I can't do that alone!

@winterose (39918)
Canada
April 1, 2007 4:22pm CST
I have a friend that will get up and do whatever she wants and doesn't worry about anyone coming with her. She will go to the movies by herself, travel by herself and even relocate. I always preferred to have a friend come along. I only went to the movies once alone, I really didn't enjoy it. Would you do the things you like to do alone, or do you wait for a friend, and if there is no friend, then you end up not doing it?
11 people like this
30 responses
@Stiletto (4584)
2 Apr 07
I have a friend like that too who, if she wants to do something she just does it whether she has company or not. She goes to the movies, restaurants, bars, social functions and on holiday by herself if no-one else wants to go. Some people actually think she's weird but I really admire her for that kind of self-sufficiency. I'd love to be like that but I'm not. I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to that kind of thing. It's only in the last few years that I will walk into a bar by myself. I would never do that before even if I was meeting people - they would have to meet me outside! I sometimes have to travel alone on business and that doesn't bother me but I can't imagine going away on holiday by myself. I have gone to a restaurant myself on a couple of occasions when I've been away on business but I hated it - I felt so uncomfortable. I just had this feeling that everyone thought I'd been stood up by my date!
3 people like this
• Canada
2 Apr 07
Stiletto, I too had to travel on business. Don't feel uncomfortable going alone to a restaurant. Take the newspaper, a book, documents that you want to review with you. When walking in be very self-confident and if they offer you the worst table, smile sweetly and suggest another table. Look, around you and you will a lot of business men also eating alone and no one thinks anything of it, so it should be the same for you.
3 people like this
@Stiletto (4584)
2 Apr 07
I know - I see men eating alone in restaurants all the time. I get annoyed with myself for being so spineless about it so I will give it another try and will take something to read next time. I think that probably would help me feel a bit less self-conscious. Thanks for your advice.
1 person likes this
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
2 Apr 07
A lot of women seem to feel they have to have a friend along to share whatever they are doing. Maybe it is conditioning or maybe it is a matter of safety. In this respect there is a real difference between men and women. A man would not phone another male friend and say:"I am going to the hardware store to buy a new drill, do you want to come along"? but a woman will phone a friend and say "I am going shopping for shoes, do you want to come along"?I am female and I travel alone. It is more expensive because the single supplement is so high, but I don't like to share a room and I also meet many interesting people on trips and never feel alone. I go to the movies, museums and art galleries by myself and with friends. I enjoy the company of friends but if no one is interested or has time, it does not stop me from doing what I want to do. Eating in restaurants by myself is a little more tricky. I have to make sure I have a book along or the newspaper. It is also annoying at times since a single woman gets to get directed to the worst table in the house. You see men eating alone in restaurants and no one bats an eye but a woman alone is regarded differently. I guess because fewer women do it.
• Canada
1 Apr 07
I don't enjoy doing things on my own and will usually find someone to come with me . When I have to go by myself it makes for a long and boring day as when you have someone to talk to the time passes by faster and you have someone to talk to and to keep you company . If I couldn't find someone to come with me , no matter how much I wanted to go , I wouldn't do it as I wouldn't have fun if I was alone . I am so used to having people around all the time and don't like being by myself when I am trying to have a good time unless I am looking for some alone time :)
3 people like this
@judyt00 (3504)
• Canada
1 Apr 07
I do things alone all the time. if i don't I will never do them. Last spring I went to LasVegas by myself when the two girls I was going with backed out. I got tired of sitting at home watching reruns on tv while everybody else did things with their spouses or lovers.
2 people like this
@KarenO52 (2951)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I would have done the same thing.
@mickidmw (992)
• United States
2 Apr 07
Wow, you do nothing alone? I prefer to do things alone. No one to rush you, hold you up or anything. Going to a movie alone is cool. Peace and quiet, no one interupting the good parts with their comments, cheaper that way too.
2 people like this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
2 Apr 07
Hi Winterose. I am in that exact position, and I have no problem on my own, I have traveled to Mexico twice, Vegas, Toronto. I have packed up and moved 8 times since 1989 when I got my divorce, as well as several time before when I was separated in 1982 I would say 99% of the time I am on my own. and that is by my choice. I go to shows, shopping, by myself I do not even think twice about it, Because I learned a long time ago, If you wait for some one to: come with, invite you, You will never go any where you want. I had amazing times on my Vacations back when I could afford them I did what I wanted and saw what i wanted and my time and my choice was my own. For me the only way to go. Now because I can not afford to go the only time I go on sort of a vacation is when I go to visit my son, and then it is all about them I Have to wait on them I asked my dil. if we could take the bus to the mall(she doesn't drive) and she was horrified, no we had to wait for my son, Who works from 6:am to 6:pm . A week is the most of that I can take. No I love going by myself. wouldn't change it for anything
• United States
2 Apr 07
well when i usually go out i always have a friend.but if my friend cant make it dont mean i wont go out still.it dont take a friend all the time to do something.
