Do you?

loud speaking when mad - Louder when you're upset or not?
@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
April 11, 2007 11:30pm CST
Do you speak louder when you're mad, nervous or upset?I don't. Actually my friends tell me they know when I'm really upset because I speak in a lower voice and talk very politely when I am . I never really noticed it before I was told about it enough times to really think about it. And it's true, as opposed to most people I know, I do lower my voice when I'm upset, and I really use a more than usual polite tone and words. I"m not sure why I do it this way, but what I know is that most people I know tend to raise their voice when mad. WHat about you, do you speak lower or louder when you are mad?
16 people like this
41 responses
@tatzkie (644)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
thatz a unique quality and it is admirable. Me when im really mad and it is brewing i keep silent for a while. And when i open my mouth it's the roar of the dragon! hahaha. Well i admire youre kind, you who can remain polite amidst the brewing anger deep within. keep it up. this world will soon be a peaceful place.
3 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
The roar of the dragon :) That sounds like my mom LOL THen after the roar everything would be better again . Reading your response just reminded me of that :)
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
13 Apr 07
I only yell when someone keeps interrupting me or won't listen. Though usually my tone will stay even and the voloum will be normal..but the angrier I get the quieter I'll be. Maybe it's to ensure people'll listen. Normally people will have to try arder if you speak more quietly to catch what you say.
2 people like this
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
13 Apr 07
i speak louder when im angry if it pertains to my family and if i think i need to raised my voice so that my children will pay attention..but if im mad on other persons i dont show it atually im always silent and only talk back when confronted but always in a small voice..
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
13 Apr 07
When I'm angry I tend to talk louder. But when I'm nervous or upset and sometimes when I'm angry I noticed that the tne or the pitch of my voice goes up. It usually does that before I start to talk louder than usual.
2 people like this
@cefaz_21 (2596)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
wow! I admire you for that, wish I could leran to do the same..but you bet, I'm the opposite of yours. I do speak loud when I'm mad and mind you it's really loud. If I don't yell,I'll not be able to breath so better let it out. I just really hope I can learn to get mad and not yell too loud. :)
@arkentos (213)
• India
13 Apr 07
ya it is human instinct to raise their voice when they are angry or freaking on some issue.Me is not different from this.but i always try to control my anger whenever the situatiion comes.I am working on it to keep myself cool and in peace in while angry.
2 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
12 Apr 07
i tend to go through stages. When im first angry i talk loud aqnd fast, as i get going this will get more so. However, when my anger goes through this stage, i go very quiet and will sit silently seething. This is the dangerous stage because if im provoked i will explode blessed be
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
Yes.that's the pattern I've seen more often. Is there a special release when/if you finally explode? I mean what's the feeling? relief? calm? more anger?
@chloe9013 (532)
12 Apr 07
I dont really sspeak louder then im angry, only to my dad. Everyone else, i tend to just say grr alot if the issue is not being resolved. if im uspet i tend to completly silence up and try not to talk to anyone.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
Yes, some people just silence up when really angry. I forgot about that variation, but it happens a lot as well.
• Singapore
12 Apr 07
It is natural for someone to speak louder when he is mad. As for nervous and upset, it might be louder or softer. In fact, even if we talk about being mad again, the person might end up speaking softer. It all depends on the person and his temperament. No hard and fast rule really. ;-)
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
That's very true . I am trying to figure out what is more common, louder or lower. Pretty much a tie so far:)
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
12 Apr 07
I can control mt temper quite well and i seldom get too angry , therefore, my voice have been the same everyday,I will speak to everyone with a soft voice,unless they cannot hear me , I will spaeak it louder.I will not really speak louder even when i am a bit upset on something.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
Me is not even a matter of controlling temper because I don't do it on purpose. It just comes like that. I know I am usually very calm and there isn't much that really gets me mad, but sometimes I wonder how normal that is LOL
@daryljane (3406)
• Philippines
12 Apr 07
i speak louder, they will really know that im mad..i really raise my voice so that they will really hear what i wanted to point out and they will understand what i wanted to say.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
I think I know exactly what you mean. I remember the only times I used to talk louder was when my kids where smaller. SOmetimes they needed something or were doing something that needed supervision, and I was busy for some reason . I remember I would answer them louder, not because I was mad, but it irritated me a bit that hubby was there and just waited me to let go of what I was doing to go to the kids when he could go himself. I think I was talking louder not to the kids as it might seem, but so he could hear - if he hadn't yet - and take some action.
