Did You Do Things The Same Way With All YOUR Children?
By villageanne
@villageanne (8553)
United States
March 24, 2008 2:41am CST
I found that I wanted to be the perfect mother with my first child. By the time my second was born, I was too worn out to even think about being perfect. It is amazing how we change with each child.
FIRST BABY - SECOND BABY - THIRD BABY - changes we make
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner
2 people like this
11 responses
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
25 Mar 08
well I only had one child but had I had others I think I would have learned from my mistakes, like to be more consistent with my parenting.
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
25 Mar 08
I don't have children, but I do hae a thought on this one.
A lot of people think they can be perfect everytime, and don't think about reality. I've seen enough reality to know that having children is NOT for me. That's just me, I'm strong in other ways.
A lot of people think "it won't happen to ME" because they think they're so different. We're all human, so we are all the SAME.
You brought up an interesting point.
1 person likes this
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
5 Jul 08
I only had the one child, a daughter, some 30 years ago [almost] so didn't find out about that but now I live with my three grandsons and yes, the more kids there are, the less it seems to matter! You're just way too tired to do the same things for each one so now, come on, they have a roof over there heads and clean clothes and we feed them, anything else is just extras, right? LOL
@passionfalcon (84)
• Canada
25 Mar 08
I think I always treated my children the same. As babies they might not see how one is treated compared to another but you can be sure they're noticing when they are a little older and so on. And I want they to know they are all loved the same. I've known people to have favorites within their own children. I personally can't imagine that. You are the parent if you aren't showing them that love their life will be sad.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
20 Apr 08
lmao! That was too funny. So true on most of them too. I try to stay constant with how I bring up all my children and not to do anything differently.
@Muelitz (1592)
• Canada
5 Jul 08
I must admit, you can't do what ever you did to your first born exactly the same way to your next child or children for that matter. In my case, we were extra careful on our first born, that is because we are new to parenthood, everything was special An example would be buying processed baby food. For our next child, we already know what is good for him. Since we discovered that feeding them processed baby food was no good we home cook and prepare mashed food, it was cheaper compared to how we fed our first born.
Bottom line is you adjust according to experience so it cant be the same. But It does not mean you love one more than the other:)
@lovespecialangel (3632)
• United States
25 Mar 08
I love your analogy of what we do with each child. We learn with each child we have, plus each child is different. I treat each child as equally as I can, but that is hard to do as each one is different. One could also say we get smarter with each child.
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
25 Mar 08
Some of these are so true. I wasn't one to use pacifiers though. Bottles were not used either, as I nursed my babies. Diapers were usually cloth and when they were wet, they were wet. One day I took my second daughter out in a blue sleeper. There was lace on the sleeper and some flowers around the collar. She wore a pretty pink bow in her hair. A lady stopped to admire my little bundle as she slept peacefully in her seat atop the shopping cart. She said "he was a lovely little boy."
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
25 Mar 08
I have 4 children, the one about maternity clothes being my regular clothes is the only one that rings true for me. I haven't done every thing the same with all of them of course, but the changes I have made I like to think are because I have learned more. Learned what works, learned to appreciate just how fast childhood passes etc.
@above31rubies (1863)
• United States
25 Mar 08
This is SO true!! I have four kids (the youngest two are twins) and I can definitely relate to most of these. My mom and I say the pacifier one all the time...lol.
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
25 Mar 08
I'm reading your post and laughing so hard im tearing up. I can relate to everyone of them. Although you love them all after the first one your prospective changes. And your mission becomes survival. Good one lol.
