Telling your sin before God, but does it have to be before man

He knows why I cannot get pregnant. We adopted, but we only got two - twins, and when we went to try to get some more, we got a new social worker who decided that I could not handle any more children because when she asked me if I would mind if my daughter had an illegitimte child, I said no. I think she felt that because I was a bad girl myself, I should not mind. I also acted more like a natural mother instead of being cold like adopted mothers are suppposed to be.

How old are your twins anyway? I think the social worker did not consider only your answer if its ok that your daughter will have an illegit child because any mom would not want that for her daughter to happen but of course, if that happenen, your daughter will always be your daughter. In cases of adoption, there are a lot of things that they consider. I guess you are well-off since you are able to adopt to at once. Maybe now is not yet the right time for you to adopt a new child. You can try it again someday.

My twins were three months and we were the third choice. My husband's youngest sister had an illegitimate child and I said we could adopt hers since she gave it up for adoption (she since married and has three of her own, that she gave birth to - me, well I guess what I did was too horrible that God did not grant me any of my own or cured me of that horrible disease soon enough!) but my husband was against the idea. And I am too much of an agreeable person. I have since learned to fight, but it is too late.

I c, that's the very reason why you can't have another one at that time. If your twins turn two, try adopting one again or you can ask your sister in law to try telling the social worker to have her daughter be adopted by you.
I dont wanna ask about what you have done that resulted to your inability to give birth coz if you ask me, there are really lots of women who cannot be a biological mother but there are biological mothers who don't want to be one. Just be proud that even if you are not the biological mother of your twins, there will never be another mother, a better or the best one for that matter, they would have aside from you.
I wanna wanna three more kids but financially, we cannot afford to have it now and my baby is only 5-months old. Aside from that, I have hyperthyroidism and thyrotoxic heart disease that if left uncured, might cause heart failure if I get pregnant so soon. You see, I wanna bear a child again but God gave me illness that restrists me from having one again. Though I can get pregnant, the risk is very high for me. I can risk my life but who would look after my two angels?
HAppiness is being contented with what we have, and contentment depends on how we accept things. If your husband knows all that happened to you,and accepted it, then there's no need for you to keep on considering another child. You are lucky because even if you can't have a child of your own, you are well-loved and accepted.

the reason is I got a venereal disease and did not know I had it. Had I got proposed soon after I gave my daughter up, I could have gotten a check up and got treated, but by the time I got married, it was too late and I could not just walk into a Vd clinic, because there was at that time, a belief that only bad girls got vd and good girls did not. So I am capable of caring for a baby that I could give birth to. So there is no physical or mental reasons, and I can care for another two or three and finances are not a problem. I am still praying.

look to the story of David and Bathsheba. Davis caused her husband to be killed when he learned she was going to have his baby. That baby dies as a result of his sin even when david confessed his sin.

Actually I cannot have any more children unless God performs a miracle and I am sure not nice like possibly Sarah and Elizabeth were.

I had a miscarriage after I married, and then I went to the doctor who told me that I had been pregnant before but it seemed they never came to -(I had heavy periods, but I guess they never developed). He checked me out and said that my tubes were twisted because I had gotten an std. He tried to fix it, but it did not work.
I had a long period of time before I had s*xual relations and because when I was 17 I got pregnant the first time, it would have been easy when I got married.

I am not to familiar with your situation but from observation. I would like to ask you have you accepted CHRIST as your lord and saviour, if that is you will be forgiven of all your sins and you don't have to confess your sins to man. That is "Jesus"is called the lamb of God, he is the ultimate sacrifice for our sins and now he bridges the gap for us.

So my friend start wailking with "God" and he will answer all your prayers and anything else. Study his word and you will find your answer.

I confessed my sins before God, but I was also taught that you have to ask the other person for forgiveness, and they are all dead.

You can write them a letter to get it off your chest. Then you can put them in your "God" box if you have one or burn them.

A "God" box is a simple creation. You can use a shoe box or other container. Write down anything you want to give God. Symbolically, you are letting go and letting God have it. Lay your burdens at Jesus's feet.

That's just a suggestion.

When you pray in order for God to forgive you of your sins You must be able to forgive those who have sinned against you.

You say all those people are gone so let God handle that because that have died and there is no way for you to ask their forgiveness.

Donot live in the past that is why we are forgiven because once forgiven always forgiven the Father doesn't live in the past and we as humans are sin in Gods eyes.

Those people are now dead. So how can one pray for the dead? That is the problem. I thought that I deserved what I got, but it was only in the last few months that I realized that had people been different, and had circumstances been different, then the events leading up to the pregnancy would never have happened. It is as if the grace to resist sin only went up to a certain point and mayhe because then I was not a Christian, God did not give me that block to resist. I have no idea why. If I was going to be a bad mother, why not make me unable to have children from the first?

Thank you. I always go the feeling that what I did was worse than if I had taken an ax and become an axe murderer.
And with that feeling, I felt that whatever I did would not make up for it and when I became a Christian, it was too late for the damage to be reversed.

