Meeting The Parents - How Did It Go?

United States
January 5, 2007 1:19pm CST
Hey everyone - I just got back from my boyfriend's parents house in Kansas - meeting his parents for the first time was an extremely pleasurable experience - however, on my way, everthing that could possibly go wrong, did. I only had about 3 hours sleep, someone bumped into me at the airport and I spilled hot chocolate all over my shirt, and then the flight was delayed almost 2 hours. But I had nothing to worry about - they were wonderful people and a I had an awesome time. But my dilemma made me think that there have to be some amazing "meet the parents" stories out there. What's yours?
2 people like this
27 responses
• United States
5 Jan 07
Meeting my partners parents was... interesting. We had already become pregnant before I met his parents, so tensions among all parties were extremely high. From the beginning of our relationship we had decided that we would not involve each other's families until we knew that we were "the ones" for each other. We felt like there was no reason to involve other people's emotions if they could get hurt. But it went fine. His family is amazing. My family love him. And our baby is due in March.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
Congratulations!! That's awesome about the baby, by the way. But I have to say, you've brought up an excellent point that I was thinking about on the plane ride home. I felt like I truly had made a connection with his family this weekend, and I suddenly began to think, "What happens if we don't make it?" And all of the sudden I had made up these scenarios in my head where I'm having to write them letters and apologize and give explanations. Sounds completely ridiculous, because we're perfectly happy and talking marriage...but I suddenly wondered what the ettiquette would be for something like that. I've always gotten close to the families of those few that I have dated, and it wasn't just a breaking up of us, but also the families. It's kinda sad, actually. Your decision to hold off on meeting them was a good one and a well founded one that I didn't really think about. Kudos and thanks for answering!
• Canada
5 Jan 07
Hey sarahbeth :) Welcome back! Glad to hear that your trip went well (except for the hot chocolate and the delay and all lol). I gave some thought to your question about the relationship with a partner's family. With my ex in-laws, things were awkward for a long time after the separation and divorce. I had previously been really close with my sister in law, often having people mistake us for sisters (we even looked alike, which I guess just increased the confusion). We shared a lot of the same interests and we socialized together pretty often. We tried keeping in touch a bit but it just got more and more uncomfortable. I know that his family, like mine, had oodles of questions about why we broke up (after dating for 6 years, married for 12) but I gave no explanation to anyone. Mainly because there WAS no single reason... it was a multitude of things... and I felt I owed no one that information. Sometimes I felt, like you mentioned, that I should write them letters or something. Then, I realized that no matter what I said, it would be wrong or misinterpreted because people have a natural tendency to "take sides"... and I knew they would "side" with my ex over me. To this day, they don't know any of the things he's done to me or to the kids... and I never plan to tell them either. I have nothing to apologize for and they can think that the divorce was "my fault" if they'd like. I just found out he is getting re-married this summer so I'm thinking that will put a few more things to rest and give them a new focus. My advice to you, if you wanted any ;) ... enjoy the relationship you have with his family. Grow with them and treat them well, like you do with your own side. Don't worry about the possibilities down the road. Just know you're a good person, entering into a genuine and loving relationship with their son. That's really all they will ever need to know :)
2 people like this
• United States
5 Jan 07
Hey! Thanks :) - I liked your response and your outlook - your reaction to his family speaks volumes about your personality and your integrity - it takes an amazing person to be able to let things like that go and not try to defend yourself. Not long after I had all of those conversations in my head with his family and all the letters I wrote, I laughed at myself - here I was hoping he would ask me to marry him and I'm already dreaming up ways we would have to break up!! *laugh* Speaks a lot about my own expectations about relationships, too...hoping to change THAT in the new year :). Thanks again! I always enjoy reading your responses!!
1 person likes this
@mysiraylon (1102)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Congratulations sarahbeth1977... and how thus it feel to spend time with your soon to be in-laws huh... Please share some details about the thrill on it. And also your boyfriend's reactions to your experience in meeting his parents.
• United States
5 Jan 07
Well, it's interesting. I found out that his sister-in-law is actually my cousin...but it's way off like 11th generation. It freaked me out - we meet in Kansas only to find that her aunt and uncle live down the street from me in a small town in Dublin, VA. We all had a good laugh about it, but it was really quite freaky *grin*. But honestly, they felt like family - we all got along, there wasn't any awkwardness to speak of...and we had a wonderful time. I'm not sure if my boyfriend really cared all that much *grin* he didn't really say one way or the other - but I think he was pleased that I got along with his mom and step-dad so well. Thanks for asking!! :D
• United States
8 Jan 07
His sister-in-law is your cousin wow... then your family really will be closed for each other huh. Did you say 11th generation ... that's good. Well good luck to both of you.
@Pigglies (9339)
• United States
6 Jan 07
My girlfriend has never met my parents, and likely never will since they don't approve. But I've met her parents and they were wonderful. They were just really nice to me the whole time and asked me what kind of stuff I like to do. They were really cool and accepting and I was kind of jealous that my parents couldn't also be so accepting. It was nice to be accepted by my girlfriend's family.
