Should I get involved?

United States
April 10, 2007 1:08pm CST
I met someone online; we met through a message board that talked about celibacy; He mentioned that it was hard to meet a woman who had her own job, didn't have a lot of men and were celibate; I told him that I was celibate and that I had my own job. so we started communicating mostly on IM; we have talked about meeting up. I suggested meeting halfway because I had to go to another city to attend a funeral but told him that if he didn't wish to, it was alright. BTW, he is seventeen years younger than me; Any opinions?
9 people like this
29 responses
@aciddrop (798)
11 Apr 07
how do you feel for each other?do you like him or just take him as a friend?its always ok to meet up someone you think is nice and reliable.age gap shouldnt be considered as a problem.i met an online pal who is 10 years older than me(or more),and we had a good time talking and wandering,and now we still keep in touch.in ur case,i think if you both have known each other for a long time and chatted a lot,then you should go to meet him up.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Apr 07
Thanks aciddrop for your comments.
@marlyse (1056)
• Switzerland
10 Apr 07
what about meet him and see what happens? age doesnt really matter when both understand each other well. does he know the age difference? just try it and see. it doesnt hurt to meet and drink a coffe together and talk in real. maybe you gain a good friend or even more, maybe you see it was a waste of time. good luck
• United States
11 Apr 07
I wanted to meet him but wanted it to be a positive thing here and not pushing him to do it, so I told hiim it's ok.
• United States
24 Jul 07
Seventeen years younger? He is still legal, so I say do ya thing, Ms. Cougar. But if he's interested in you just because you're celibate.... yeah issues.
• United States
24 Jul 07
Well, the point is moot now because I haven't heard from him in months now, so I guess that tells me he got cold feet or something.
• Malaysia
11 Apr 07
wow.. he's younger than you by 17 years? that's alot.. but it's okay if you truly love him.. im not sure if im in the right topic.. i might read wrongly =) .. go on with what u feel u're comfortable with
• United States
11 Apr 07
You are on the right topic and place Charlestchan; thanks for your support.
@4cuteboys (4103)
• United States
11 Apr 07
Its up to you, but if you go, do it safely, Like meeting at a mall and keeping the visits at public places for awhile. I don't know, I guess if you feel comfortable with it, go ahead. Maybe take a friend along, or have a friend watch the situation from afar, just in case!
@4cuteboys (4103)
• United States
11 Apr 07
BTW the age thing shouldn't matter at all! Age is just a number!
• Singapore
11 Apr 07
age does not matter at all...go and meet him up and see how things go from there. Don't be so pressured into being involved into a long term thing...take it one step at a time. And if your concern is on the online stuff, don't! i met my bf from online too...and now, we're still in a very loving relationship and he's the best guy ever! Good Luck!
• United States
11 Apr 07
Thanks for the advice Euniceeleanor.
• New Zealand
11 Apr 07
Um...well, what did he say? Does he want to meet you? Do you feel like you might be in love with him? Is he interested in you? Its hard to say whether you should get involved with that little information.
• United States
11 Apr 07
I believe he is intrested in me; as for love, I can't say. We just want to meet at this point and see how it goes; I am 44 and he's 26.
@disvachic (10123)
• United States
11 Apr 07
I feel age is only a number.You both are grown and he is legal age so everything is okay with the age. I think meeting each other will be fine.I think you should meet in a public place where there are plenty of people and see where it goes from there.
• United States
11 Apr 07
Thanks Disvachic for your comments.
• Canada
10 Apr 07
That is entirely up to you, to be involved. BUt if he is that younger than you, i would seriously doubt it. As your tastes are most likely VERY VERY Different. I would seriously reconsider. Unless you are really deeply in love with this person or would wish to see them and be with them. BUt first i would consider meeting him face to face and actually get together just to know more about him.
• United States
11 Apr 07
JellyBeans, Thanks for your comment. This is really becoming a big discussion. Peace.
