My Neice is Being Harassed by a Sub-Teacher at School.....

@all4ucnc (861)
United States
March 12, 2007 11:32am CST
My neice is a senior this year, she has been dating this guy for 3years......The last couple years their's been a Sub that works at the school periodically. Well when ever she is there it seems my neice is constantly being sent to principals office, for silly things..Like a month ago she asked to use the rest room, the sub agreed, and when my neice returned to class she was sent to office for taking too long...What?, it's been going on for a while,,,well a couple of weeks ago, my neice's boyfriend showed with a new car, she asked him (he graduated last year) "Wow! your mom finally help you get the down payment." No he replied ...Miss. Sub gave me the $5,000 I needed." I realise that he's not in school anymore, but what is a sub-teacher doing giving an ex-student $5,000 dollars...My neice was less than happy, and confused. He denied having a relationship with her, but admitted that they had been emailing each other for some time, and said that she's been giving him advice about my nieces behavior at school. Which explains why this teacher has been harassing my neice.(Miss. Sub has a thing for my neices boyfriend) .....They have recently broken up, but this teacher still seems to be bitter. Doesn't this seem wrong?, The school says as long as he's not a student, but she's medalling into my neices affairs, and emailing about her, and she IS a student.
3 people like this
19 responses
• United States
12 Mar 07
I have a question. How old is the SUB?? It does sound like your niece is getting harrassed. Sometimes if you don't complain enough about a situation than the school will just ignore your concerns. I would start by telling the principal or superintendant that the subs behavior is unethical, and you are wondering why she is allowed to keep it up? Is their anyone else that can help back up your nieces story? It may help in the long run.
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
12 Mar 07
The sub is quite youge she graduated from collage I guess only 3 years ago, so she must be in her mid-twenty's
1 person likes this
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
12 Mar 07
They also told my mom that my neice is probably jeolous because her boyfriend is the sub hit it so well, and she's probably imagining the whole thing.
1 person likes this
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I would go past the school if they are not of assistance and talk to the school board. I would say if the sub is not acting rational for any student then that sub does not belong in that school system what so ever. I have to agree that it is odd that a sub is giving a past student a loan. If it was my daughter I would have been on the phone until I got a response from the school that assured me this behavior was going to be addressed and then I would have put it in writing. I would certainly question any sub that treats a child unfairly. Heck the principal should be wondering why the child has to go to him everytime that sub is there. Very odd I wish you the best of luck on this one.
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
12 Mar 07
My mom is raising her, and she has contacted both the principal, and the school board....And they say that it's alright as long as he's not attending the school. And they told my neice to hang in there, after all The Sub is only there maybe once a month, and my neice will be gradualting soon....But it still seems sooo wrong.
2 people like this
• Ireland
13 Mar 07
Don't let this one go, it will be harder to do anything about it after your daughter has left school. A teacher should not be discussing the students at all but especially not with someone she had been in a relationship with. Did the sub meet your daughter's ex at school? It sounds like the e-mailing went on for quite a while if she managed to build up enough of a relationship with him to give him such a large sum of money. Your daughter is basically being bullied by a person in authority who has a personal agenda. I wouldn't stand for this. If the people in charge won't help then maybe you should talk to a newspaper or at least tell them you will. There has to be SOMETHING that can be done, complaints have to be dealt with. Keep going higher up until somebody listens to you because it isn't normal that they wouldn't even look into the situation. This sub cannot be allowed to get away with it and I don't think she should be teaching young people either. Good luck with the whole thing and I hope your daughter is ok and this gets sorted soon. It would be really helpful if you could get your hands on some of those emails!
• Ireland
13 Mar 07
Oops, meant niece :/
• Canada
12 Mar 07
If I was your mom, I would let the school principal know and also give the principal a heads up to let them know that she's going directly to the School board. This situation cannot be allowed to go any further! I get the strangest feeling that the Principal really didn't get in touch with the School Board because they would have investigated this claim like they do with any other. Encourage your mom to contact the board herself and put in a complaint both about the sub teacher AND the Principal for being so blase about it all. A sub teacher should not be handing out money to ex students, and certainly not one that only graduated last year. Nor should she be giving our information about any of her students, OR harrassing her in class OR medelling in your niece's affairs. This is WRONG!
