People don't significantly change after high-school
By Faye
@FayeHazel (40248)
United States
November 27, 2018 12:32pm CST
I was discussing with @cintol and I got inspired to write about this thought I've had for awhile.
I don't think that people significantly change after high school. People just get older.
Of course I think sometimes people have a realization, or can change in small ways, or maybe their life circumstance changes.... but generally speaking, I don't think that people change.
I didn't actually go to a public high-school, I was homeschooled for much of my education. I have no complaint, instead much praise, though I must say that I did miss out on a lot of socializing. I didn't have to deal with bullies. But I didn't exactly have a lot of friends growing up, either. And I didn't learn how to deal with the various different cliques. In the meantime I have heard a lot of people talk about it, and seen it (high school) depicted on TV and movies.
For example - the building I live in has a lot of older folks. This isn't a complaint. But I have noticed things. There is a great deal of drama between some groups. Some I can easily picture as bullies in high school. Some I can picture as the popular kid. Some I can easily see being the drama king/queen. An older friend of mine was the "tease", the "boy magnet" - and even in her 60s she remains so today. An older family member was a "bad boy"/"rebel" and maybe even a bully, in highschool. And I see those manipulations and traits in him today even though he is in his mid-60s.
Various people I know , relatives and friends, I can see glimpses of who they were in highschool. The "smart" kid. The "outcast". The bully. The jock. The cheerleader. It is very interesting to me. I don't know what I would have been in a public highschool. Probably would have been the misunderstood artistically minded one.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree? Anything you'd like to share about your own highschool days?
Here is "Don't You" - Simple Minds (great song) which was used in the movie "The Breakfast Club" which deals with a lot of those highschool cliques:
22 people like this
22 responses
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
27 Nov 18
You are entitled to your opinion, certainly.
I found it (homeschooling) enabled me to focus more on school work, get more done within a day. I had (still do have) several anxiety disorders. I graduated from a State University with Magna Cume Laude honors, so I don't think that my homeschooled background hurt me academically.
Though there are many "homeschool" parents who totally slack off in the education department - so that you have kids and young adults who can't read or write too well.... and that gives all of us a bad name.
But then - at least here - there are many publicly schooled, high school graduates who really make me wonder at the educational soundness of our public school system.
2 people like this
@MALUSE (69413)
• Germany
27 Nov 18
@akalinus That is an argument you don't hear in Germany. Teachers in public schools are not allowed to indoctrinate their pupils. If they do, they may be discharged.
Have you got any experience with private religious schools in the USA? Talk about indoctrination!
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@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Nov 18
In some ways I am the same (the heart/core of me is pretty much the same), but in other ways I am very different. It took certain experiences and time in order for me to get where I am today . . . and I think I "blossomed" after graduating high school and finding a job where I met people who I could truly relate to (and they could relate to me). I will say if I could go back to high school days and be more like the person I am now, my high school experience would have been completely different, if not better.
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@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
28 Nov 18
@FayeHazel My first jobs were actually during high school - and a bit over summer right after graduating. I never felt quite right there - quite awkward. I gave up on jobs and decided to focus solely on college . . . but then while buying art supplies for a class, the manager came up to me and asked if I wanted a job! And it started from there. I was in art supply / framing retail. I met co-workers that were also artists/art students - who then became the coolest friends. One became a boyfriend - and I experienced my first break up. But then another co-worker became a boyfriend - and years later my husband. It was a special time in my life - I learned to open up and be happy being myself.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
That's an interesting reflection. What first job sounds like there were some really special people there. What did you do there?
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
29 Nov 18
@much2say Oh wow! That is an amazing story, how you found yourself through art and at the right place at the right time. Happy you were able to meet your husband there. Who'd have thought?
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
29 Nov 18
@DianneN Oui! (alright, I think that's the only French I know. Well, proper French anyway
)
That's amazing though, I always thought French is an elegant language
)
That's amazing though, I always thought French is an elegant language1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
Ah yes. Sometimes seems like they don't even mature too much.
I'm happy that high school was good for you. I would have imagined you as such. What activities?
