Are there any men out there that can converse?
By AmberLynn
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
United States
January 20, 2019 10:03am CST
No, I'm not asking if any of you mylotters can converse. I'm saying men in general.
I tell you, dating was a lot easier years ago. I met my ex husband via a friend, another boyfriend? via myspace. Other partners were friends of friends etc.
Now I'm a dating site. I threw away a good guy (yes, I know, I know..) and now seem to have found duds.
This one guy? I finally had to tell him that I didn't see this going any further. Why? His vocabulary consisted of "Yessss" and "Ooooo" and "Wyd." He also demanded a picture of me once. I ignored it and gave him the benefit of the doubt. I never gave it to him and he never asked me again. The picture he requested was a decent one but it was still a demand.
Last night I went out to eat with family. I ordered a mixed drink which I enjoyed. I posted a picture of that on my snapstory. He sees this and sends me a reply. When you reply to a snapstory via snapchat? It shows a small image of the picture and whatever the person had to say. All he had to say was "Yessss".
I asked him "Yes, what?" to which he replied "Drink."
Well caveman, sorry but I don't see this working out. Your double or triple letters annoy me and I try to strike up a conversation which promptly falls flat. I was nicer about it, but yeah I did tell him that this wasn't going to work.
Why can't dating be easier?
21 people like this
18 responses
@Namelesss (3368)
• United States
20 Jan 19
To the yesss I would have respnded nooooo. lol
Good Lord, I'm glad I'm not looking for dates. Maybe you should join a few forums (not about dating). At least on those most people do read and write. Too bad snapchat and others are reducing our language to one word or short sentence replies.
3 people like this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
Yes, I feel as if I am standing still in a world where the world is turning into hieroglyphics again. I do use some text speak but mostly it's "lol" or "brb" and I spell words out. If someone asks me what I am doing? I say "I'm watching such and such on television. what about you?" or "I'm reading such and such book by such and such author." to which the usual reply is "oh okay."
@Namelesss (3368)
• United States
21 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum Take a topic that interest you and do a search for a forums about that topic then join up. You're not looking for dates, you're looking for people interested in the same things you are. Never know, that perfect someone may be hiding behind a good discussion.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
20 Jan 19
I am married and I am not dating anymore, but I wasn't too impressed with the conversation skills of some of the men I met in the past. Some men seemed like the person you described.
I also remember someone who talked about himself all day. There was no mutual conversation. He talked, talked and talked and he never commented on anything I said and he never asked me a question. Not even once.I tried to have a conversation with him, but it wasn't a conversation, it seemed more like a monologue, and eventually I gave up.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
20 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum It is hard to talk to people who are mostly interested in themselves, and after some time I get tired of trying.
Too clingy is not good. I met have people like that. Sometimes I just get the feeling that they are too much and I feel that I need to get away from them.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
@Porcospino Well any kind of conversation or relationship would be hard with a person who only talks about themselves. Even a friendship would be strained by someone too full of themselves.
This clingy guy that I had to "break up" with? He had not had a lot of experience in dating, that was pretty obvious. More so when we talked through facebook voice chat and he slipped up. I asked him how many people he's dated and he said "1 or 2... 1" I think he was ashamed of that just a bit.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
I've run into the type who are more interested in themselves than in any real conversation. I've run into the type who seem way too clingy.
I had this one guy that I had to "break up with" even though I'd never even gone on one date with him. He was just too much. He seemed like a really, really sweet guy otherwise. He messaged me through facebook not too long ago and this time I just said "I'm seeing someone." He hasn't messaged me since.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53944)
• Los Angeles, California
20 Jan 19
It's sad that as technology and communication have advanced, the art of expressing with words has gone in the other direction. These days the expressions have to be quick and to the point - I guess - but often it doesn't have much substance. I have a friend who often replies to me in text with "Yasssss" - and I can totally hear her voice upon reading that and know what she means - but still it's annoying. I can imagine with dating it must be a turn off.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53944)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum True - I don't mind it as an expression. But when it's supposed to be a conversation, I don't like that as the answer/comment - it should be expanded on like you said.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
27 Jan 19
@much2say Agreed. Oh well, the part of the population that do things like that arent' going to find meaningful relationships, or atleast I believe.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
There are times when "Yassss" or "Yasss girl" are acceptable forms of expression. Those are times when things like that adds to the conversation instead of taking away from it. Like, I've said "Yasss girl" when me and my girls were planning a vacation together.
