Annual trip with the girls
By soccermom
@soccermom (3198)
United States
April 30, 2007 6:57am CST
So this weekend I went on to an indoor waterpark with my 3 kids, my mom and my sister. The kids and I had a great time, but here's the problem. I might as well have took the three kids by myself. My sister and mom were no help with them whatsoever, and maybe I'm wrong, but I thought I'd get some help since this was supposed to be a family getaway. The waterpark was geared toward various age groups, and I didn't need to worry about my oldest so much but there was stuff my 4 year old could do that my youngest can't. My mom hubg out for a couple hours then took off to go shopping, my sister got her period and didn't feel good so she went back up to the room, and there I was trying to keep an eye on my two little ones and spend time with my oldest. It was hard! I am so exhausted I should have Pierre Cardin tattooed under my eyes because of the luggage underneath them. Anyway, the whole way back my mom and sis kept talking about what a great time they had and they want to make this an annual trip. I'm not too sure I want to, both of them were laughing about how tired I was, but neither offered to help at all with the kids! Would you agree to go annually? On one hand it's nice to have that family time together, but on the other I felt like I took the kids by myself!
8 people like this
17 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
30 Apr 07
That is a difficult situation. I would tell them that while you had a good time, you could have used some help with the kids and that it was totally exhausting for you on your own and it would be lovely to do something like this yearly, but maybe when the kids get a little older. That way, their feathers don't get ruffled, and you don't have to worry about being so exhausted. I mean if you are going to be alone in this situation while everyone else is going off and doing their own thing, what is the point of spending the extra money and time to do this when you end up more beat up and exhausted afterwards? I hope you find a good solution to your problem. I know it is wonderful to have family time like htat, but you deserve time too!
4 people like this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
30 Apr 07
I was so peeved when my mom left to go shop. I don't think it would be so bad but now today I have my 4 year olds "beach party" at school, have to work, and soccer practice for my oldest tonite. Maybe if we do do this again it should be on a three day weekend.
3 people like this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
14 May 07
Yes, I imagine you would have been quite upset as I would have been as well! Wow, sometimes I can't believe how insensitive people can be, yeah, I don't blame you for wanting to do that on a three day weekend! You are so busy!
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
30 Apr 07
I am not surprised you are really tired.
I get worn out looking after my two on my own when we do things like that. Like you I wold have expected on a trip like that to have got some help. I don't think I would make it an annual thing!
4 people like this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
30 Apr 07
Thanks for making me feel better about not getting any help, for a bit I thought maybe I was just being selfish! Now how to tell my mom I'm not interested...Part of the problem too is my kids get away with alot when my mom is around, my sister is pretty strict with the kids, stricter than me, but then we get home and they think it's okay to do stuff because grammy let them. We no sooner got home yesterday and had to go buy my 4 year old a new bed ($200) because she got home and was jumping on hers like it was the hotel and busted the wooden frame.
4 people like this
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
30 Apr 07
My eldest daughter is the same after she has spent time with her grandparents. She turns into a selfish brat.
I can see how telling your mum you don't want to do it again will be difficult. If I was you I would not mention it and hope she forgets. If they do try to set it up try to be busy at the times they are free. If you can't do that then maybe honesty might be the best policy and just say that its a lot of work for you and might be better when the kids get older.
4 people like this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
30 Apr 07
When my mom was alive, she was really "hands on" with my two girls. Whenever we went somewhere and she was along with us, she always jumped in to help, wherever she noticed a need. My sister is the same way. I also do this with my niece. However, not all families are like that, I know.
soccermom, it sounds like your mom and your sister treated this as a getaway for them too and they didn't feel any inclination or motivation to help you. I guess, if you didn't flat out ask for help, they might have decided that you didn't need any?
I think, for the prospect of an "annual trip," I'd let them know that, because your children are young, it's very hard for you to take the three of them away and still have any fun yourself. Maybe let them know that it's not all that appealing to you to make it an annual event if you are just going to get back home exhausted and that, if they might be willing to help you next time, then you'll be much more inclined to go... otherwise, you might have to put it off until the children are a little older and not so dependent on individual supervision. They'll likely get your message this way and may offer to help you out so you can continue to have this annual family time.
2 people like this
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
30 Apr 07
I have an annual trip that I do with my mom and sisters~ no kids. The reason for no kids is so we can all enjoy ourselves and have some 'me' time.
If I were your mom or sister, I wouldn't feel that it is my responsibility to watch your children. Remember, they are your kids. Unless before you even scheduled the trip you discussed that each of you would take and watch one kid, I would assume that they are your responsibility to watch. I have 4 kids and when I go to any amusement parks, my mom will usually walk around with us for a while, then go to the shops just like your mom did. I never would expect her to be responsible for me kids for the day.
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
30 Apr 07
I would discuss how I felt this trip went with my mom and sister before I would agree to making it an annual trip. As the children get older it does become easier but the first couple of years they are going to need to help you. Maybe you each could take one child and every few hours switch children so that they could spend time with everyone.