1 person likes this
@just4him (306386)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Nov 18
You have a lot of food for thought. When I was in school there weren't any bullies like there are today. We had the clown, the in-crowd, and definitely those who didn't fit in anywhere. I was in that crowd. I didn't fit in.
The video is very good. I've never seen the movie, but it definitely shows the way kids are today. From what I saw, kids hold back, don't want to show who they really are to the world, afraid they will be misunderstood, so they bluff their way with a bully mentality.
For me, I would say I have changed in some ways, and in others, my basic personality, I'm still the same introverted, loner, I was back in school. I've come out of my shell a little. I've torn down the wall a couple feet, I can see over the top now, though what I see wants me to build up the wall and hide behind it as the world has gone loco. (That's a term we used back in my day meaning crazy) I like to think that I haven't changed who I am. I never wanted to change the me inside, and in some ways, I hope I never do. The me inside is more secure than the me outside ever will be.
2 people like this
@just4him (306386)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Nov 18
@FayeHazel I've become bold in some ways, especially where my faith is concerned. You could not have gotten me to write on a blog site when I was younger. Good thing they weren't around then. 
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
30 Nov 18
@just4him I'm happy to hear it. Faith esp. is a great thing to be bold in.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
I'm happy the bullies weren't as much of an issue. I wonder if your clown is still a funny person. Were there many others that didn't fit?
Oh yes, very good observation about "Breakfast Club". You basically nailed it. It's a group of different kids who all get detention one day. The popular girl, The arty gothic girl, the brain, the jock and the bad boy. The start out not liking each other, but then they see that they are all just putting on a front - for what's going on at home. End up making new friends.
Nothing wrong with being selective and introverted. :-)
Interesting. I think I'm your opposite. The outside me is more bold and does more things than the inside me thinks is possible
1 person likes this
@cintol (11261)
• United States
28 Nov 18
I went to my 20th yr reunion years ago and it felt just like high school. The jocks were all together, cheerleaders in their little groups, etc. It felt like the good ole days lol NOT! It was weird and I never went to another one after that.
2 people like this
@shaggin (71666)
• United States
28 Nov 18
@cintol I went to my 10 year reunion 7 years ago. I felt very out of place just like I did in high school! When it came time for a group picture I was over by a stream taking photos and no one bothered to tell me to come join the photo so I was the only one not in the photo. I have to say it probably wasn't accidental that I wasn't included. I was weird and I was myself and never wanted to change to fit in so I was the odd girl in school. If I could go back in time I would not change that I still don't care what other people think of me I am myself!
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
@shaggin Oh I'm sorry those bunch are stand offish! It's their loss
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
Im sorry that was your experience, - am happy you don't waste your time with it
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@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
27 Nov 18
Hmm.... No. I was a free spirit in school. Freshman year I played in the band, next I hung with the cool kids but was smart as the nerds. I was not the guy magnet but I always had a boyfriend.
I grew up in a big family so I think I also picked up the way they were, my brother made me a tom boy and my older sister made me girly, my mom made me a cook and my dad a builder.
I just read all that, I am one messed up woman! 
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@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
28 Nov 18
@FayeHazel The boring clarinet. I wanted to play the Sax but all those spots were taken.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
29 Nov 18
@andriaperry Clarinet sounds cool too! Ah I love the sound of sax, I could imagine it was a popular instrument
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
Cool! What did you play?
That is awesome how family influenced you, too.
Messed up? Nah. Multi talented.
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@sofssu (23662)
•
28 Nov 18
I went to a high school reunion after many years,.. and i was surprised that people who never did well , did excellently.. they had become so responsible and mature.. the ones who were smart seemed snobbish.. I also found the two bullies in my class had turned out really nice. I was pleasantly surprised.
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@sofssu (23662)
•
29 Nov 18
@FayeHazel Isn't that lovely.. I hope research points that way.. I am not sure though.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
I'm happy to hear it - maybe there is a turn around for some people
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@xander6464 (40884)
• Wapello, Iowa
27 Nov 18
I totally agree and I take it a step or two beyond just how people don't change after high school. I say that people, period, haven't changed since day one. I first had that thought when I was watching a documentary about ancient graffiti found in Rome, Greece and Egypt. It was translated, of course, but it appeared it could have been written yesterday.
