Stay at home husbands?

Indonesia
January 19, 2007 7:10am CST
I've just happened to read that there's a woman who considers her self to be lucky because her husband is a stay at home husband who doesnt work. I'm kind of confused, well, call me a old fashioned, because I dont agree with her. Well, I personally think it is a shame for a guy who's letting his wife to work while he's at home, doing nothing but waiting for his wife comes home. I think that's a man duty to take care of his family. That's his main duty. Then it his wife wants to help, then let her do it. But not letting-himself-doing-nothing kind of way. What do you think?
16 people like this
117 responses
@inked4life (4227)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Your views are not only old-fashioned, but ridiculous. I have been a stay at home dad for 8 years. We believe that it is very important for one of the parents to stay home with the kids and as my wife is the major bread winner, it made sense for me to do it, plus it was something I always wanted to do. Oh and here is just a partial list of the things I do while "waiting for my wife to come home" 1. get kids up and ready for school 2. make them breakfast and pack a lunch 3. make beds and tidy the house, deep clean at least once per week 4. do any laundry that is laying around 5. get groceries at least once per week 6. have dinner ready for wife and kids 7. bathe kids ang get them ready for bed, includes reading a bedtime story, or better yet make one up which they love...I guess this doen't count though as my wife is home resting by this point. That' a SMALL list...there are a million other little things that come up on a daily basis...add to that the fact that I do freelance website from home. Welcome to the modern world!!
3 people like this
@kritipen (4083)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Yes that was an eye opener. I agree with you. Woman work and men stay a home taking care of other things. Why not? If men and woman sharen equally these days, this also holds good.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Jan 07
yes i was a little upset about the comment made "sit at home and wait". i am not a stay at home dad, but rather a stay at home mom. i had a full time job before she was born, and went to school. i loved my job, and i enjoyedgoing to school. But staying at home with my daughter is definitely more difficult then any job i have ever had. I think the most difficult is we don't get paid! lol, but of course it is so rewarding :)
@SaraCate (184)
• Canada
19 Jan 07
Kudos, inked4life, on standing up for serious stay at home dads! The implication that stay-at-home-dads/husbands can't/don't take their commitment to thies famlies just as seriously as many stay-at-homemoms burned me too! ~Sara
1 person likes this
• Melbourne, Florida
19 Jan 07
Sometimes there is role reversal. What if the wife has a better paying job? It wouldn't make sense for her to stay home if she is the major bread winner. The fact that she has a husband who is willing to go against the 'norm' and take on the household duties is fabulous. Most men would not be able to swallow their false pride. Staying home with the kids is much harder than going to work. I guarantee he is not just sitting home waiting for his wife to get home. Taking care of a household is a thankless job with no chance of promotion or raise. I give props to a man who is willing to accept these role reversals. It may not work for everybody, but if it works for you, great. My sister is the one who works in her family and her husband stays home with the 5 kids. They tried it the other way, and my sister almost lost her mind. She would rather be the one who gets to get out of the house everyday, and he has a firmer hand to handle the children. It works great for them, but drives my parents crazy becuase they feel it should be the other way around, even if my sister was miserable doing things the traditional way.
2 people like this
• India
20 Jan 07
True... In this modern world you cant expect things to happen in the same way as it was happening some years back.. Things are changing really fast and you got to accept them... I dont really think duties are tied with the gender anymore when it comes to running a family. Whoever id good in the expected role should handle it...
@aprilten (1966)
• Philippines
20 Jan 07
I agree with that, too. Nowadays, it doesn't matter who's bringing in the dough, the important thing is the family is happy with the situation and the needs of each member is being met. I salute those husbands who don't mind staying at home and doing the chores, doing the role that was tailor-made, as others would say, to women. But my friends situation is not that way. She's working, her husband has no job. She's the one attending to the kids, preparing their breakfast and everything else. Of course she's not happy with this situation. And I agree with her as most of you would. I just wish her husband realizes this before it's too late cause she's contemplating on separation.
• India
19 Jan 07
Things have not remained the same for the past few years. It is absolutely ok if u r feeling confused; but the thing is everything is changing on such a fast pace that nobody knows whats happening round the world if u r not updated with it. Home husband is no big deal these days. Gone are the days when the husband used to get money and the wife used to be at home. One way i feel its good things have changed. Atleast the husbands will know that it is no joke taking care of the house, running behind the children, doing the laundry etc. whew ! the list just seems endless.
2 people like this
@coolcatzz (1587)
• Canada
19 Jan 07
I disagree with you. In this day and age if someone has to stay home its better if its the person with the lower salary. Perhaps she has had a lot of schooling and has a better job. I wouldn't want my husband to stay home if it were for no reason but if he was looking after our kids I don't see anything wrong with it.
2 people like this
@jenbatres (800)
• United States
19 Jan 07
My man and I both work full time, and we also work on the side doing tattoo's and body piercings. I feel in order to make the bills and have decent money left over it takes two people to work full time jobs. . . .. That being said, others may be able to do it on one income but I don't think they can have as much as a two income household. . . . .we have the ability to never say no to the kids, my oldest daughter will spend $80USD on one pair of jeans. . . . .. I think you are wrong about stay at home moms and dads, they do work . . .they have to take care of the kids, clean the house, cook, laundry. . . The stay at home role is not for me, but many parents like doing this. . . .
2 people like this
@NancyLobo (681)
• India
20 Jan 07
Yes it is little tough for a man to sit at home and look after the Kids as he is supposed to be a bread winner for the family he will usually be sad even though he does not show as society will not respect him it is very hard to change the values of society but if there are reasons beyond his control and his need is to be at home then he should stay at home and first think of hi life an family an not bother what others in the society have to say.
