Were you a stay at home mom or dad?
By Joanie
@Freelanzer (10745)
Canada
August 22, 2018 10:29am CST
When my kids were growing up we both worked outside the home either full time or part time. Looking back I wonder if I missed at lot with my children as they grow up so fast.
With two parents working it means more financial security but less time with your children. I had friends who never worked a day outside the home even after their kids were old enough. I couldn't do that though. They chose to get by on one income and it worked for them. Others may not have a choice.
Were you able to stay home with your kids or did you work outside the home? If you had a choice would you prefer that one parent stay at home?
31 people like this
31 responses
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
It was good that you were able to take him to work with you.
2 people like this
@Courage7 (19633)
• United States
22 Aug 18
@Freelanzer Yes it was Free. I had a bicycle and put the child seat on the back. Those were the good old days.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
I worked and my wife stayed at home. When the kids were both in school, she found a part time job and the marriage ended shortly after. The marriage ended about 15 yrs after we got married. She never loved me and that is her story till today. 
5 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
She actually said she never love you even though she stayed for 15 years?
3 people like this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
@Freelanzer That's life! It get's better. I married a second time and after 14 years, she also left me and said that she never loved me. Can I pick them are what?
3 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
@1hopefulman You sure can pick them but I hope that the 29 years of marriage you had were good ones for the most part. As they say better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
3 people like this
@marguicha (215428)
• Chile
22 Aug 18
My husband was the main provider, but I worked outside and I also helped him in his job.
5 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
My husband was the main provider in the early days but there were times when I was the main provider then we both were in the later child rearing years.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48442)
• Canada
23 Aug 18
@marlina I know what you mean. Parenting was so different during their generation. My parents had 4 kids within 4 years, and never had more then 1 baby in cloth diapers. And today...….they stay in paper diapers until 2 and 3 years of age. But its because the world moves to fast, and the parents aren't at home as much as they used to be.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
My mother stayed home for awhile but started working when I was about 8 years.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
22 Aug 18
My dad worked and I was the stay at home sister, doing everything a mother would do.
4 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
So you had the role of mother. That must have taught you responsibility and resilience.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Aug 18
@andriaperry So sorry to hear that, but glad she had you to carry on.
2 people like this
@sallypup (57884)
• Centralia, Washington
23 Aug 18
@andriaperry I'm sorry that you lost her so very young.
3 people like this
@arunima25 (85314)
• Bangalore, India
22 Aug 18
I took a break from my demanding work after my daughters were born. I got into part time writing jobs from home. When they started off to school, I changed my career and became a special Educator and worked when they were in school. Now they are teens.
4 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
When they were younger and in school I had flexible work schedules. When the youngest was 9 I started full time until they were all grown up.
2 people like this
@arunima25 (85314)
• Bangalore, India
23 Aug 18
@Freelanzer It is always our call and we do the best that we can do. We can not compare it to others.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
22 Aug 18
Thank God most of my kids lives so far I have been able to stay home. However, for a couple of years I had no choice but to work. I have always babysat from home to bring in extra income and still be able to stay home. =) I Home School my children and I am so grateful I am able to do that.
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Aug 18
@Freelanzer They do grow up too fast! I know when they are grown I will be looking for something to do with my time and that is when I will work. =)
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
Sometimes I wish I had home schooled but I enjoyed working outside as well. It is a blessing to be able to spend as much time with your kids as they grow up so fast.
2 people like this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
23 Aug 18
I was a stay at home dad for about six months after my first son was born because I was a December graduate from college but my accounting job didn't start until September.
My wife was a stay at home mom for three years after we moved to NC, but went back to work when Son2 was old enough to start in a pre-K3 program at church.
2 people like this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
23 Aug 18
@Freelanzer After I became a teacher, when my boys were 6 and 10, I was thrilled to be able to enjoy summers with them. We went camping and fishing and just had some great father/son times.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Aug 18
Nice that you both had a turn at being stay at home parents.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
24 Aug 18
@DWDavis I really looked forward to those holidays with my boys when I worked full even though I didn't have the teacher kind of holidays. But by the time I got to 6 weeks holidays a year my kids were all doing their own things.
1 person likes this
@marlina (154166)
• Canada
23 Aug 18
@Freelanzer , That was a good way to handle it.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
For the early years of childrearing I was lucky to have flexible schedules. Sometimes I worked full time but got the summers off. Other times I worked part time and my husband worked shifts or split shifts so he would be home at lunch or so.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
I am sure it was worth it. I worked through out my pregnancies and raising my children. The early days were mostly part time or term so it allowed me more time with them.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 18
When my kids were young, my wife at the time was a stay at home mom. She loved having that constant interaction with our kids, but the only down side to it was that she didn't get enough "adult time" for herself. We were able to figure out a compromise where she was able to do part-time work and still be at home with the kids most of the day. It was a good balance, and it helped her keep her sanity! lol
3 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
23 Aug 18
Yes working part time can give you the best of both worlds and provide some much needed interaction with the outside world.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 18
@Freelanzer You don't realize how much adult interaction you need in your life until you become a parent and have to spend hours and hours with your little ones. We always say that adulting is hard, but sometimes adulting is just what we need! lol
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
24 Aug 18
I thought about homeschooling but didn't think I was cut out for it. I do admire parents who are able to do it though.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
That is a great choice if you are able to work from home while the kids are young.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
24 Aug 18
You are right to be cautious and stay with your child.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53959)
• Los Angeles, California
22 Aug 18
We decided that when we started a family, I would be a stay-at-home-mom. I still am . . . the kids are now 13 and 8 . . . but one day I intend to go back into the working force. We wanted to ensure they had a good foundation in the early years and we got to spend a lot of quality time together - so no regrets. But, Hubby was the one who worked . . . we were able to make one income work - but also he was able to put his all into a career so he could be where he is at now.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
I do have friends who were in a similar situation and I felt jealous at times. But it was my choice and in their early days I was lucky to have flexible work schedules and it helped that my husband was on shift duty during that time.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
31 Oct 19
Yes I mostly had my son with me at work
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
1 Nov 19
@Freelanzer Yes I tried to get jobs like that that would allow me to do so.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40523)
• United States
22 Aug 18
I stayed home until our son was 9 and our daughter was 4. I was glad to be able to stay home with them.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
I think it is a blessing to be able to do that. My flexible schedules in the early days helped a lot.
2 people like this
@MarshaMusselman (38657)
• Midland, Michigan
27 Aug 18
I had two tears when I didn't work elsewhere and we managed. I went back to work to have money in savings although it never stayed there very long. I wished I just stayed home but other than those two years we both worked outside the home.
Working didn't help with our financial security but did help us stay above water at least.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
27 Aug 18
I am sure we would have managed just fine if I had stayed home with the kids full time, but you are right, the extra income does help
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
31 Aug 18
@MarshaMusselman I too did spend quite foolishly when the kids were young but smartened up later. Just hope I had figured it out earlier and like you said, got the benefit of spending more time with my kids.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38657)
• Midland, Michigan
31 Aug 18
@Freelanzer if mine head gone into savings and stayed there as I intended it would have been a benefit but I learned pretty quickly the truth of 'it's you make more, you spend more' for it didn't start in savings very long.
I should have just stayed home with my kids although they grew up fine even though we weren't home more.
Also my health problems might be non-existent had I stayed out of the work force.
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (19273)
• Philippines
22 Aug 18
I only stayed at home when I felt I could no longer bear the stress at work. It gave me a lot of time for my family.
2 people like this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
22 Aug 18
That is a good reason to leave work. At some point we have to make the best decision for ourselves and family.
1 person likes this