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@xander6464 (40884)
• Wapello, Iowa
28 Nov 18
@FayeHazel One that I recall was found in a worker's corridor in one of the Pyramids in Egypt that said that the boss was a poophead---I cleaned that up for MyLot but you can probably guess the original. There were others that talked about girls who were really good at...um, doing certain things and like I said, all of them looked like what you will find people saying today. So yeah, we really haven't come any further at all.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
Oh wow. I wonder what the ancient graffiti said. Maybe it is in our DNA to be petty, and dramatic. One would have thought we'd have come further by now.
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@akalinus (40440)
• United States
28 Nov 18
@FayeHazel I probably had more than my share but everyone has something.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
29 Nov 18
@akalinus So true. I hope it is better now
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
It's nice that some people change, esp. when it's bad to nice
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@teamfreak16 (43421)
• Denver, Colorado
2 Dec 18
Yeah, pretty much, you are who you are, although some things are changeable if you want to put in the effort.
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@teamfreak16 (43421)
• Denver, Colorado
2 Dec 18
@FayeHazel - People get set in their ways. However, people are jackasses because they choose to be. It's not that difficult to be a good person.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
2 Dec 18
True, I also think that change on the things that actually are changeable - is harder when one is older
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
2 Dec 18
@teamfreak16 True, but for some people it seems to be impossible to be a good person
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@Hannihar (129481)
• Israel
28 Nov 18
@FayeHazel
That is great that you can see in these people what they probably were in high school. I guess you can see there are advantages of homeschooling and disadvantages. I have changed quite bit after leaving the United States and coming here to live in Israel.
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@Hannihar (129481)
• Israel
29 Nov 18
@FayeHazel
I have become my own person and followed my own journey to see where it would go.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
I can only imagine what life changing experience that must have been
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@porwest (78761)
• United States
28 Nov 18
Facebook has allowed us to do one thing we never could in years past. That is, find and keep up with people we once knew. And you are right. MANY of them are not that much different than they were in high school...and for some of them that is NOT a good thing. It is funny to me to notice that more of them did not amount to anything than those who did.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
29 Nov 18
Oh so true. It is fun to look for people I know long ago. That is amazing though how it proves out in your example.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
2 Dec 18
@porwest It is a good thing to be proud of success
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@porwest (78761)
• United States
2 Dec 18
@FayeHazel I just keep thinking as much as I feel sorry for some of them, thank God I actually made something of myself, and went farther.
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@shaggin (71666)
• United States
28 Nov 18
What I noticed after I graduated was people who were stuck up and snooty became nice once they were no longer around their cliques. I think being homeschooled that is something you wouldn't have noticed as much. But I get what you are saying people don't change so drastically they tend to still have those bullying tendencies or shyness etc that they had in school. I cyber school my son so you know I think it can be good for some kids.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
Oh wow. That is a cool perspective, one I hadn't considered. Maybe those people were just being influenced by the crowd they were with. That and I think most people can be heels when they are teens.
Oh cool! That is awesome you are doing best thing for you son by cyber schooling him. You're right, a lot of factors play in and sometimes I, too, feel that it is the best option in some cases
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@snowy22315 (170025)
• United States
28 Nov 18
I think people can change if their motivation is high enough..but in most cases you are who you are..until you decide it is in your best interest to change and have the will to do it.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
When the pain of staying the same is too great, change happens, there's a quote out there, something similar like that... good point though
@DanieGirl80587 (2713)
• United States
29 Nov 18
It depends honestly. I think I have changed somewhat, but I still look mostly the same, give or take a few pounds lol.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
29 Nov 18
lol! I like to think the core person doesn't change, but maybe a few traits here and there as time and experience are teaching us
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
17 Dec 18
I think I'd have to agree with you here.
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
28 Nov 18
Sometimes people change, grow.....
so welcome, love that song
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@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
29 Nov 18
For you, it sounds like public school was the best choices.
There are advantages to both.
For me, homeschool was better due to my circumstances.
Happy it worked out well for you.