2 people like this
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
12 Mar 07
My mom has gone to both the principal and the school board, but they say he's no longer a student, so it's no big deal, and my neice is imagining the hassasment due to the relationship breaking up. But she was bothered by it before she even knew of the relationship between herbf and sub. And complaints were filed then,,,but oops, they seem to have disapeared.
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I would report this situation to the School Board, principal and other school officials. I would also talk to other parents and compare notes with them. It is possible this teacher has been doing to others what she has been doing to your child. If nothing else, Notify the Board of Education. This is something that I like you would be very concerned about.
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I think they are more worried about dragging the school name through the mud, instead of what is best for the students, So they have told my neice to just hang in there because she'll be graduating in a few months.
• United States
12 Mar 07
Hi! I have an education degree, and I can tell you that if this substitute teacher is discussing your neice's so-called "behavior" with your neice's ex, this is highly unethical. She could be called on this aspect of the situation, if nothing else. Best of luck to you and your neice! Nobody should have to put up with harassment from a teacher in any form!!
2 people like this
• United States
12 Mar 07
That definitely seems like a form of harrasment and it should be taken care of. If she's being sent to the office for trivial matters and with the teacher emailing her bf, there's definitely something there that isn't right. This woman is picking on her because she can and because there seems to be something with the boy that she's interested in. Maybe she wants the boy, but is bitter because she's in the way, so she's harrassing her to make her feel better and try to get her out of the way. I think matters should be pressed farther with the school. Go to the school board and talk to them about it. Something needs to be done.
2 people like this
@sharon613 (2324)
• United States
12 Mar 07
This is definately wrong and I suggest you get in contact with the proper authority or higher up and see about getting her fired. If she should continue it well might be likely for you to confront her and let her know what she is doing is completely wrong and she had better look to quit while she's ahead.
2 people like this
• Canada
12 Mar 07
Write a letter to the schoool district and explain what youhave observed and what you are seeing. Shwo in your letter the pattern of behavior that when this person is subbing your daughter get in trouble with only her no one else. If she had or has a thing for neices ex b/f whiel he was a student then she still can be introuble for it.
1 person likes this
@all4ucnc (861)
• United States
12 Mar 07
Right now my mom has hired someone to come in and retreive the emails that had come from the Sub., because he usually checked his emails with my neice on my mom's computer, and since my neices name is used in just about everyone of them, they are trying to see if they retrieve at least one of the emails. Because right now the school thinks my neice is just upset about her relationship ending.
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Mar 07
That is terrible the one who is innocent has to prove it.
• United States
13 Mar 07
You guys need to be WAY more adament about this. If this woman is already treating people like this, how do you think its going to end up when she does/ if she does become a teacher? In my highschool year I had a sub that tried to refuse me to go to the bathroom because the bell had just rung, i asked politely to go and she told me to wait five minutes i said it was an emergency and she said she didnt care. I was a Advance diploma student in a special program to become a teacher, and afterschool taught 1st grade my senior year, i only left class 3 times that WHOLE year and only because of emergencies any other person who knew me would allow me but this sub was horrible. she didnt give a damn about anyone, and i was wearing white pants and had started my period so in my teacher cadet class i finally gave up and said "I have just started my period and if i cant go to the bathroom i am going to bleed through my pants!" she got so 'disgusted' by me saying that specially since we had two boys in the class that she started to scream at me about how disgusting i was and rude.... so what happend? i called my mom, who if anyone has ever met her KNOWS not to mess with her shes like a mother bear with a cub, she called the principle, the teacher, the assistant principle, and the school board and lets just say she wont ever find a job in that school again.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
Good on you, Beauty! I would have stood up and applauded you, had I been there!! YAY for you!!! :D
• United States
13 Mar 07
It sounds like her ex boyfiend and the sub were having an affair for sure. That is just my opinion. I would take it up the line, to see if you can do something about the treatment your niece has been having from this sub.