Too much of that would be far too annoying for me though. The "Yessss" or "Ooooo" depicts a level of excitement that could be expanded upon. Instead, this guy just said "Yessss" instead of 'Yes, I love a good drink after a long week of work." or "Yes, get your drink on."
I don't know, it's just disheartening really.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
Unfortunately, I don't work outside of the home at the moment. Even so, I never mix business with pleasure. I do know that some men can converse, I've seen it first hand, it just seems I've found a lot that simply can not.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
@paigea ah yes, I was just speaking from my POV. It is good to have friends or friendly people at work though. Makes things much easier, and then there's always someone to complain with.
1 person likes this
@paigea (35765)
• Canada
20 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum I am married, so conversing at work is just conversing.
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
20 Jan 19
I could say the same about women these days.
2 people like this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
Oh I am sure there is trouble on both sides for sure. This is just my experience with it.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
I told my friend that I think I am going to take a break for awhile. I think that I am very prudish? For instance, I don't like being called by pet names or even called beautiful. We aren't dating yet and you aren't impressing me with using pet names that you call every other woman. I'm an individual different from every other woman. Using endearments and pet names just makes me feel "lopped" in with the rest.
Secondly I seem to come across guys that say things like "I'd like to cuddle with you" or "I'd love to be kissing you." These aren't suggestive or anything, but still.. It makes me want to say something like "You don't even know me, I could be a serial killer for all you know." These are things that are said to me BEFORE I even go on a date with the guy.
Am I wrong? I mean, my bestie agrees with me on the endearments thing. Says she hates it too.
"Honey" is the only really acceptable one.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
@Courage7 Yes, I mean, a person doesn't have to know everything but be able to carry on a conversation? Yes. I'm not going to meet a man who doesn't know how to converse.
1 person likes this
@Courage7 (19633)
• United States
20 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum No you are not wrong not to me anyway..tacky comments are annoying from guys. And I am very picky too..I love intelligence.
@allknowing (130195)
• India
21 Jan 19
This guy you are discussing here does not represent men as a whole. This is an extreme case. Men do talk but women do not let them (lol)
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130195)
• India
21 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum Even men who spoke less do perform better than this guy you are talking about
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
21 Jan 19
@allknowing I am sure you are right.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
21 Jan 19
I never said that it represented all men.
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (48480)
• Mojave, California
20 Jan 19
This is what happens when you put Trump in charge. People clearly trying to take the easy way. To hard to think. Lets put someone stupid in charge that way my actions look good even though I think like a sloth moves. To harsh. 
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (48480)
• Mojave, California
20 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum I think bad people are embolden and I always say its good to get everyone involved but only if they try. These people not trying. I try to hate as little as possible but they making it so hard.
I think bad people are embolden and I always say its good to get everyone involved but only if they try. These people not trying. I try to hate as little as possible but they making it so hard.1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
@crossbones27 It's not conducive of anything to hate. I mean, it never really solves things. i agree that a lot of things have come out of the wood works since the beginning of this presidency. Hatred, Ignorance, Blind leading the blind and a cult like following.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
So you think that the single "sloths" are coming out of the wood works because of the presidency?
I mean.. you might not be wrong...