Normally when I do things like this with my family each adult takes responsibility of one of the younger children.
3 people like this
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
30 Apr 07
I know exactly how you feel. my family are no help either. On the one hand, the way I look at it is, its my child and I am responsible. On the other hand, I find it puzzling and frustrating that a mother can be obviously up to her eyeballs with stuff to do and no body lifts a finger!
Perhaps its been so long since your mother had kids that she has forgotten what its like...and clearly your sister has none. It really sounds like they didn't mean to be so uncaring. Maybe try some hinting, by saying that you may go next year, depending on whether you can get a sitter...? As you would like some time to yourself while on holidays? But if they don't "bite" don't go.
1 person likes this
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
30 Apr 07
i would have been a bit upset myself.... and i would tell them no personally about the anual trip too, i'd tell them that if it's something that i want to do, i'll be doing it myself with my kids, or with hubby and kids, because they're no use to you out, and though at times they can be fun, they couldn't even stay and enjoy their time with you and the kids, the main reason for the trip.
That'd me my thing, and although it comes out mean, they'll get over it i'm sure... i'd take my kids out and enjoy my time with them without allowing myself to be frustrated with someone who just takes off, even if i would end up exhausted at the end of the night.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
20 May 07
Ouch that stinks! You would have thought that they would have helped out- 3 kids are various ages is hard to watch in a water park. I think that if you decide to go again you should talk to your mom and ask that she help more next time- Maybe sit with your youngest so you can go with the middle. It would be more fun if you had more help- Perhaps next year make it a family trip and take the "men " too- that way there will be lots of help!
@mommy2jason922 (529)
• United States
30 Apr 07
if you were going to do another family trip maybe go somewhere were all the kids can play in the same spot and if they want to go back to the waterpark you should ask them if they are going to help with the kidos! if not tell them your not interested. it may be hard to do that but its even harder to try and watch 3 kids by yourself at a waterpark!
1 person likes this
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
30 Apr 07
I am happy to hear that you had fun soccermom, I would agree to make it an annual trip just for the sake of the girls. I wish that my mother had done something like this with us. I am sure that you could work something out for the next couple of years until they are old enough to not be so hectic on you. My suggestion to you would be take along a babysitter. I am sure that you could find a teenager or a college student who wouldn't charge you too much to go with you. Just make sure that they know that they will be responsible for taking care of the children and not having fun and that if they don't do this they will not get paid. Or just ask hubby to go with you next time if that is possible, he could go just until the girls are old enough to be more independent.
@creematee (2810)
• United States
30 Apr 07
I know exactly where you are coming from, soccermom! I have friends, family, etc. that think it's OK to leave their children with me while they go do their things. I remember, shopping with my SIL and her sister for Christmas presents. I ended up sitting in the children's play area, watching the kids while they did the shopping for about 3 hours! How much fun was that??? I din't ANY shopping done!!! The worst part was--not so much as a Thank you from either one of them! GRRRR!
I would very gently tell you mom that it was nice to spend time with her and your sister, but maybe find something else that you can ALL do together. Even though the water park is kid friendly, it sounds like it isn't very parent friendly. LOL!
Sorry about the bed. Grandparents just don't know how much they are spoiling the little ones do they? Just think how spoiled we would be if they treated us like that when we were little?!!? HA HA HA! My kids are always so pumped up on sugar when they come home it takes a week to wear them out!
1 person likes this
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
1 May 07
Maybe the next annual trip could be just you three adults. No kids. Give you time to relax and enjoy a weekend of shopping and pampering for just you. Then later on take your kids somewhere by yourself and spend time with just them.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
30 Apr 07
I do not see where you actually got to spend time with your mother and sister.....I am sure that the children enjoyed it, however I would proabably consider making it an annual trip only if hubby (who was sitting at home bored, right?) accompanied us.....the children would have been much easier to "keep up with" if Dad had been there.
I am sure that you are exhausted, my friend....the water will wear you out enough and then to have no help from your family...must have been very difficult!
I am glad that your mother and sister had a "good time" but do not think that it was nice of them to tease you about being so tired...I too, would have expected more interaction between them and my children and would be disappointed.....
Try to get some rest, my friend. I am glad that you are back.
@charlestchan (1415)
• Malaysia
1 May 07
you remind m of my sister.. they're very naughty as well.. everytime my mother take them to the shopping mall..my stepfather will dissapear.. and then.. i have to help my mother to take care of my 3 sister.. they're really naughty.. and i'm getting sick with it.. they just don't listen to you.. and worse still.. they make lots of noise.. and that really boils me...i think it's not my responsibility to take care of my 3 sister as my parents were the one decided to have them.. i didn't ask for 3 younger sister.. and why do i have to take care of them when they'r at the mall.. it's very emabrassing you know.. sometimes i just feel like hiding =_=...i hope they'll grow up as fast as possible.. so they won't trouble my mum and my other siblings =)