1 person likes this
@onesiobhan (1330)
• Canada
12 Mar 07
I would definitely be concerned about inappropriate behaviour. If the principal won't help you, go to the superintendent.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Mar 07
If you try going to the school board and they still do nothing, go to the police. That is harrassment and it's wrong. Also talk to a local paper about it, I'm sure they'll be happy to put the schools name through the mud. As long as your mom is willing to let your neice talk about it. I would also suggest going to a lawyer and letting them know, you can sue the school and the teacher for slander, harrassment and mental stress.
• United States
13 Mar 07
In order to do much to her, you have to be able to prove she did something inappropriate in regards to a current student. Taking the example of the trip to the bathroom she said took to long. The school likely has a policy manual, which informs teachers how long it should take students to go to the bathroom. Although they may not let students know about it. If a student goes over that time, there is a technical violation of the rules, which a sub. teacher can use in that way if they want to. Where do you get slander, to which truth is a complete defense. Harrasment which requires clearly inappropriate actions. Mental stress, would almost always require some other injury or claim to go with it.
• United States
14 Mar 07
First of all I stated that they need to contact a lawyer, because they will know exactly what can be done. The only reasion I stated that they can sue for these reasions is because someone I know did! They were in a similer situation, except it was not a sub, and the teacher liked her older brother, who didn't like her. Luckly she had her older brothers help because the teacher told her brother things about her that were not true. an example of slander would be me telling people that you have stole money, killed someone, stalked someone, when you didn't. mental stress can be used because she has to deal with this teacher, even if it's only sometimes. That is very hard for a young person to deal with and I have no idea why the school doesn't see that. harrassment, might not come into play unless she has openly said something to her that makes her uncomfortable. ANYTHING said or done by a person that makes someone feel uncomfortable can be a form of harassment. I really think that schools try to get away with not dealing with these problems, because they think all there students and parents have no clue. Learn laws and use them to help you when you need it.
@monet0077 (156)
• United States
13 Mar 07
Well, if the Principal and the school board won't do anything about it, I think your mom should have a little talk with the Sub herself. As a concerned parent she has every right to get an explaination directly from the teacher as to why your niece is being treated this way. It could diffuse the situation if the Sub had to deal with another adult one on one. If not, I hope you can retreive those e-mails, and I'm sure there is something legal you can do. Just because your niece is a student doesn't mean she doesn't have any rights.
@jcgbrains (139)
• United States
13 Mar 07
In the end, it is about what you can prove. While there are a number of things she is doing in regards to an ex-student unless you can prove she is doing something, in regards to your neice, which violates school policy then there is nothing you or the school can do about it.
@ten010 (81)
• India
13 Mar 07
It is really a awkward event and particularly unfortunate as it happened to your niece. The little person is really in a mental turbulence. But at the same time there is old saying that states everything is fare in love and .......... So is the thing. The lady teacher may have some relation with your niece's ex and now she has every right to have her love in her side, now there are other moral issues as well. Like wouldnot it be better if she had sacrificed for the sake of her student. But, probably not this time. Hope your niece come out of this bad incident and head away to future. The world just donot stop at one point and all of you should try to confide in her ability to look forward. Hope she had a wonderful and never ending relationship with another honest and good person in very very near future. All my wished with the little angel.
• United States
13 Mar 07
You know, I do not care if he is a student or not, this is not about him, it is about your neice who IS a student. I think if the school board didn't do anything about it, I would contact a reporter and tell them about this. Neither the school board or the teacher would want that kind of publicity...this would be with your neice's approval of course
@divir_vij (1593)
• India
13 Mar 07
Wether he eccepts or not but they are indded having some affair. Its fgoolish to say that she game him $ 5000 without any other intentions.
• India
13 Mar 07
This is too bad.I have come across this kind of case for the first time.I think the bast option is to change the school.This would defnately help.
@earth2jacq (1503)
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
I think that this sub-teacher is insecure wtih your niece. Her exboyfriend cannot be trusted either. Who in their right mind would give $5,000 to anyone who is even not her boyfriend. Since your niece is already is senior year it make it more difficult because she could be threated about graduating...I think the best thing to do here is to report this sub-teacher to the right school authority. But your niece should gather enough concrete evidence to support her claims. And do tell your niece to jsut forget about the ex boyfriend...he is not worth it.