Duties of a Wife

@ossie16d (11827)
Australia
November 30, 2006 10:18am CST
Duties of a Wife Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days before he saw any results, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away. Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table. The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye - enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper. Yay for Australian Women ...
5 people like this
31 responses
@rosebug23 (1909)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I like this one now next time my hubby tells me what to do instead of telling him where to go or to do it himself .I'm not really mean i'll give him some ice for his swollen eye and i want mind if he takes a bit longer to clean up as it is harder with one hand holding the ice to his eye LOL.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
LOl rosebug. It sure is kind and loving of you to give him the ice for his eye plus more time to do the chores one handed. I am pleased that you read and enjoyed this and thanks very much for responding. :)
@caribe (2465)
• United States
30 Nov 06
That was a big, big chuckle of the day. Go, Austrailia, I like your style. LOL
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
30 Nov 06
I am pleased that you read and enjoyed this caribe, and yes we Aussie women certainly know how to treat our men. LOL Thanks for responding. :)
@KrauseHome (35507)
• United States
11 Dec 06
Ok... I am sure I know a lot of people with Attitudes like the Australian woman here, and would want to about do the same thing. Men should take part in everything just like a man does in my opinion.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
12 Dec 06
Yes, the Aussie woman sure has strong opinions and makes sure that her husband knows about them as well. LOL Thanks for reading and responding. :)
@sweetie88 (4559)
• Pakistan
1 Dec 06
Australian Wife - Australian Wife
Lol. After reading this joke, i smilled and a thing came in my mind that u r too from australia. What did uncle say to u and what was urs response??????? Lol. Did he too.............? I am excited to see that what did happen with uncle on his 3rd day of his marrraige. Lol. Thx. a lot for entertaining us and keep on telling us such nice jokes. Best of luck for future!!!!!
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I am pleased that you enjoyed this sweetie88. My husband just looked at me when I read it out to him but actually he is pretty good. We do share most of the household jobs anyway, although I do the gardening but he mows the lawn. Thanks for reading and responding. :)
1 person likes this
@sherinek (3323)
• United States
1 Dec 06
Tell me, from where you find this type of stories? It is a good one but I think it gives minus marks for Australian women. The Australians I met on myLot are not that rough I think. They are nice and kind and caring. (including you)
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I just collect them sherinek and like to share them with others. Not a minus for Australian women but we do know how to keep men in line. LOL Thanks for reading and responding. :)
1 person likes this
@claudia413 (4284)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Absolutely hysterical! My favorite kind of joke. Yay for Australian women is right...you go, girl!
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
12 Dec 06
I am so pleased that you read and enjoyed this joke claudia and even better still to know that we Aussie women have our supporters in our endeavours to make sure our men "know their place" in this world. LOL
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
13 Dec 06
I have given you best response for this one claudia, and just in case you forget your duties, here are some of the "tools of trade for a wife", always providing you aren't an Aussie wife that is. LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Mar 07
Ossie, thanks for the Best Response and the "tools of the trade". Unfortunately, the only one I will use are the garden tools. I try NOT to buy any clothes that have to be ironed, Mike actually runs the vacuum, but I do like using the garden tools (as long as he's out there helping).
@nitesh123 (417)
• India
1 Dec 06
that was really a good one, go ausie
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I am so pleased that you read and enjoyed this and thanks very much for responding. :)
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
28 Jan 07
I wonder why people always respond with jokes as you have done this several times in my discussions mridig.
1 person likes this
@SK401001 (934)
• United States
28 Jan 07
A new jail warden was being shown through the jailhouse by the old warden. Soon, after making rounds around the rest of the jail, they get to the cafeteria. In one corner, he sees a group of elderly men laughing hysterically. Interested, he watches them while the older warden gets his food. One of the men shouts out "63!" and the entire table bursts out laughing. The new warden is totally baffled by the behavior of them. "74!", again a chorus of guffaws ring out. The old warden comes back to the table where the new warden sits staring, and the new warden asks "What are those elderly men doing." The old warden smirks, and says, "Oh, those are the life timers. They've been in here so long, they just number their jokes." Meanwhile another one calls out "2!". Nobody laughs. The new warden leans over and asks, "What happened?" To this the old warden replied, "Some people just can't tell a joke."