1 person likes this
@kawillow74 (1417)
• United States
20 Jan 07
i know when I was growing up there where 2 kids there mom worked and there father stay home yes i thought it was odd but later in life I learn why she had a very good job and one of them want to be home with the biys. When the kids where old enough he did go to work. If they both make that choice I see nothing wrong with it.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
20 Jan 07
You are absolutely right that its a man duty to take care of his whole family and its really emberassing for him but if his wofe is working outside and doing job that is not a bad thing if he is performing the duty of house husband. It doesnt matter that what the world would think but I think there is nothing bad in it but if he is performing the duty of house. But if he doesnt do any work and sits at home just waiting for his wife to come and not even trying to get a nice new job then its really emberassing for him.
1 person likes this
• Australia
20 Jan 07
i really dont angry where husband staying at home and wife is going out working to earn money for the family. as i knew when people married husband need to work hard to building up the family. and when they married husband is the head of the family. personally i dont think fair for women to work and try to earn money and husband just stay at home. at least if the husband working only casual or part time it ok but if not working at all it is very bad
1 person likes this
@loub020 (16)
• United States
19 Jan 07
If he is going to clean, and cook and do laundry, then why not let him stay home? If my man were a stay at home kinda guy, I would LOVE to come home to a nice meal and a clean house. But I can't afford to live on only 1 salary. =( Its 2007 .... there's nothing old fashioned anymore.
1 person likes this
@venshida (4837)
• United States
19 Jan 07
If the wife is making more money, and they have kids it makes financial sense for the husband to stay at home. If there are no kids involve and he is healthy, I think he should work.
• India
19 Jan 07
i think in todays era,it is the sole responsibility of both husband and wife to earn for their family.Both should understand the need to work and earn.If due to any genuine reason one cannot do work so other should understand and take whole reaponsibility but doing nothing simply without any reason then this is totally wrong...
@mom2boys (334)
• United States
19 Jan 07
WHAT!! Why!? These days and ages, women are more inclined to work and why not!! If she can make the money, why not let him stay home?? Wouldnt you rather your husband raise your kids than strangers at that?????????? come on now, things are much different these days, we are not all old fashioned these days, now i am a stay at home mom..i love it, and if i made the money and my husband could I would let him! More power to those men who do! Atleast they are the ones raising their families and not in a daycare which is best for most.
1 person likes this
@SaraCate (184)
• Canada
19 Jan 07
Your "letting-himself-do-nothing" remark is just as disrespectful as if you'd said it about a stay-at-home Mom. Just because he's male, you assume he doesn't run the house? If she consideres herself lucky, he must be "doing his job." I am currently a homemaker, and consider it a job just as seriously as if I were working for someone els, outside the home. I should take it more seriously - after all, who's more important - my family or "some other guy" who happens to give a paychack? (I realize there are times in life where that paycheck may be vital...that's not what I'm tlaking about.) What's to say that a stay-at-home dad/husband doesn't take his job just as seriously? Kudos to inked4life for standing up for serious stay-at-home dads. ~Sara
1 person likes this
19 Jan 07
That is such an old fashioned view! Firstly, I would like to say that "housewife or husband"- they don't just "sit at home" waiting for their other half to get home! Who on earth do you think keeps the house clean and tidy, keeps it running, looks after the children, takes them to school, cooks etc etc etc... That, my dear, is hardly NOTHING! I think it is incredibly sexist of you to say that its the man's duty to look after the wife. We live in an age where it is hard to survive on one wage, but sometimes one of you needs to stay at home to look after the children etc. I would assume that the wife in this situation probably earns more than what the husband would have when he was working. So it would make more sense for the husband to stay at home. I know that if it were possible, my boyfriend would jump at the chance to stay at home and look after our daughter rather than work 7am to 6pm Monday to Friday. I think you need to open your mind up a little!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 07
I know of a few stay at home husbands. They stay home to care for the children. The wife has a job that pays substantially more than the husbands. They didn't want to put the children in day care which is costly. If the man can contribute to the household in other ways, why not let him stay home. If he sits at home like a lump of crap, that is another story.
1 person likes this
@shooie (4986)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Well I am old fashion as well but....if the wife had the higher paying job and with the way child care cost is soaring then hey if the hubby staying works for them more power to them. I'm sure he takes care of the kids and the house. It would be different if he stayed home and did nothing but if does everything that she would do if she ere home then more power to him and her.
1 person likes this
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
19 Jan 07
my children are all grown up, and when they were young-we both worked but didn't have a sitter. We each worked different times, and would care for our children while the other was at work. most of the time this worked well. If my husband wanted to stay home all the time-because i made more money than him and we didn't need the money, I would have no problem with that. And I'm sure it would be the opposite way also. too many couples argue over the money thing. You just do what needs to be done, and enjoy your time and family as often as you can!
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
19 Jan 07
I do not think that it is the duty of a man to take care of the woman. i think BOTH should provide to the hosehold with both money and work. Me and my bf both work fulltime and we both do the hosework at home and all that itincludes. I would never wanna go home and let my man support me... That would make ME feel useless!
1 person likes this
@frndzb4 (131)
19 Jan 07
I think it depends what kind of understanding you have ... these days life styles are changing so fast and its not bad if husband is doing household job .. look its equally tough for a man to handle home affaires .. so when he can sacrifice himself by doing the house job then why can't a wife work to support her family financially !! You should appreciate that atleast he is taking care of home .. but yes its definitely a shame if he's not contributing his efforts at home too & sitting just idle :(
1 person likes this