Am I committing a sin?
By earth2jacq
@earth2jacq (1502)
Philippines
February 21, 2007 8:59pm CST
I am now 27 years old. For 9 months now I had been lying to my parents. I never told them that I am semi-living in with a special someone. I said "semi-living in" because I still go home to our parent's house on weekednds I say with this someone for only 4-5 days a week in a an apartment that we share. I have waited for this special someone for so long so that when he came to me I could not say no to him. Actually he is married, have two kids but he is separated from his wife for 10 years now.His wife left him for another man and been with that man eversince. His kids are with his ex-wife and visits him every Sundays only.
10 people like this
59 responses
@weee_ann (1453)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Let's admit it that lying is a sin. But in your case, you should be honest with your parents. You are old enough to stand for yourself. Lying will create a very bad image of you. If you love that special someone. Be proud of telling your love ones you are together. But you should believe in marriage too.
2 people like this
@natassidog (33)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
its not a sin really.. its just you parents would not be happy if they will know it in other person.. its like you have broken their trust or something keeping a secret to them, keeping something that they should know.
maybe you think that your parents would not accept the girl..
@contuletz2007 (734)
• Romania
22 Feb 07
i agree. my parents are just the same nothing has ever made them happy from all the things i have done. especially my relationship...but as a proof that i don't guide my life after their opinions,let me tell you that we are planning to get married next summer. because that's what WE want.
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Are you commiting a sin? I guess that would all depend on what goes on. It sound to me you are more living a lie then commiting a sin. I do go for the whole sin stuff so i might be the wrong one to comment on this.
1 person likes this
@easywork (14)
• Canada
22 Feb 07
First of all - no one can judge you - and you are the only one that can say whether or not you are living in sin.
I only have 2 concerns about your situation:
1. Where do you tell your parents you are Monday through Friday? What's the difference? They obviously know you are not coming home so you're sleeping somewhere else during the week?
Why not just tell them?
Also - your man is 10 years separated! He's NOT legally divorced - which means he can never marry you - or commit to you in anyway thats legal? Do you guys SPLIT the cost of your living expenses? Are you dependent on him or is he dependent on you? Have his children met you? Who does he tell his children you are? A "friend" or roommate? Does his wife know about you like you know about her?
At 27 years old - you should know where this is going - even if he is the most wonderful man in the world - you seem bothered by the way you are living and the first person you have to justify is the one in the mirror.
Questions you should ask yourself:
What if he NEVER grants his wife a divorce - are you going to spend the rest of your life waiting?
Why is their divorce taking 10 years to finalize? Is it for financial reasons? Do him and his wife have a friendly relationship or is it bitter?
Your parents will support you no matter what - most parents bark and scream but eventually they come around. They only want to see their children happy. You should FIRST discuss your future with your man and THEN think about telling your parents.
Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@sheila0406 (16)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
why not just tell your parents about it. you are old enough to have your own life. unless they are the strict kind of parents who wouldnt accept it. someday, if u kept on hiding your relationship it will become the reason for your fight with your man because it will kept on bothering your conscience. and much better to tell it to your parents now than they will know it from someone else, at least you can explain your side why you have done it. good luck :)
2 people like this
@bluekisses06 (140)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
In my opinion, yeah you are committing sin for you have lied in your parents. The best thing you should do is to tell everything to your parents. If they really love you, they will surely understand you and guide both of you. It's very hard to live if you are lying with your parents for the rest of your life.. You can't escape that so u better face it as early as possible to avoid further complications with your parents. Think of this, "put your self in the shoes of your parents??" how does it feel if someone you loved was lying with you for a long time...u don't want others to do that to you so u better not to do that with others too espcially with your parents...
1 person likes this
@tag1982 (30)
• United States
22 Feb 07
That doesn't sound sinful. The most important thing should be the happiness of you and your love. As for him being married, a lot of people stay married but are through with the relationship do this for financial reasons. Hopefully there is a lot of open communication between you two about this.
2 people like this
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
17 Mar 10
Let say that lying is not a nice thing. I do believe that honesty is the best policy. perhaps they won't approve of your actions. Perhaps they are tradition and have different values from your own. I don't think that living with a separated person is bad, especially if his wife has left him. I hope that this guy is honest with you and trustworthy and that he is treating you nice. I hope that you ll be able to bring this subject with your parents and tell them how you feel about this special person.