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
29 Jan 07
Why do some people find it necessary to always respond with a joke I wonder?
• United States
31 Dec 06
*LOL*...you tell him! Thanks for the laugh! time to go to bed!
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
31 Dec 06
I am pleased that you enjoyed this and had a laugh before bedtime. Sweet dreams and see you tomorrow. :)
@brckoba (795)
• United States
1 Dec 06
This is joke is hilarious. Thank you. Did you know that laughter is a very healthy way to exercise your heart. For the heart 20 minutes of laughing is the same as 30 minutes of exercise. Thank you again you are actually brining health to mylot.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I am pleased that you read and enjoyed this. Yes, laughter is good for the health, both mental and physical in fact. Thanks very much for responding. :)
1 person likes this
@exchange (949)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
so true i cannot train my wife but i dont get the swollen eyes my privates do hurt once in a while though :)
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
1 Dec 06
I am pleased that you enjoyed this exchange but perhaps you had better not let your wife read it, just in case she likes the idea of how to keep you in line. LOL Thanks for reading and responding. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Mar 07
I am not a mommy but ill be a daddy for sure.. Seeing my mom whos taking good care of us here.. Being a mom is avery big responsibilities that's why im saluting those moms out there and im loving my mom forever! We should love our mom and our wife too... Have a nice day ahead!
1 person likes this
@joanana (770)
• United States
12 Mar 07
Oh hell yeah! The Australian woman had the right idea. In fac that would have been my response too.
1 person likes this
@babyreyn (934)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
The lesson is that, be careful in having duties with your wife. Because if I am the wife i guess more that. hahahaa
1 person likes this
@mcbota (2127)
• Romania
11 Dec 06
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
11 Dec 06
Oh dear and now you have "upset" all the blondes who come here. LOL Thanks for the joke and also for your response. :)
@caramello (4381)
• Australia
11 Dec 06
This "blonde" is used to the jokes, but will one day take it as too much, and go grey gracefully, by then the jokes will be about greys'. lol
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
12 Dec 06
Ah caramello, I am going grey and there is nothing graceful about it at all. Much better to grow old disgracefully, because at least that will keep everyone wondering what you have been up to. LOL Thanks very much for your comments. :)
1 person likes this
@oldboy46 (2132)
• Australia
5 Feb 07
Have you been talking to my partner .... this is something that she would say and do, so think I will not let her see this one .... just in case she gets any bright ideas of her own.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
5 Feb 07
Glad that you enjoyed this one oldboy but I think you should show it to your partner, as I am certain that she will enjoy it. If not, what is your email address so I can send it to her? LOL
• United States
21 Jan 07
that was a really good story and i honestly would do the same thing to my boyfriend if we ever get married and he done that to me. but you know some where out there in the world there are husbands and wifes that that fit all three of the descriptions. i just happen to fit just the last one. well anywho me and my boyfriend really enjoyed it and hope to hear more.
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
21 Jan 07
You are right in that there are all 3 types of couple like these in the world, and I definately fit into the last one. LOL Luckily my husband has always done his share of the housework so that has never been an issue with us.
• United States
21 Jan 07
Smart Australian woman! When both the husband and wife work, both should share household duties. If the woman is left at home, the guy should still help to give her some kind of a break from it all. If you really want someone to keep the house clean, get a maid, not a wife!
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
21 Jan 07
Yes we know how to treat our men. LOL I agree, if the man cannot do the cleaning himself then he can always hire a maid.
@mridig (202)
• India
6 Jan 07
Good Reason Load At 7 AM, a lone wife hears a key in the front door. She wanders down, bleary eyed, to find her husband in the kitchen – drunk, with ruffled hair and lipstick on his collar. "I cassume," she snarls, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at seven in the morning?" "There is," he replies. ‘Breakfast.’
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
6 Jan 07
This is the second time you have responded to this discussion and both times with a joke.
@atreyasa (79)
• India
4 Jan 07
good one
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
4 Jan 07
Did you enjoy it? Thanks for reading this one.