• Canada
12 Apr 07
Weii, it depends on exactly how angry I really am. If I am really angry at you and would prefer not to see your face for at least a week, I will either talk really fast or if I know you extremely well, I might even yell. If, however, I am so angry, that I am prepared to buy you a coffin and put you in it alive, I will be almost stone cold quiet. When I go quiet like that, it is a warning signal for people to back off immediately. It means that I am about to confront you...not in a physical way...but in a way that means you will be out of my life forever. Thank goodness I very rarely get angry. I am definitely a much nicer person when I am cheerful.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
WHO doesn't prefer cheerful ? :) I never thought about the level of anger. I am Portuguese, I usually talk a bit louder than a lot of people, but why do I go lower when I'm angry? Interesting to find a lot of different answers here.
1 person likes this
• Canada
14 Apr 07
Maybe you go quieter because your body knows that you will explode if you actually show the way you truly feel. The brain is a remarkable organ, you know.
1 person likes this
• Canada
25 Apr 07
Thank you very much for giving me the response award.
• India
12 Apr 07
when im mad.. im either loud or i hardly speak at all.. i dont like talking to people when im mad or im upset.. so i avoid conversation.. lol
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
:) yes avoidance is also another way people tend to use when dealing with anger. I couldn't just avoid it, I have to say something, it's just that it doesn't usually come in a loud way.
• Indonesia
12 Apr 07
i do speak loud, but only when i get mad of someone, but my voice become lower when i am nervous or sad, even i lost my voice if i am nervous, wow, you can be patient while you are mad of someone, i'm proud of you you can keep your voice lower and speak calmly, i cant do that, it feels like i wanna scream to the person i'm mad of and i cant be patient to him
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
My mom used to loose her voice completely when nervous, but never when angry:) WHen she was angry we will all know it. LOUD and clear LOL
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
12 Apr 07
yeah I do. When someone make me mad, angry or upset. I talk very loud.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
YOu and a lot of people that I know. I think it's actually natural that why I thought about this discussion.. kind of .. why don't I?
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
18 Apr 07
I actually never noticed it until one of my sisters pointed it out to me but I do tend to speak louder when I am mad or upset. However, when I am nervous I speak softer, like I'm trying to hide or something.
1 person likes this
@Lyrica (127)
• Canada
12 Apr 07
When I was younger and had arguments with my sister/brother, I would yell really loudly. But now, I don't usually get mad enough to yell. Instead, I talk calmly with a much reason and as little heat as possible. If I can't take it, I would usually just leave. I think if I were to yell now when I'm mad, it would come out as a tearful squeak lol. I tend to cry when I get mad and it chokes me up so if I don't speak calmly, I wouldn't be able to speak at all. I wonder if that happens to anyone else?
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
13 Apr 07
WHen I was younger I was a bit like that too. I wanted to say something but my voice was trembling because I felt like crying. It wasn't that I was afraid or sad,but if the situation was really charged I felt like crying.
@SKLC_PT (1234)
14 Apr 07
I usually keep my calm even when I'm upset and being yelled at, but if I really lose it then I'll yell, cause I've reached my limit to staying calm. I hate to scream and be screamed at but if I reach my limit I can't hold it, I loose control.
• United States
14 Apr 07
I tend to speak faster when I'm nervous.I want to get whatever it is that I have to say out quickly. Unfortunately, when I do this most people don't understand me and I have to repeat whatever it was I said.If I'm upset I either yell or don't say much at all, there's not a whole lot of middle ground there.
1 person likes this
@omarking (91)
• Egypt
12 Apr 07
yes..............yes.............yes..................yes................when i be angry no one know me i can kill any one in front me that mean my voice be louder.........louder...............louder.......................louder and louder and i'm very.......very.......and extremly angry now u know why??.... because this site ..u know why???....because my discussion.........u know why?.........bewcause the repnose...............u know why??............becuse no one reponse my all discussion............and i got mad !!!!!!!!!
1 person likes this