@rsa101 (37968)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
If you are a religious catholic filipino person I would have to say you are committing a sin. First because you are living in with a person who is married with kids although he is separated from his wife. It is better to consult a lawyer if the marriage could be annulled so that the two of you could start your own family. Secondly you admitted lying with your parents then that is another sin. I could understand that you don't want to disappoint your parents regarding your decision to have an affair with a separated guy. But I guess your parents would accept him more lightly if he would make a move to make it possible for him to marry you.
I am not putting you down or anything but to make things clean its better that the guy would do a move that is acceptable to the norms that you parents would be agreeable to you. It would be such lighter and easier for you to announce to your parents that isn't it?
1 person likes this
@tridelthanna (63)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I dont think its really sinning, but you should probablt tell ur parents soon, i think it would make ur life so much easier!
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
22 Feb 07
You are 27...you don't need to worry about your parents. I know that it is hard, is he getting a divorce? Do you know for sure that he is no longer with his wife? If so that I wouldn't worry about it. Try and be honest with your parents, I know it will be hard, but try. You will feel better not lying to them all the time. Where do they thing you are when you are with him? Enjoy the man that loves you!!
1 person likes this
@mikeashiyna (170)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
you are old enough to be understood by your parents secondly you could already make your own decision thirdly if he is laready seperated from his wife i dont see any problem arising from this you should be straight and honest with your parents
@aristotle517 (14)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
well, to lessen the offense you're just being dishonest. there's nothing better to do but tell your parents about the situation you are into right now. am sure they will not hate you for it but will appreciate it tremendously. by the way, am happy for you that you finally found somebody who makes you complete and contented.
@lovemydsdominik (282)
• United States
22 Feb 07
No judgement at all, but lying is a sin. Not that I haven't lied to my parents, I'm sure everyone has. I think that you should just be honest with them though, because you are an adult and are able to make your own decisions- even if they don't agree with them, I'm sure they will respect them =)
1 person likes this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
22 Feb 07
I believe that it is a sin to live with a married man. The Holy Bible also is against this practice.(Assuming that you are a christian) You are an adult and you you are free to make your own decisions, but if you want to live to please God, I think that you should try to get out of the living arrangement with a married man.I'm not going to tell you what to do, you probaly already have your mind set,it's just a suggestion. If you are still not sure if it is a sin or not go to church or call a minister and ask him what he thinks about your living situation. Then you decide what's best for you.
@zfbingo1 (31)
• United States
22 Feb 07
Your a grown woman! you shouldn't have to lie to your parents about who you live with, As far as your man being married why hasn't he gotten a divorce after so long? If both parties agree to the divorce it doesn't cost much they can go to the court and do it themselves without a lawyer. As far as a sin the bible says both lying and fornication are sins so yes you are in that sense if you believe in the bible. Remember you can't have a complete relationship with a married man cause until he's divorced legally he still belongs to someone else. I hope everything works out for you and your happy good luck!
@nishanity (1650)
• India
23 Feb 07
"Semi=living" with a person aint a sin buddy!!
but lying to the parents who took care of u for so many yeard is definitely a sin!!
they have to knwo this someday! and its better when they hear it from you!!
why are u scared to tell them anyways??? after all he is separated from his wife for so many years!!
its not difficult to mrry him right?
@earnwhilelearn (269)
• India
22 Feb 07
there is no sin in living with other person if he also loves you as much as you love him. however parents have been there with you for 27 years and he has been with you only for few years. your parents have stayed with you as a pillar in all grave situations. so i think that your parents will certainly understand your love if you explain them properly. might be it will take some time, but it will certainly happen. so i suggest you to tell everything to your parents.
@x1x2x3 (152)
• India
22 Feb 07
well. Its definitely not sin but no doubt its wrong. Its does not make sense that u r lieing to ur parents. Thats does not affect much. But the thing is u r doing wrong. Like there is no future of such a relationship. Once in a while or once in a week is OK, u can manage that. But 4-5 days in a week, its like inviting problem for urself. What will happen when this will come to ur parents. They will be shocked. If u have the courage , meet kids of that man. That will give u satisfaction and self respect . U r thinking its a sin bcoz u r guily. Dont think so. Its not sin , but its wrong, wrong for u.
@sugarlen (138)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
If you are a Catholic, definitely you are committing a sin. HOnestly, most married men rationalizes their guilt of being left by wife for another man. But if you dig deeper into their lives whose fault really was it after all. It always takes two to a relationship. Sometimes, we women pity men with failed relationships and think that we are much better than the women they had so we can make the new relationship last. 9 months still a far cry... you will know why things happen as you go on with this kind of relationship... if it fails later, then let it be an experience so that you will do it better the next time. Of course, I am not telling you will not succeed in making this relationship last. It is actually how you handle the whole situation to make this kind of relationship really work.