2 people like this
@casasn (33)
• United States
2 Apr 07
It is always better to share what we do with others but it is also great to learn how to be by ourselves. Try taking a walk by yourself first. Pick your favorite place and jot down how you feel about it. Then keep adding activities that you enjoy and do them alone, at least one day. If you have a pet, take it with you.Time alone is a great tool to think and get to know yourself better. Let me know how it goes. Best wishes.
@nanayangel (7839)
• Philippines
2 Apr 07
I prefer doing those kinds of stuff with company but if ever I'm left with no choice, I'm also okay with it. I wouldn't wanna be an inconvenience to other and if everybody's busy, I just enjoy the peace and quiet when you don't have to consider anyone else before making a decision. You can go wherever you go, eat where you wanna eat, and make decisions based about what you want. I have gone to watch movies by myself a lot of times before when I was in my third year of college. I have a class at 7:30 am until 8:30 pm. After that, my next class will be at 1:00 pm so I just go to the nearby mall first. Here in the Philippines, movie houses are open the same time that the mall does. So I'll watch a movie first before going back to school and I did that every Tuesday and Thursday for one whole semester. There are times that I enjoyed myself except when I am watching horror movies. It's okay to do that once in a while.
• United States
2 Apr 07
I used to do alot of stuff alone when I was single. I enjoyed not having to wait for someone and setting my own pace for the day. Now that I am married and have children, I would really enjoy it if I could get out alone and just enjoy some time to myself.
2 people like this
@whyaskq (7532)
• Singapore
2 Apr 07
I used to be like your friend, do whatever and anything I want at my own wish, and alone. I have rather happy with it until a particular day when I went to watch a movie alone. It was the last day and I tell myself, by hook or by crook, I need to watch it. And indeed I made it! When I left the theatre, a sad feeling overwhelmed me. Suddenly, I felt so alone and lonely. From that day onwards, I don't do things alone anymore. I still shop alone but I need company in eating, watching movies and travelling.
2 people like this
@rubypatson (1842)
• India
2 Apr 07
I can never go to movies by myself, but i can travel alone although i do prefer company
2 people like this
• United States
2 Apr 07
For me, it depends on what it is that I want to do. There are a lot of things that I am learning to do on my own. I had to travel on my own and since I was staying in a hotel I had to eat out at restaraunts on my own. I also went to the movies and site seeing on my own. I prefer to do things with my family or friends, but now I know that if I have to I can do things on my own as well. I know that I will not be able to travel with my husband because unless I want to drive everywhere he won't go. He refuses to fly.
@marlyse (1056)
• Switzerland
2 Apr 07
i always did things alone. all friends where welcome, but i didnt stop traveling or other things just because noone was here. it depends what you are used to do since childhood. ive made lots of good experiences my life long and many good friends. i never regretted it to go alone
• China
2 Apr 07
When loneness becomes a habit, it doesn't matter for one to do anything by himself just like me. I like being alone and think alone. I like writing, of course, in Chinese, what I think. Even when I have my girlfriend, I am also myself. As to friend, no friend is a pity. I just chat with them on phone often. But that is not say, I have to do things together with them.
@knajay (26)
2 Apr 07
I too agree for some extent that alone is quite bore like going to movies but i like to alone to hilly regions temples or places where calmness we need
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
2 Apr 07
Its nice to be independent, and I like the idea of your friend being every inch of that, it's really admirable. Personally, I don't think I can relocate alone. I tried going to the movies by myself, and just like you, I didn't enjoy it. I tried travelling through plane alone for 10 hours, and its the most boring flight I ever did. I like to do most things with friends or family, it's more fun that way. I have one exception though, I like to be alone when it comes to shopping. I don't like the whole 'waiting-for-each-other' whenever I'm with somebody. Most of the time they give up waiting for me because I can go malling all day long without food and rest! lol That's what I consider my most independent moment. :)
@Grandmaof2 (7603)
• Canada
2 Apr 07
I actually like time to be alone sometime. This is where my husband had a hard time in the beginning of our marriage. He often told me I didn't have to do things alone any more, and I was firm by letting him know I didn't feel as though we had to joined at the hip. I could very easily go to a movie by myself, I would never go to a bar, lounge/tavern by myself but I also don't go drinking anyway. Take care
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
1 Apr 07
It depends on what it is. I prefer to have company - but have been known to do things alone. For example, I saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show in an empty theater - first run, before all the midnight madness!
2 people like this
@crackhead (1826)
• India
1 Apr 07
I cant do things alone like your friend does. I am almost of your kind, I need someone's company to watch a movie , Study, Work and even to go out on shopping. Once i was alone in a theatre and the movie was kinda boring which i felt like i am no where and had to rush back home in the middle of the movie cause i hated being alone there watching that kind of movie. It was a bit sentimental movie which makes ladies cry(gents won't cry though they feel like). hehe kidding no offense.
2 people like this