Would you marry a person you have never met?
@sprite1950 (30453)
Corsham, England
March 27, 2018 11:43am CST
My partner was telling about his mother. In 1952 at the age of 22 she left her home town in Austria to travel to Malaya to marry a man she had never met who was 20 years older than her. They had exchanged letters and that was all but the wedding was arranged for the very next day. It wasn't an arranged marriage as such, she was Austrian and he English and they moved to England shortly afterwards to set up home together.
The marriage was a complete mismatch and although they stayed together and had 7 children they were never really happy. He being so much older than she was died some time ago but she is still alive.
When my partner asked her why she had done it she said she just wanted to get married. Her parents were so worried they hid her passport but she found it and left without saying goodbye.
Could you marry someone you only knew through letters?
Image from Pixabay
21 people like this
29 responses
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
27 Mar 18
It could have been a unique love story but it turned out to be full of sadness. So sad.
It is possible if they had formed a relationship over those letters. But it does not guarantee happiness. Lucky for those who did and disaster for those who did not.
But I still wonder how are people able to keep up that long and even have children when they do not even love the person? I find it really mysterious. 
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
Perhaps she grew to love him in her own way but it was a very strange union.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
@mlgen1037 Lots of people think that's strange. She had miscarriages too so there could have been more.
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@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 possible. A strange union indeed but had seven children. Or possible that they love each other but did not show it physically?
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@allknowing (130064)
• India
28 Mar 18
That is a done thing here in India although that did not happen with us. We met and did have courtship for six months before marriage.
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@allknowing (130064)
• India
28 Mar 18
@sprite1950 There is yet another thing called proposed marriage That is what it was in our case. This guy (lol) wanted to know who I was and through a common friend he arranged to meet me. It is history now (lol)
Most of my siblings went through the arranged marriage process and their marriage was successful
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
@allknowing Yes I've known some indian women who have been really happy. I once worked with a lovely girl who said her parents introduced her to her husband but she didn't have to marry him if she decided she didn't like him but they are happily married with two children now. Is that a proposed marriage?
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
@allknowing I'm quite interested in knowing about arranged marriages as lots of them do work out. Would you have been happy if your parents had picked out a husband for you?
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@snowy22315 (169966)
• United States
28 Mar 18
I don't really think so. Some of the arranged marriages as such are good..but i know someone who was in one..that he and his wife divorced years later..they never got along.
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@snowy22315 (169966)
• United States
28 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Well in the case of the person I was talking about..they were married for like 35 years, so I doubt they were even alive. I think it was a hard marriage though..they never really agreed on anything.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
@snowy22315 It must be hard to live like that.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
I supposed it's only natural that some will fail. I wonder what the parents think when that happens.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
I know I couldn't do it. I suppose they must have exchanged photos but my partner said that she wouldn't have worried about looks.
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@akalinus (40440)
• United States
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 I have heard of arranged marriages where the bride did not meet the groom until the wedding. Some of these people grew to love each other and some did not.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
@akalinus I was in hospital with a young indian girl who was having her first baby at the age of 17. She had an arranged marriage and seemed really happy. She said she didn't realise she could get pregnant straight away! She would be in her fifties now and I wonder how many children she has
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
@Courage7 Absolutely although she's happy enough now and her children take care of her really well.
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@Courage7 (19633)
• United States
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Yes she has many children to take care of her, one advantage for having tons of kids. Ill pass thanks.
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@anikoonline (3250)
• Hungary
27 Mar 18
I live with my boyfriend and we are still not married. So I don't think so. But never say never. 
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
Let us know if he pops the question or if you do! 
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
@anikoonline What do you think he will say?
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@anikoonline (3250)
• Hungary
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 I will!
A few days ago I filled a stupid test and the end it forecasted the date of my wedding. As the test said it will happen April 2019. I haven't told my boyfriend yet, that my tablet told the date of our wedding. 