Even if you had been an axe killer..God forgives it all..We still have to reap our sown seeds but that is just because it is the spoken word, but God never punishes us...we actually punish our selves when we do wrong..God is alway faithful to forgive....There is only one unforgiveable sin...

I wish I had the sense to say no, but I guess then I was going through depression. I read later what I had was low grade depression, it makes you do things that you normally would not do. Then I told that for a woman, having sex before marriage was the worse that she could do, in fact I thought it was the unforgivable sin. But it is not, and I have never denied Christ which is the unforgivable sin.

No you have not done anything unforgiveable..First off your sins is all washed away from the time you ask forgiveness..I can see you are hard on yourself,i use to be that way too...Whe you did do wrong that was in the past,forget anything you did and move forward...If you were really a bad person you would not care,but you do care...Just accept that you are forgiven and accept it by faith...God loves you just like you are..God Bless!

Thank you, that makes me feel better.

you are most we3lcome the only ones we have to answer to areourselv3es and our God

It does make me wonder why when God has forgiven me, why I still could not get pregnant. It is as if I have to do something great, or something to further hurt myself and when it did happen, the pregnancy out of wedlock, it seemed that my life was ruined. I could not meet a nice guy and get married even after I gave up the baby, I did not know I was infertile until after I was married and that was ten years later. I mean it was as if things were designed to keep me from having children and it was a miracle that we were able to adopt. Why we had to move to Saskatoon and adopt there, and my husband's family lived there and that gave me the feeling well they allowed the adoption because of my husband whereas in Vancouver they did not allow it because I had lived most of my life in Vancouver.

It is just that people who did worse things, slept with the whole football team for instance, and still had birth children. I felt I was shown up as an example.

I hope it is not because I am like that women who drowned all her children.

I figure if people had forgiven me and allowed me to date a nice guy, things would have been different and I would have to wait, and besides I thought that maybe God would have found me a nice guy before that std destroyed my chances.

Thanks. My infertility was part my fault. If it were just a biological condition, then God would have granted me an ability, like maybe me being good with lots of children, like as a teacher or a missionary and have the financial means to pursue that ambition.

"don't be hard on yourself, you can't mix a medical condition with a moral one, they are to separate issues"

Yea I fully agree...and I was going to post that but I think what you said came out so much better than how I would have probably worded it and with it being such a painful issue I htink I'll just chime in and say I agree with you...

As for the whole confessing sins thing...the ONLY person you need to confess ANYTHING to is god....You made the attempt to speak to your husband, he made his position clear. Leave it at that....Only god needs your confession, bottomline thats all that matters is you have it straight without a doubt, wiht him..

Thank you. It made me feel better.

again you are mixing abilities with your mistakes, what about all the great people out there who do not have the ability to work with children, do you think that did something bad, of course not, they are two different issues that you are mixing up.

first of all how do you know you do not have the ability to work with kids, have you ever tried? Have you ever looked for a job in the area, jobs just don;t come to your door

have you take the proper courses to make yourself ready for these type of jobs?

there is an expression "the lord helps those that help themselves"

then if you have done everything you could to work with kids and it doesn't happen then it was because god had a different plan for you,

perhaps it is working with the elderly, perhaps it is not directly working with people at all but doing something else in your life that will benefit you and others indirectly.

I truly believe you need to stop blaming yourself for what you can't do and start looking at what you can do, with the proper training.

I did help take care of kids. And we adopted two, but is that not enough? What else do I need to prove myself a good mother? Do I have to buy a car and prove that I can drive it? It seems that when other women can get babies easier, I have to go through so many hoops. If I was born this way, infertile, then God would have given me a talent in another direction, but since I did this to myself, there is no chance that it would happen. Maybe my greatest sin was giving the baby up.

why are you deliberately misunderstanding what I am saying to you?

I am saying everyone has skills and talents,

God will decide what it is for you,

if you had two adopted children then that was what you were supposed to do.

Who said you didn't raise them well, did I say you had to have a car or fancy house or lots of money,

guess what some of the poorest people on this planet are the best parents biologically or not.

I think if I had not given up my only daughter for adoption, I might have been a better parent. I was also brought up to believe that biological parents are better at it, you know all those Tv shows in the 70s about cold hearted rich people adopting babies, etc. I felt I had to be better than everyone else and I did not have the practice, only one brother, no other brothers and sisters to practice on.

garbage a parent is a parent biological or not,

my biological parents should never have had kids, either one of them, they were not good parents at all.

I guess you would have been better if they gave you up for adoption and a nice couple adopted you. It is rotten that my husband and I had to go through a test to prove that we would be good parents, we had to have a fenced in yard, a crib, etc. something many natural parents do not have.

I grew up with my dad's mother, or I thought she was, she loved me to death,

the creep told me to my face at 9 years old, that I was not his f-ing daughter anyhow.

He was not much of a father anyway. Even if he were not your biological father, he should have told you nicer and made up a story that your mother was in love with a nice man but he died, etc. and when he met your mother and married her, he said he always wanted a daughter.

Thank you. That made me feel better.