Others weren't left any choice but to accept the fact that they’re going to be parents. :)
1 person likes this