Abusive realtionships...Have you ever been in one? Did you stay or leave? What

Oh my! Please forgive me. My apologies for starting a discussion much like yours. I used the search, but nothing came up. I too was in an abusive relationship. I left when he threatened to kill me. I know if I did not leave that night he would have.

Yes, sadly I was in an abusive relationship for five years, looking back I wish it had of been physical but it wasn't, the abuse was mental which is harder and more difficult to come to terms with and live with. I was used, abused, manipulated and controlled. I had a mental breakdown at work and was diagnosed with depression. It has put me off relationships for life, especially as I jumped from one bad relationship to get away from the abuse straight into another one! Frying pan into the fire scenario. 9 years of my life I have wasted. Is it any wonder I want to be single for the rest of my natural?

The final straw after 5 years in an abusive relationship was losing my son to a child protection agency due to the fact that his father was a child molestor. He was quite abusive towards me but kept saying that I couldn't survive without him. For 5 years I believed that. Then I wised up and moved on. The guy still finds ways to try to put me down, 4 years after I got rid of him.

I have been there and done that, It was not a physical , but mental and verbal, And I stuck it out for about 18 years, Every day I would hope , wish, and pray that he would change, as like you I believed if I worked harder he would see that this was good, but no it was just more knowledge to keep me under his thumb. How did I get out, He didn't believe in working himself, so I had to support the family, and he found me a job 300 miles away, I worked and sent all but 180 a month home. I slipped and fell and broke my wrist and had to return home, But the worm had turned I had found out that I wasn't stupid , Lazy, useless, a lousy wife, mother person. And that is when I started to make plans, It didn't happen over night, but the day came when he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I said a divorce, he thought I was joking, when I said no I am very serious, He got even worse , I would never last a month on my own, I would be on welfare in 6 weeks etc. I moved out and found my own little place, but believe it or not I supported him until the kids were out on their own, He still can not believe that I would do that to him as I never had a reason. He is living off some other poor lady now, but will not marry her because I might come to my senses, I left him in 1980. Now there is some on who is not living in a reality.

Hi, I've been through two abusive relationships, the first I stayed because I had no-one to help me get out. I was 200 miles away from my friends and family and just couldn't get rid of him. The final straw was when my then 7 year old daughter said to me 'get the police mommy' when he had hurt me quite badly, then I realised what the effect was on her and managed with the help of some guys to get rid of him out of my house and life. The second time was a little different and a long story but suffice to say it didn't last long once he raised his fists.

I think you should leave him as early as possible.I have read a book in which it is said;men can not be changed.It is true,like someone who is indulged in gambling.And i have heard many news about women who is abused ,beaten by their husband. I just don't know why they keep on live with this kind of person. I do think women should know how to emancipate themselves. I support you,you should leave this kind of man.

I'm not sure how I missed this one when you first posted it so sorry for the late response! My ex-husband was also abusive at times. It was such a hard situation because on one hand he was my childhood/high school sweetheart but on the other hand he had turned into an uncontrollable monster that would lash out for what seemed like no reason. It started 2 months after our son was born and at first I went through that phase of "if he does it again, I'll leave" but of course he did it again and I realized that I was 19 years old with 2 little ones and no money...how could I leave? So it continued off and on until I got pregnant with our daughter. Thankfully he was smart enough to be good to me while I was pregnant but started up again just 2 weeks after she was born! So I let it go on for a few more months, enlisted the help of a good friend and got us out of there. He's apologized many times since and acknowledged that his drinking had gotten out of control. He says I was good to him and didn't deserve everything he did. It's sad in a way that our relationship ended that way but it got me to where I am know. I look at my 3 younger boys with my s/o and am thankful for every moment that destroyed my marriage to my ex. Oh, what was the final straw? When he helped a "friend" leave her abusive boyfriend and came home mad at me for being upset about him being gone.