Teenage troubles - A beam of light is showing!!!
By mummymo
@mummymo (23706)
April 9, 2007 5:00pm CST
I had the perfect family; a loving partner and 2 gorgeous kids, a son and a daughter. Both my kids were a delight to be around and i was so proud of them both until one day something awful happened ......yes, that's right - my son turned 13! In the eight months since this happened we have been through many troubles and situations that have driven the whole family to the point of insanity!!!! Luckily he has still been a pleasure and doing well at school whereas at home I could quite happily have given him to the circus a lot of times!!! He lies to us and tries to manipulate us constantly, pick on his 5 yr old sister (who he adores!), has temper tantrums and displays of attitude that a punk rock star would be proud of! I am a great believer in being open with my kids and we talk ...a LOT! Today for the first time in months I actually feel I have gotten through to him! One of my bugbears is personal responsibility and lately he has made a career out of blaming anything that happens on everyone around him! Today after yet another row and then a long discussion he went out for a walk and came home a different boy! I am not naive to think this will last for ever but my son was really here all day and it was so wonderful - I know the teenage outburst won't disappear but as long as I still get to spend time with the boy I know and love i know I can come out the other side!
7 people like this
25 responses
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Oh no-- sounds like the terrible teenager years-- Do you remember them?
My daughter is 10-- and I tell you she is so moody- that I think she is a teenager already-
Hang tight and tough with your son-- With your open relationship and with you being involved in his life hopefully he will turn out great! Sounds like you're doing a great job- Keep it up-
I can hardly wait for the teenage years!
@judyt00 (3497)
• Canada
9 Apr 07
Welcome to the hell of the teenaged years. He will need discipline and restrictions now more than ever, because now, he is no longer afraid of YOU. If it helps any, it only lasts until they are out of college, or have kids of their own, which ever comes first.
2 people like this
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
9 Apr 07
I can really relate to your story. My son is 14 now...and I really seen a change when he hit around 12...13..He mood changed...and his attitude changed. I think that this is just another transitional period that we have to go through. It seems like they sometimes lose thier mind and don't know what they are doing...lol. I think that you are doing the right thing though. I try to spend a little time with my son too..just to talk and see what is going on in his life...it is important...you need to keep a connection and let them know that you are there for them....whatever they may be going through....good luck...
@emskoneko (805)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I'm stuck in my teenage years and they are pretty rough for me. I think the only hassle my parents get from me is how I'm maturing to be money hungry. But if I ever threw some attitude, my age wouldn't stop them from giving me a good spanking! I guess that's why I'm in fear of them. I also want allowance. :)
2 people like this
@zodgfamily (285)
• China
10 Apr 07
I admire your family very much.My family also has four members just like you..The difference is that I'm the son..hehe...Best wishes for you..
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
9 Apr 07
Oh the joys of teenagehood! He's turned into Kevin, "that's not fair" "don't wanna do that" bless! But hey, with a great, loving, supporting family around him, he'll be just fine. Of course they'll be lapses but he's got a warm home and a family who obviously think the world of him. He'll come to realize that he just wants to 'show off' and do what all teenagers like to do. Communication is the key, and so many families do not communicate, which causes break downs and no one will compromise. Good luck with son my great friend, he'll be just tickety boo.
2 people like this
@koikoikoi (1246)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Well this nowadays is bound to happen. But wow at 13. I'm not too sure about that.
1 person likes this
@fourmum (3)
•
10 Apr 07
God you have my sympathy.My son is 13 nearly 14 and has been going through the KEVIN stage for some time now.Our only line of communication is the occassional grunt.If its any consellation my daughter was the same at that age and she is now a wonderful thoughtful girl who I would not change for the world.So hang in there it does get better.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
10 Apr 07
oh my 13 the know it all stag in a kids life!
Just hang in there with him and let him know how much you do love him no matter what but if he makes a mistake he has to own up to it. And not blame others for it.
Some times all ya have to do is hug them and make then hug ya back and mean it. Ya know the difference.
And this worked for me one time I got so upset with the way my kids were acting toward me and everyone I started acting just like them screamming throwing a tantum and all they could do was stop and look at me as if I had lost my mind! But it worked when I told them thats exactly the wat they were doing and looked.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
10 Apr 07
My grandad used to say ' you can teach a student but you can't tell them much' in other words they already think they know everything and that their parents are totally thick! I would have loved to have seen their faces when you threw a tantrum! lol I always tell my kids I love them - no matter what! xxx
@kathy77 (7486)
• Australia
9 Apr 07
Oh yes those terrible teenage years they can be dreadful yesrs that we have to go through I really hated them as well. But you are lucky in some ways that he still did very good at school, what circus lol!! Oh yes they all try to pull the wool over our eyes as if we have never been a teenager ourselves. Yes well I bet that you will be happy when he is more mature and shows you respect and the real love that your son does have for you all.
@Strawberry_one (243)
• United States
10 Apr 07
Not all teenagers are like that but most of the time when a teen is lashing out like that it is because they are trying to adjust to the changes of maturity, puberty, more responsibilty. And it can become stressfull. They are just trying to come up with excuses to justify why they did something even if the truth is better then the lie told. Sometimes they arn't even sure themselves why they did something.
