Would a Romney Inaugural Ball be Alcohol Free?
By ParaTed2k
@ParaTed2k (22940)
Sheboygan, Wisconsin
December 7, 2007 1:23pm CST
Remember back to the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City?
Remember the stories of local Salt Lake flavor and culture?
Remember the jokes about "Funeral Potatoes", "Green Jell-O with Carrot Shavings" and finding a place to drink?
Mitt Romney was the man in charge of those olympic games, now he's got his eye on the White House.
So, let's look at how America's Favorite Mormon would run an Inaugural Ball, shall we?
Alcohol, being a vile concoction, not for the belly, will find no place on the menu.
The designated smoking area will be... Baltimore.
Music will be provided by The Osmond Brothers, Donny & Marie, Rascal Flatts, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, The Jets, Gealic Storm and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Lady's gowns will cover the knees, backs, shoulders, and no more than 2 inches of cleavage can show... Even when raising their arms or bending.
The festivities will begin with prayer, making sure to bless the dinner, refreshments and "those who can't be here this week, that they can attend next week". They will also close with prayer, blessing everyone a safe journey home.
The food will be organized by the Washington DC Stake Relief Society Presidency. It will be a pot luck affair, the meat will be provided, but everyone invited is asked to bring their family's favorite side dish, with the recipe on cards to share.
Dancing will be encouraged, but no vulgar or suggestive dance moves, nor those where the feet leave the floor. Remember, the length of a Book of Mormon should always be maintained between couples.
We just know that all the invitees will make this the greatest inaugural ball ever! It will be more fun than doing the Napolean Dynamite Dance while on a Mt. Dew rush!!
2 people like this
1 response
@redyellowblackdog (10629)
• United States
7 Dec 07
Speaking of invites to the white house, once upon a time I was a highway contract route mail carrier. That's a mailman who is not an employee of the USPS, but an independent contractor. Anyway, a whole bunch of people on my route got invites to one of the Clinton Inaugurals. That was curious for 2 reasons.
1) There was no one on my route of political importance. How come maybe 2 dozen got such invites?
2) Why did the invites not get to our Post Office in time for them to be delievered so that anyone could actually make the inaugural?
Being busy, I just let these questions linger in my mind until a letter to the editor in the local paper condemed the USPS for screwing up and preventing a nice lady from attending the inaugural.
That got my curiosity going. I contacted one of my customers who received one of these invites and asked to see it. He let me have it.
Here's what I found out. The thing was a scam being run by the democratic party. I already knew the invites were mailed too late for anyone to receive them on time. Here's what also was suspicious. The actual invites did not have the receiptents name on them. They were generic invites. Also, included were brochures and order forms for Inaugural memoriablia with the proceeds going to the democratic party!
So, it was not an invitation at all. It was a solicitation for funds from previous democratic donors disguised as an invitation to the white house carefully mailed late so as to be useless and not having any name on it anyway.
This is how political parties operate.
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
7 Dec 07
I can just hear the lemmings who fell for that now.
"Wow, we were invited.. oh no, it got to us too late... we should still send money to show our appreciation". ;~D
1 person likes this