2 people like this
@dodo19 (47066)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 So, I guess it worked out alright. Glad that you didn't have to meet him, if he doesn't sound the best of guys.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
She's is very religious and does not believe in divorce. He was the sort of person who couldn't look after himself so the arrangement suited them. I never knew him but to be honest I'm glad as I didn't like the sound of him.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Yes, but then she would be the most beautiful and wonderful woman on earth and where could I find better? Also, we would have to make sure that the human race survives. Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made for the greater good.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
Wouldn't it depend on what she was like? Maybe better to be single
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Mar 18
Her children used to joke that she probably thought it was her duty to make more Catholics as she was and still is extremely religious.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Mar 18
@MALUSE She's a very strange woman, she prays most of the day apart from when she goes to church every day, sometimes twice a day. All her children have turned out to be honest and hardworking although one of the boys is handicapped and they all think the world of her. "There's nowt so queer as folk" as the saying goes,.
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@MALUSE (69413)
• Germany
30 Mar 18
@sprite1950 Well, if that is the case, I don't pity her.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
14 May 18
@ramapo17 Yes isn't it. It really was a strange relationship but I guess some people would rather be with anyone than be alone. Her children look after her now so she's much happier.
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@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
14 May 18
@sprite1950 That is so sad to go through life with someone you don't like.
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@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
16 May 18
@sprite1950 That is good to hear.
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@kobesbuddy (74571)
• East Tawas, Michigan
28 Mar 18
Nope, I could never marry a man, I didn't first feel love towards.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
@kobesbuddy There may be rare instances where it works out but it would be like sleeping with a total stranger. I just couldn't do it.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
I know, I don't know what my partner's mum was thinking!
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@kobesbuddy (74571)
• East Tawas, Michigan
28 Mar 18
@sprite1950 It's a terrible way to start out a relationship, to not even know each other!
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
@nela13 My partner is not sure about that but he said she was not one to worry about looks. I always thought that physical attraction was important. She had 7 kids so I guess there must have been some attraction there
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@nela13 (55698)
• Portugal
29 Mar 18
@sprite1950 physical attraction is essential I think but maybe you are right, she end up having a big family
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
I think the same. I could never marry a complete stranger.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
My partner's mum did. She exchanged letters with her husband to be, flew over to Malaya and married him the next day. People do the weirdest things!
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Mar 18
@Ithink Some of them seem to work out. I used to work with an indian girl who was very happily married but she did say although her parents chose her husband if she hadn't liked him she wouldn't have been made to marry him.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
With arranged marriages the girls know that they are going to have a husband picked for them so they accept it at an early age. I'm not sure what was going through my partner's mother's head when she ran away to meet a stranger though.
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@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
28 Mar 18
Arranged marriages are still prevalent in India.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
Yes I met some Indian women who live in the UK that had arranged marriages. I find it quite fascinating.
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@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
27 Mar 18
Not just through letters no.
I met mine on holiday and we wrote to each other as he was doing Military Service over here at the time.
Later we met up again twice and took it from there.
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@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
27 Mar 18
@sprite1950
It was really although no one was giving us a cent for it to work out at all.
Against all prognostics it worked out and we have always had to work things out for ourselves with no help from anyone and that is the plain truth.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
@lovinangelsinstead21 It's nice to hear about a relationship that worked out against all the odds.
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@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Mar 18
No, marriage all too often does not work out when you have known someone for years.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
27 Mar 18
That's true. My parents divorced after 24 years of marriage,
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@Hannihar (129470)
• Israel
4 Jun 18
@sprite1950
There have always been arranged marriages. I would not marry someone I never and most of them I did meet I would not marry either.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
5 Jun 18
No I couldn't do it either. I have a partner but I do not live with him and wouldn't want to. We have our own houses,
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
5 Jun 18
@Hannihar It wouldn't work for everyone but it works for us. Most people like to live with their partner.
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@Hannihar (129470)
• Israel
5 Jun 18
@sprite1950
Maybe that is the best way for you to have a home and him to hvae one too.
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@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
28 Mar 18
No. I want to meet him, know his background and I want to know more about him before getting married.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
28 Mar 18
I think that's important too. I could never have done what my partner's mother did and especially at such a young age.
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@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
28 Mar 18
@sprite1950 yes it's very important for me
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