I don't like it.
By Amber
@AmbiePam (85531)
United States
September 16, 2018 1:11pm CST
I never wanted to be a person who saw something wrong and just turned a blind eye. However, on some level I'm understanding why people don't get involved. To be clear, if I heard a man threatening a woman or saw him abuse her, I would immediately call the police, and try to help.
But the guy next door is a VERBALLY abusive jerk. In one apartment on my floor a guy and girl in their mid twenties live together. She and I have talked before, and I like her. I have never spoken to him because he looks like he doesn't want to exchange pleasantries. Once in awhile they will be outside their apartment, standing a few feet from mine, and he will go off on her. Curse after curse comes out, and he verbally degrades and humiliates her. I have listened intently for anything worthy of calling the police. Nothing so far. But all the other neighbors talk about it. No one says anything even though it's impossible not to hear.
Quite frankly, I'm afraid of him. If I were her I would never tolerate that. I would never have problems kicking a guy to the curb for that behavior. Because he isn't trying to hang on to her, SHE is trying to hang on to him.
I feel like if I see her out and about I should ask her if she's okay. If she needed help, maybe she would share. I don't want to be silent, but that guy is scary. None of the grown men around here will say anything either so I assume they are scared of him too.
What would you do? If it is relevant, people have complained about their fighting to the apartment manager, but what can they do?
16 people like this
17 responses
@snowy22315 (170018)
• United States
16 Sep 18
That is battery. I would have the police come and talk to him. His behavior is not OK.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (85531)
• United States
16 Sep 18
They would come by, and talk to them, but here is the thing. I once called the police about ten years ago when I heard a neighbor threaten his girlfriend. By the time they got there the fight was over, and somehow they found out I called (I'm sure it wasn't the police). The couple actually threatened me. Now, they then got kicked out, but it was startling to me that they both got angry with me.
But if I hear it again, I just might do that and mention it happens all the time so the police would know it's a full-time thing.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (170018)
• United States
16 Sep 18
@AmbiePam IF you do, I would ask if some of the other neighbors would back you up in case the police want more corroboration.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
28 Sep 18
It's a tricky situation. I have had some difficult neighbor's over the years. At times, it's hard to know what to do.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58444)
• Philippines
17 Sep 18
I'd call the police and let the police decide if it is abuse or not.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
16 Sep 18
Almost everyones been verbal a time or two. I have many times, and sometimes still do it. You get caught up in anger, and things get said. It isnt always a cause for concern. But if you feel like it is you should try talking to her.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
24 Sep 18
Bless you for being concerned for your neighbor. I just don't understand why some women are so desperate to keep men who degrade them in such ways. But then - abusers are intelligent. It could be that he has her manipulated into thinking that she needs him.
I think that your idea is good - if you are feeling it, to approach her. I'm not sure what management could do about it...
1 person likes this
@Courage7 (19633)
• United States
16 Sep 18
Cops cops and more cops on that brute. That would be my solution.
I had to do that here once where I live and the cops did not come right away, but took him out in cuffs in the early morning hours.
Of course he had punched the girl next door.
I do understand how scary it can be to call tho.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
16 Sep 18
At the end of the day it's their business and she needs to either stand up for herself or leave. Women who are in abusive relationships, for whatever reason, stay in those relationships, and even when they leave, they wind up in OTHER abusive relationships. It's a bad situation either way, but getting in the middle could turn bad for you.
1 person likes this
@sweetashoney (3594)
• United States
16 Sep 18
If he mentally abuses her like that while their out were everyone can hear, just think how he treats her while their inside. I would keep a close watch, if it continues, it seems like you could always file a report for disturbing the peace, I'm a lot of domestic abuse cases, it doesn't do to much good just t talk to the victim, a lot of times they will not admit that they are being abused and say everything is fine.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
16 Sep 18
This is a hard one. I have tried to help and it backfired on me too. The woman would not press charges.
BUT someone else I know was trapped, she stayed and took the beatings and the verbal abuse, everyone knew and no one did anything. Her reason? He told her if she left he would kill her family. If the police came she got beat worst after they leave. For this reason, I will ask and if the woman says its okay, then I walk away.
1 person likes this
