Do you get on with your step-children?
By overhere
@overhere (515)
United States
April 14, 2008 8:35am CST
I was wondering what other peoples relationships are like with their step children. I have three through my marriage and though we all seem to get on the relationships aren't "close". I hasten to add my hubby hasn't had close relationships with his kids either over the years. Sometimes I think in true style they only show up when they want something preferably money. But I would love my hubby to share a closer relationship with both his kids and seven grandkids. None of them live very close which doesn't help. what is your story and advice?
3 people like this
4 responses
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I have two and they are with us all the time. We are fairly close, although they were not young when I entered their lives, they were already pre-teen and young teenage. Teen years are tough enough as it is with emotions and changes, and also a lot of habits and views have already been formed. It has been easier for us in the sense that this is home, the rules here are the rules. I rarely unless necessary use the term 'step' because they don't feel that way to me.
How old are your hubby's kids? How influential have you both been in their lives and was it constant? There's no time like the present to step up your involvement and show your support and that you care. I do hope that my kids don't move too far away when it's that time, because I do want to still be there if and when they need. Many things will drop by the wayside but children remember they were and are loved, appreciated, and thought about no matter how old they are.
3 people like this
@overhere (515)
• United States
16 Apr 08
Unfortunately none of the kids were raised by hubby and so his relationship with them although now good is not "close". Part of the problem is that he sometimes appears to want to be their friend rather than giving them the guidance of a father. I have only been in their lives for the last dour years so it's new and I dont want to be the "stepmother" as such - they have a mother. I just attempt to support hubby and offer a warm and welcoming home whenever they are here.
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@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
14 Apr 08
Sorry but I can't help ya there.I have a 27 yr old stepdaughter and I dont care for her at all...BUT not without good reason! She is a spoiled, coniving, cruel piece of work to the point that her father/my husband, hasnt had anything to do with her in a few yrs now....
3 people like this
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
16 May 08
I get along very well with my step "children." I put "children" in quotes, bcause they're really not children anymore. I married an older man, so most of the step children are actually my age, or older. LOL At first they looked at my suspiciously, bu when they realized how much I love their Dad, they came around. The youngest one thinks I'm cool because I don't mother him.
@mnflower (1299)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I have three children one is 20 now and living with us and his girlfriend and his 4 month old daughter and we have a very close relationship and always have best of friends, they are all my husbands kids and we are all super close. we also have a 10 year old and 14 year old daughters that live with us every other weekend and whenever they really want to come over. I have a very good relation also with the kids mother and that helps alot and we communicate on a weekly basis about the kids and the good and bad with them..this helps us keep all the communication and friendship and attachment current and loving for the kids are the most important of all of it.I do and will and will always be here for all the kids and they are welcome to come and go from my home no matter what situation they are in. As I said now the 20 year old son is living with us trying to get on there feet to get there family together and it has been very fun. we all live in one home and they going to rent our quest house very cheaply and help us as we help them.so I am blessed and love my stepchildren
2 people like this
@overhere (515)
• United States
16 Apr 08
I'm sure it makes a big difference both being around as they grow up and getting on well with the other parent. Hubby had fairly acrimonious divorce where the children were probably caught in the middle. And of course I only appeared in their lives once they were grown and long gone from home and established in their own lives and families. All things considered the good situation we have now is something to be very thankful for. Your situation sounds like a great big house of fun - Enjoy.
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