I'm thinking of quitting this band. Do you think I should?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (206066)
Walnut Creek, California
June 10, 2018 2:10am CST
Do you think I should quit this band?
The leader is a "diva." She is a decent singer, but she loves the spotlight, and doesn't fully appreciate the musicians she's surrounded herself with.
She has knocked over my $4000 Collings OM-1 guitar (without saying sorry or asking if the guitar was OK), and never paid me for a gig I played where she forgot that I told her I'd be there.
My buddy Michael is taking a break from the band, and I think I'm ready to do the same.
What would you do in my situation?
I'll attach a link to a song in which I play bass and sing lead. She never thanked me, Vanny, or DJ for the hours it took to make the video in which she sings lead (or the attached video, with me on lead).
"Take Me Back to Tulsa" by Bob Wills and Tom Duncan Performed by The Diablo Rhythm Wranglers Recorded by - Michael Stenberg
20 people like this
24 responses
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
10 Jun 18
Only you can make the decision. Here are a couple of questions: Would you be happier if you quit? Could you financially manage without this work?
3 people like this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
11 Jun 18
If its not fun, don`t do it. She sounds like a user and they is all.
3 people like this
@spiderdust (14741)
• San Jose, California
10 Jun 18
I know you've really enjoyed the times when you and someone else from the band did your own thing. Maybe you should create your own band apart from her? I think you'd enjoy that more.
Otherwise I'm in agreement with everyone else -- if it ain't fun, don't keep doing it.
3 people like this
@spiderdust (14741)
• San Jose, California
10 Jun 18
@TheHorse I actually looked over this list of bands to see if you were playing in our area, but I didn't see The Diablo Rhythm Wranglers.
Schedule and information for Vasona Lake County Parks' free, outdoor, acoustic music concert series,
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
10 Jun 18
Hi Colin. I would choose to leave and create a new band. That way, you will not have to deal with her "diva" attitude.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98873)
• India
11 Jun 18
What happens to known devil being better than unknown devil? LOL
More seriously...this would not work. There has to be equal share in the group. Pony's voice is good. Songs need to be shared...I heard his friend Mike singing too. He is also good. So the songs to be sung should be alternated...kind of the Diva starts, followed by Pony, followed by Mike, followed by group number, and so on. Every singer needs to be pushed in front...that way tastes of all listeners are catered to.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
11 Jun 18
@TheHorse Finally. You are able to breathe a little. 
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157622)
• United States
10 Jun 18
Probably should leave, as the agitation will drive you crazy.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45523)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
10 Jun 18
Well, the votes are in and it's unanimous: Quit.
2 people like this
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
11 Jun 18
Sounds as if you should take a break. Why bother with the extra stress and not be appreciated.
2 people like this
@crossbones27 (48446)
• Mojave, California
10 Jun 18
Yes since, especially musicians seem to like to take their own life. Maybe not that serious but is how it all starts. Get out if it and move on whether you take a pay hit or hard to find people who want to play with you. Like I say may be a lot poorer in life in general but indeed more happy because get to do what suits me best. That's just life where this sounds more like a hobby but only because think you know how hard it is to make it as a musician.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98873)
• India
11 Jun 18
First ..how is your Collings OM-1 guitar? Secondly, I won't deny that I put in extra effort to get your Diva to like Sugarmoon, and was a bit hurt that she did not mention whether she liked it or not. She may have liked it, but YouTube does not show. But to be fair to her, she does not know me. You call me vanny. She sees my full name. DJ is not even there with her comments. But yeah..I did try to make it interesting. I was hoping she would ask you to upload more of her numbers and get us to add those pictures ... but it was not to be.
Tell you what....... you and Mike start a band of your own...come up with a few numbers, and we will upload them. Then you can give the address and contact number of some place for contacting you two for gigs in the white area below.
Whether you did right or wrong ...I can't say. You feel good about it? Then it is right. You have a few regrets? Then it is not. But what is done is done. Move on to the next thing - who knows you might become so famous that you won't even recognize DJ and me. :)
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (206066)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Jun 18
The Collings is OK. I buffed out the scratches, which were limited to the headstock. I actually took my Glenlivet over to Mike's house last night, and Mike Rod and I celebrated with some imbibing and some music. I was actually on PIANO last night, and we did some jazz standards with Mike singing. This could be an enjoyable new "thing," even if we don't take it "out." I don't know if Debbie even checks Sugar Moon. It's done the best of any of her songs on the internet, but she's never thanked me (and by extension, you and DJ) for posting it.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
10 Jun 18
I'd quit without having second thoughts.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (206066)
• Walnut Creek, California
11 Jun 18
Last night I got together with Mike (who also quit this band) and Rod (whom we play with in the Country band) and we had a great time playing some jazz standards. Rod was on bass, Mike sang and played guitar, and I played PIANO! I brought my celebratory Scotch over (a gift to myself) and we imbibed and BBQed as well.
1 person likes this
@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
11 Jun 18
I think you should quit and create your own band..
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (206066)
• Walnut Creek, California
12 Jun 18
@Jessabuma It was really fun. I imagine well do it again. Music can be a form of "social interaction." At this point, we don't care if we "take it on the road."
1 person likes this
@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
12 Jun 18
@TheHorse Ohh I see. Enjoy your time together
1 person likes this
@Craigba (40)
• Kempton Park, South Africa
11 Jun 18
I see that you already left, but did you at least try and approach the topic with her. Leaving is all well and good - people need to go their separate ways, but recently one of the teams that I was part of split up - and I thought that it was only right to have approached the topic before splitting. If you spoke to her and she was a diva about it, then fine. Otherwise everyone deserves a chance to correct their behaviour
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