Have you ever felt like you were forgotten?
By B Santiago
@mrsb21 (60)
Philippines
November 4, 2023 3:14am CST
I feel forgotten. I don’t post on social media, especially my problems. I also turned off my “active status” because I don’t like people messaging me so they can borrow money. I got married in 2018, but I feel like my friends are not my friends anymore. Whenever I reach out to them so we can eat out or to meet them to catch up, they will always reply to me, “Why?” Like, is there any other reason to meet a friend, sit down with them, and have a cup of coffee after not seeing each other for years? My friends don't invite me anymore to gatherings.
I don’t have people to talk to that’s the reason I joined mylot. I think I’m going crazy. Have you ever felt this way too? I just write in my diary because I don’t have someone who can listen to me; even my husband asked me to “shut up” when I talk. He always decides on everything. I feel like I don’t have a voice.
8 people like this
8 responses
@pumpkinjam (8539)
• United Kingdom
4 Nov
I am sorry that you are feeling like this. I do hope you can find some support here. I have always found myLot a very friendly community. It's just a shame there is such a distance between most of us.
I have felt the way you do. I don't have many friends but do always feel that I am the one making all the effort most of the time. As for feeling forgotten, I don't know. Being forgotten would imply that you had been noticed/remembered before. I honestly believe that most people I know or have known are mostly oblivious to my existence.
It does seem odd for friends to ask why you want to meet up. Perhaps you need new friends.
1 person likes this
@mrsb21 (60)
• Philippines
4 Nov
It's good to know that I'm not the only one. It feels so lonely physically, and somehow with all the responses, I can feel a bit better because there are people here who listen to me. Although we are all from different places, somehow there's a connection, and I feel less stranger than to those people I used to know.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
7 Nov
You need to find new friends! Does your spouse have married friends that you could be social with? Do you go to the grocery or other places where you can strike up conversations and perhaps turn it to friendship?
I used to have friends like that, they were users who only contacted me when they needed help. Eventually I decided I was not a doormat and dumped them. When I got married I became friends with the wives of my husband's friends. We are divorced now but we have one friend in common that we've both known over 30 years.
I have very few friends but they are good friends and all I need. Put yourself out there and talk to people. You'd be surprised how many lonely people there are who are looking for good friends.
1 person likes this
@mrsb21 (60)
• Philippines
7 Nov
That was a brave decision for you. Sorry to hear about your story, but you’re right and I felt they will only send me a message when they need me. I recently deleted people from my Facebook. I think that’s a good start.
My husband introduced me to someone but we occasionally hang out.
Thanks for your response! I feel like I wasn’t alone who experiencing this.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
4 Nov
I'm sorry you feel forgotten. When you reach out to your friends and suggest meeting up for lunch or just have a coffee and they ask "Why?", do you tell them you miss them and would like to catch up on things that are happening with them?
Why don't they invite you to gatherings anymore? Have you refused to go to the gatherings before so they think you aren't interested anymore?
Are your friends married now and busy with kids so don't feel like they have time to go out and chat?
Have you tried making new friends that you have things in common with now? That would be my next step...
Good luck to you.
1 person likes this
@mrsb21 (60)
• Philippines
4 Nov
Hi DE!
For your question: do you tell them you miss them and would like to catch up on things happening with them? - Yes, and after that I felt awkward that I shouldn't bother the person anymore.
For your question: Why don't they invite you to gatherings anymore? Have you refused to go to the gatherings before so they think you aren't interested anymore? - No, I don't know why they did not invite me, and I didn't refuse any invitation.
For your question: Are your friends married now and busy with kids so don't feel like they have time to go out and chat? - Not everyone. I'm the one who's married with three kids. I also have a group of friends in church who are married with kids and we used to hang out before, but now even our group chat is quiet.
For your question: Have you tried making new friends that you have things in common with now? - Yes, but we don't talk much. I also feel that they will leave me any time soon.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
4 Nov
@mrsb21 I'm sorry... It sounds like none of them were really your friends if they've abandoned you like that.
1 person likes this
@ogbenishyna (2998)
•
4 Nov
I do several times, and in most cases, people deliberately do it.
1 person likes this