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
10 Apr 07
Oh I think that this maybe good but only to be friends seeing the age difference as it is a lot of years between the two of you but I think that maybe you could end up with something nice to chat about. But I do believe that he could find other woman with their own jobs. Good luck
• United States
11 Apr 07
Kathy, I appreciate it; I just want to see how that goes.
@Stiletto (4584)
10 Apr 07
There's no harm in meeting up with him as long as it's in a safe, public place. Seventeen years is quite an age difference but sometimes these things work out ok. If you get along well then that's all that matters really. Just be cautious and level-headed and see how it goes. If you do decide to meet him good luck - I hope it works out well.
• United States
11 Apr 07
Thanks Stiletto for the advice; nice shoes.
@34momma (13896)
• United States
10 Apr 07
I met my wonderful husband to be online. I think that anything is possible if you go into it with good intentions. if you go into it thinking and feeling good. knowing that you are grateful and happy for what you have. you never know, he could be the one. be grateful, but always be aware and listen to that little voice in your head
• United States
10 Apr 07
Thanks 34Momma, I really like your website as well btw. Will be in touch.
@Marie2473 (8523)
• Sweden
10 Apr 07
If u decide to meet him, just make sure that u meet him in a public place.. Maybe just for coffie or so. I have met alot of people from the internet, but always in public places and in some cases I am really thankful for that since some of them turned out to be great liers =) If u donĀ“t go you might regret it - so if he wants to - go for it... Just be safe!
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
17 Apr 07
Seventeen years younger wow! I do hope he's mature with his age gap with yours. Anyway meeting up for the first time would not be bad at all. Just be cautious enough becuase in the world of net it's really hard to find someone you can really trust. There are plenty of pretentious people on the net. But then I could be wrong that is why you have to meet him so that you could know.
@Woodpigeon (3710)
• Ireland
17 Apr 07
I am so paranoid I would be really cautious about doing something like this. I guess I would have a hard time trusting someone I had met online. If you are going to go through with it, I would make it a very public meeting, and keep it public even if it seems fine.
@kkerix (403)
• United States
11 Apr 07
might be a good thing, but seventeen years, you could be his mother. my in laws on my wifes side are like that. my wifes mother is 62, and her husband is our age mid 40s, i always laugh about it, what will happen when she becomes, well you know what happens to all of us. i think unless you are only in it for fun, that you should not get involved. if it is just for fun, well go have fun a young guy like that probably do you good, lol. mahalo, oahu lopaka
@Drakhan (241)
• United States
11 Apr 07
My girlfriend is 17 years younger than I am and most of our relationship takes place online and on the phone. I can't see anything wrong with that. I think maybe it's time to admit that with cell phones and the Internet, virtual relationship are just as valid as physical ones. One of my best friends is a person I've never met in person. My girlfriend and I are doing the long distance relationship thing online and on the phone while she's in college. As a freelance writer, I've worked for a couple of editors for years and become quite good friends even though all our communication has been via e-mail, snail mail and phone. So, really, I'd say there's nothing wrong with meeting this guy as long as you take the necessary safe and sane precautions. Good luck. It could work out for you.
@pillze (118)
• Romania
11 Apr 07
first of all, i want to say to you that i don't think that age is that important. for instance, my dad is 18 years older than mom and till now that wasn't a problem at all. and you got nothing to lose if you meet him, so why not?:) good luck and take care
• United States
11 Apr 07
You need to go with your heart, but remember most men will say anything just for the opportunity to meet women, I remember this well from my dating days. Since he is the one wanting to meet I would have him come to you, if he wants to meet you badly enough he can handle this, besides why go out of your way when it is him that is wanting to meet you. Secondly, get a picture before meeting, don't just take his description on what he looks like, personal description can be deceiving. Besure when you are getting ready to meet him you tell a friend where you are going and take a cell phone with you, you might need it if you have a bad experience meeting him. Good luck
11 Apr 07
There is nothing wrong with meeting as long as you are sensible about it and know what both parties expect of the meeting. As for age difference there are many couples with large age differences, age really is just a number. Look into your heart and ask yourself what you expect of a meeting, what you want to get out of it and if it is what you really want.