1 person likes this
@jennybeans (912)
• United States
10 Apr 07
This same evil consumed my daughter when she turned eleven. She's twelve now, and while she is generally a good kid, she is anything but well behaved at home. We talk to her a lot, one on one, or as her parental united front, and most of the time it helps for a couple hours... luckily sometimes a couple days, but most of the time she lies, sneaks things and refuses to take responsibility for any of her actions. It's so frustrating, but I know that as long as we don't give up on her, she won't give up on herself. Hang in there. :) You're not alone!
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Oh Honey...I'm sorry but I'm laughing...As you know I have more kids,older kids then you and I've been on the rollercoast you just got invited to ride many many times..Enjoy the sunny day Sweets because they are forcasting another storm in the future..
I know it's hard but the thing to warm the cold spots is that
1.it shows he is growing normally.
2.you will appreciate the sunny days so much more..
I'm glad you had a lovely day...you deserve it Sweets
Hugs
xoxox
@Melody1 (967)
• India
10 Apr 07
Teenage is the most turbulent of all the stages.We too went through it.Remember?
Boy or a girl,a teenager is a teenager and the outbursts inevitable.But continue being friends and patience and understanding can make you sail through the boisterous waves.
It can make their lives too a bit less trying during this phase.It's they who are undergoing the total overhauling of their emotional and physical being.
So long you mange to remain friends with them and they confide in you,there's nothing much to worry,mummymo.A harmless lie here and there doesn't matter much.
This whole scene is going to be replayed once again for me in 4-5 years and I'm bracing myself for it,hoping to sail through it as smoothly as we did with the elder one.
Goodluck to you and me.:-)
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
10 Apr 07
Mo I have been there but I have to admit that with my Boy it was not to bad it was more my Girl who was worse. But I have to be honest I think my Son must be going through it now lol it is hard to deal with as you say they become different Children
Love and Hugs to you xxx
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
10 Apr 07
discussions such as these are always welcome to mothers like me whose only son will soon step into his teenage years. i've been interacting with a lot of mothers like me and have tried to understand their evaluation of situations. its still wonderful that you can talk to your son, but for some mothers and teenage children the wall of distrust is already there. even i'm a great believer in being frank with my child but sometimes i sit back and ponder if i'm doing the right thing. i mean he's not old enough to understand situations in the right perspective and how am i to put it across without sounding like the typical mother? then again, too much of liberty at an early age, instills a false sense of importance in them which may boomerang at a later stage. sometims i'm soooo confused that i just let it be and hope for the best situations.
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
10 Apr 07
It's a total minefield isn't it! I know I am quite modern thinking in some ways and i would rather my son got the right information from me than pick up some of the ridiculous playground myths that go around,whilst I am still a stickler for manners and respect! Feel free to call on me anytime - I am much better with other peoples children than my own! lol xxx
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
10 Apr 07
I've always felt that children should come with a user manual hun. Unfortunately there are no guidance notes or manuals for teenagers - LOL
I remember when my son turned into a teenager with all the associated problems and difficulties. I also remember the ray of light in the gloom when he finally sat down and actually talk to me. He is now 21 years old and although he still gives me sleepless nights on occasion, he has turned from the rotten little teenage brat into a lovely, caring and well-mannered young man.
@Avonlisa (40)
•
10 Apr 07
Hi Mummymo,
Long time no see. How are you? I haven't got a teenage son (thankfully) but I can sympathise with you a bit because since my 5 year old girl started school, we have a different child living at home.
The rudeness, the attitude, her ignoring me, picking on her 2 year old brother.....its all too much for me, and as we are now on Easter Holidays she is driving me to absolute insanity, I have wanted to just walk out so many times!
Please tell me I haven't got this till she's a teenager or do they calm down again?
@mummymo (23706)
•
10 Apr 07
I can really sympathise lisa - my daughter is five too and she is the original Ms Attitude! She is really funny with it too so we have to let her away with some of it! lol My son was never like this in his life until he became a teenager so I can't really answer your question but like you I pray that it gets better with girls! Scholl starts back on Monday and I think mine will be left standing outside waiting for a few days the way they are going! lol xxx
@4cuteboys (4099)
• United States
10 Apr 07
All you can do is be consistant with him! If he breaks the rules, make sure to discipline him in the same way every time! That way he knows what to expect and would hopefully stop. My husband still does the blame game, and he is 33, so maybe some people don't outgrow that, but hopefully with some work, your boy will! Good luck!!
1 person likes this
@piropos (312)
• Philippines
10 Apr 07
I wish you good luck, lots of it. My eldest is a 9 year old girl, so if she would be anything like your son at 13, I should be preparing myself as soon as possible to be able to withstand such attitude. My second kid is a 7 year old boy, and I think I have already been experiencing what your are experiencing now with your 13 year old boy. He actually gets on my nerves every minute of the day and I sure pray a lot that he would not get worse by the time he is 13. But I know deep inside, all my kids are good and they would grow up as good citizens, and become good parents themselves, someday. I just have to be patient and show them that I love them no matter what they do or don't do at all.