• Pakistan
6 Jan 07
My sad story............. I proposed my girl friend.............First she hesitated but later she accepted. We both had a great time I told my parents about our love story. A spent alot of time on my girlfriend and money. After two months we were going to get married but my girlfriend left me and has made another boyfriend. A started to investigate about her. I found that girl has done the same thing with many boys.
• United States
6 Jan 07
I just recently met my boyfriend's parents. They invited me over for Thanksgiving. They had heard so much about me that they told him to bring me over. When we got there he left me in the corner and when to talk to him family. If it wasn't for text messaging I would have been all alone.
• United States
6 Jan 07
*ack* that would be rough to say the least...I guess I've always been a people person and I'm the first to strike up conversation regardless...but that would feel like total entrapment in the home, though, without escape!
• Canada
8 Jan 07
That's a good question. I've not yet met his mother (his father isn't alive), but he says it should be OK. As for my parents....YIKES!!! That ought to be interesting, when I introduce him. LOL
@carolynpb (647)
• United States
8 Jan 07
The first time I met my then boyfriend, now husband's Dad was funny. I knew his mother and sisters but it was his dad I had never met. I ask his dad something, I can't even remember what it was now and he just looked at me and said nothing, then about 10 mintutes later he answered me! lol It took a second for me to know what he was talking about. I had forgotten that I had asked a question! Over time I have seen that that is how he is. So, I laways try to remember what I ask him so I will know later what he's talking about.
@Kalachia (230)
• United States
7 Jan 07
My boyfriends parents flip flopped between liking me one week, and disliking me the next. I've come to learn that that is just how they are, and we're learning to cope with it all together, instead of just talking behind each others backs. They're really nice people, and I know they have their moments, and that's why I think I'll learn to eventually love them as my future in-laws.
@dominican (202)
• Philippines
6 Jan 07
When I meet my girlfriends parents I was really embarassed at first cause we went there without notice. So when we came there, they were like "Ai who's the guy sort of situation". So after spending time there I had an awful night specially with the dad's questions. I kinda suck at meeting the parents kind of part.
@maru_047in (1007)
• India
6 Jan 07
ur story is awesome even i want a situation like this i m waiting for that to happen
@Reviver (339)
• Romania
6 Jan 07
My girlfriend has never met my parents, and likely never will since they don't approve. But I've met her parents and they were wonderful. They were just really nice to me the whole time and asked me what kind of stuff I like to do. They were really cool and accepting and I was kind of jealous that my parents couldn't also be so accepting. It was nice to be accepted by my girlfriend's family.
• Malaysia
6 Jan 07
i experienced it once. but not to me just to my brother's girlfriend. she came to our home for the first time and then she did not do well. i guess it was just because my mom already don't like her since she knew her background. but then i ask my mom why was that so and she explained everything to me. now i know why in-law cannot stay together. they're hard to understand each other.
@anushri (961)
• India
6 Jan 07
well in my case theer is a time to meet parents but i think tht her parents dont like me bcoz they want their cast guy i dont know whts their problem
@Brandi06 (2227)
• United States
6 Jan 07
it was ok
@sylviekitty (2083)
• United States
6 Jan 07
I didn't meet my parents until the day of the wedding rehersal. LOL That's because my husband's family lives in one state, and my family lives in another (and we got married in my home state). His parents drove across country for the wedding, and I came home from picking up my husband's wedding ring...only to find them not only in town, but there in the house. That's how I met them. They were there with my sister, who was due to give birth to her first child at any moment. It was weird, to say the least! But they were very nice. :) They left to go back home right after the reception.
@usman400 (1588)
• Pakistan
6 Jan 07
I have meeted many parents, friends, relaitves etc, meetign with the classical ones is appealing for me
@sibiejohn (156)
• India
6 Jan 07
i am not yet married.. and iam not at the age for marring...i will tell after some years about this...
• New Delhi, India
6 Jan 07
i havent met hers ....but i lookforward to it.and i hope the encounter goes off well.every one in this look upon parents as someone who are there for you everytime and its true.
@tocika (970)
• Romania
6 Jan 07
Hello!When I met my boyfriends parents was great.They are wonderful people,and I am a communicative person,I take a present for each of them:for his mother I bought an flower of pine apple to put in her green house and for his father I bought books,because his father is teacher.Now,after 5 years we understand better and this year they help us to do our marriege.Thank you for put me to remember of this ,,episod,,of my life.Have a nice life and a nice day;)
@pizzoli (3368)
• Italy
6 Jan 07
i think is a difficult experience depending on the parents character my experience was good the only thing to do is to be yourself
@gemini13 (333)
• India
6 Jan 07
oh that was nice am a single child of my parents i was pampered a lot am married now but for the first time when i came to meet my mom-in-law i was soooo scared coz i was already told that she is totally against love marraige .....but some how i managed good god , i stayed there with the family for 2 months and to impress my mom-in-law i did every house hold chore for her the things which i hv never done i did all those things for her but ......my boyfriend(now hubby) he could not bare all that and one fine day we went to temple with our friends and got married my story is a bit adventurous though not that typical like meeting the parents kind but in its own way.....