Break up after 5 years. I'm having a hard time.

Thanks. I won't let this situation affect me but everytime I'm not busy doing something, I remember him. Maybe he's not the one for me.

i think its not her lost.

just make your self busy and don't think of him.

I don't think he'll come back. I've been negotiating for several days now. He has many conditions for us to be back together again and I don't think I would prioritize it over my studies. I feel bad. If he really loves me he would understand.

he should really understand you about your studies, may be he finds another girl and it is diffucult for him to tell the truth so thats why he has so many conditions.

One thing that hurts me more is that we've been through a lot. My parents didn't even like him and I still stayed with him because I really love him. Maybe my parents were right after all. I'm praying that I could get over this soon. I have to focus more on my studies to avoid thinking of him.

I am sure your parents will continue to give you their unwavering support. Family and friends' support are useful during this period. Grief if you need to. Suppressing the grief and pain is not going to do any good. Same as burying yourself with the aim of not acknowledging the truth.

I think it would take some time. I think I'm better off without him. I wanted to prove wrong my parents by staying with him and hoping that he would change. I may be good at academics. But I'm no good when it comes to this.

Being good academically is good enough:P
I doubt anyone is good at such. lol. We all learn from personal experiences and other's experiences. It takes time, yes, but you will be fine. Hope you emerge a stronger person.

I hope so. I think I learned a lot after this relationship.

That's good:)

Hope you are coping well.
Thanks for the best response:)

I know him a lot and he's the kind of person that does not look much into the future. He just wants to be happy all the time. He doesn't even plan anything for our future. I think you're right. He is not the one for me.

I am glad you are starting to think this hugs and good luck

now i remember it was a week before yours and i had told you about it hadn't i?
must 'av passed on the break up infection to you,sorry

Might be. June is wedding month. July is break up month.:-) I always find time to cheer myself up. Talking with my online friends, like you cheer me up.

One thing I'm afraid of is rushing into another relationship because of the loneliness I feel. That would be bad.

Oh yes, I remember that day. You said that some girl dumped you.

i'm glad you find me amusing,wish i could say she was some girl but i still think of her even though i try not to,bad boy:)
i'll find someone else to think off will you oblige?
:D

Hmmm. I'll think about it.:-) I'm quite busy with school. But you can always talk to me if you want to.

you serious? i'm a simple person i take things literally
(expectant look):D

I've seen your profile. You're only 19, but I think you're mature enough. You can message me if you want but I can't assure you that I could respond to every message you send. I wanted to be busy and stop thinking about guys.:-)

you make me feel like a 9 year old,thanks for calling me mature people(especially women rarely do).i'm sorry but i was just kidding trying to make you smile(i don't know why though)which doesn't mean i don't find you pretty.you are a girl that will draw guys to yourself like bees to honey but for now you're the busy bee:)
i might send you a message or 2 but i think most of our conversation will be limited to your discussions.unlike you i'm not off galz:) like most of my species(males) i'm on the hunt again:D
wish me luck

I really don't like to draw that much attention. I don't like being on the spotlight.

Good luck my friend. I hope you find the right one for you soon.

well you will its inevitable, i'm sure you'll find the right guy considering your last choice lasted 5 years (very long by my standards 2 years is by far the longest relationship i've been in).i always make the incorrect choices for eg you yourself,the reason i havn't considered you is unclear to me but i'm sure its just another mistake i'm making:)
which could be taken as a compliment if you look at it this way - you're a wonderful girl but i'm a jerk for not trying to court you

p.s. i'm just guessing you're a great gal naaa..aahh kidding again,now the following question is only for information purposes only if unanswered it could compromise national security: are you the sweet,innocent,shy type or are you a naughty kitty cat?
:)

I'm really shy and I don't want to be around a lot of people.

yippee you're just the generic kind (a magnet)
:)
are you willing to get on with an another relationship so soon??

I don't think so. I have to focus on myself first.

just as i thought,thats a very good attitude so i guess i'll have to put away my attempts to woo you for a while then:)

Thanks! Concentrating on my studies would be much harder. But the break up would give me more time for my studies and myself. I'm hoping I could get over this as soon as possible.

There are really lots of guys out there. I don't really want to bad mouth my ex. I know it would be unfair to him. But I really think I don't deserve him. Many of my friends keep telling me that years ago but I ignored them because I love this guy very much. I was hoping he would change, but he didn't. My efforts were wasted.

Thanks. By the way, how long did it take for you to get it over with?

It's hard to say really as it was slow and gradual improvement. I remembered it for several months but within about a month, I was coping again and one day I woke up and it was like I suddenly I was over it and my life was worth living after all. It was when I felt that even if she asked me to, I would never go back to her again. It was like a weight had been taken away from me.. Different people take different amounts of time to get over these things. I've seen lots of different people with this loss problem as a therapist:-)

I hope it won't take me that long.

Thanks! I spend a few days alone here in my room doing nothing and thinking what went wrong. I felt like I wasn't ready for this relationship to end.

Now, I'm quite ok. Still feeling bad but ready to move on. I hope this would not take long.

Being alone helps me, doesn't help everyone. Feeling ready to move on is a big step and if you're actually ready for it to end than that's a really good sign too. I hope it goes easier for you and you get better.

Thanks! I will concentrate on my studies now. It's a blessing in disguise. I will now have more time on my studies. Take care as well.