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (459538)
• Switzerland
21 Jan 19
I am married, my previous boyfriend was not a great talker, my husband likes a lot to converse. I split with my previous boyfriend because sometimes I felt I was conducting a "monologue", I talked and asked questions and I did not receive answers... not for me.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
21 Jan 19
Agreed. A man like that just isn't going to work for me. I need someone who can converse. I don't see why guys today think that a woman is going to want to meet him if he can't carry on a conversation.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
21 Jan 19
@LadyDuck My dating profile says something along the lines of "say more than just hi, how are you?".
I get some who actually DO say more then that, and some who don't read my profile at all. I read every guys profile and the majority of them? Don't say much and say "let's talk and get to know each other." Yet when you message them? They don't know how to carry on a conversation.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (459538)
• Switzerland
21 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum I cannot understand where is the interest to be in a relationship where you have no conversation.
@Courtlynn (66918)
• United States
21 Jan 19
That really doesnt surprise me. Though it really didnt make sense to just reply to the picture with yess
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
21 Jan 19
Yeah, it was annoying if nothing else. I just kept picturing a relationship with him wherein I'd say "Honey, I'm going to go hang out with friends" and he'd say "Oooo" or "Yesss"..
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (66918)
• United States
21 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum i mean some wouldnt mind convos like that, but can understand why you wouldnt want it.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
21 Jan 19
@Courtlynn I don't know anyone who would be okay with those types of convos.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
21 Jan 19
@Nevena83 No, I had to tell him that I wasn't interested any longer.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
You misunderstand, he's not "my man." he's just a guy I'm talking to. Or was. I'm no longer talking to him.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (65280)
• Serbia
20 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was a man you liked.
@WiseGhots (14607)
•
21 Jan 19
Like @JohnRoberts said: "I could say the same about women these days." 
1 person likes this
Hope you will soon get a suitable answer and person@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
Why don't you think you should have responded? Did you read the discussion itself?
1 person likes this
@Sheali (7461)
• India
20 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum yes, I read..
so I said, "Looking at the title." and the rest was just wishing the best for you.. 
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
20 Jan 19
@Sheali Okay, well then.. Thanks?
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170663)
• United States
21 Jan 19
Yes, I hear that..there are a lot of guys who just wanted to converse in two word phrases like "What up?" or barely will write a full sentence about themselves. If somebody can't carry on a conversation..I am not interested. I talked to one person on the phone one time who was so boring..I found the convo painful. When I do meet someone "good" it doesn't go anywhere..so I hear ya.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
21 Jan 19
I met a guy a few months ago and we went on a few dates, I'd even call him my boyfriend. He said "I wont' ghost you", he offered this bit of information up himself. Ultimately, he did just stop talking to me. He eventually sent me a text but by this time I had already given up and moved on.
Then there was this other guy that I had to break up with even though I wasn't even dating him. This guy was like your boring guy. I talked to him on the phone and he could carry on a conversation but the conversation was ultimately really boring. I ended up messaging him through facebook (which is where we did the most talking) and told him that I was sorry but I didn't want to meet up with him afterall. It took a good hour to convince him of this. I know i could have just blocked him and went on with my life but he was very inexperienced in dating and I didn't want to be just another girl who hurt him.
He messaged me a few weeks ago again and I simply wrote "I'm seeing someone." That was a flat out lie but he didn't message me back.
@stine1online (835)
• Germany
21 Jan 19
Oh my, I totally see your point. Would annoy the hell out of me, too. Seems he never grew up...
@Poppylicious (11133)
•
21 Jan 19
Husband and I met in 2002 through match.com. He was exceedingly good at conversing; we used to write really long emails to each other about anything, and everything, before we actually met. I think I've been quite lucky with the men in my life, both romantically and platonically... I seem to be able to surround myself with the conversing type of men.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
22 Jan 19
You aren't the only one who has said that. I know he's an english speaking guy. I've seen pictures of him. It doesnt' matter anyway, I don't talk to him anymore.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23159)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
23 Jan 19
@ScribbledAdNauseum that's a wise decision.
