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My friend died email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life2 years ago

Life can really suck sometimes. I just got in from a having a great day and got a message from my friend to call her. I used to work with her and her mother for years. And we were very good friends outside of work. Her mother died last night at 3 in the morning. she died in her sleep. Im so upset and I cant stop crying. I just dont know what to do. Do you have any suggests for me?

 
 
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Goodie123 (7548) response was accepted on 6/3/2008.
denotes best response.
tags:  friend, death, grief, died, friends
 
1. myLot reputation of 99/100. lilaclady (19768)   ranked 1,105 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

I think just to let her know you are there for her, there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better in these times, grief is so different for every person so I think the best thing is to offer your self to help in any way...it is a sad time for everyone..


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

I know that and Im just so mad. I know I shouldnt be but I cant help it.


myLot reputation of 80/100. atacamaval (3046)   ranked 3,493 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

A part of grief IS being mad. Don“t feel bad about it. Take care.

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2. myLot reputation of 72/100. shakleelady (130)   ranked 11,890 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

Sorry for your loss!
I find that if I stop and pray and be thankful for the life that person lived and all the people she touched I realize that there is a lot of her in all of us, this makes me feel better. My condolences.


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

Thankyou for your kind words. But right now I feel really bitter. I hope it will soon pass.

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3. myLot reputation of 93/100. jerzgirl (2787)   ranked 161 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

Life can be all too painfully real at times, can't it? I am so very sorry about your friend. I don't know if you know who's in charge of the arrangements, but if she and her mother lived together, then maybe offer to make some casseroles and take over to her for dinners while she's getting things together. Make it something she can re-heat the next day instead of having to cook anything. Maybe make some breakfast sandwiches and freeze them so she can nuke them in the mornings. Offer to wash her clothes (things she'll need done but won't feel like doing) or vacuum the house, etc. If you weren't that close to be comfortable doing that, then just make some casseroles (one dish meals of whatever) and take them over. Even if others have done it, she'll probably have family stopping by and there will be stuff they can have, too. But, most of all - offer an ear, and place to go to have a time out from the hassle, and a shoulder to cry on.

Best of luck! And, condolences to her and hers.


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

I know and I thankyou but I cant do anything physical I just had major surgery. But I can just be there for her. I will be strong.


myLot reputation of 93/100. jerzgirl (2787)   ranked 161 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

Then her knowing your door is always open to her will be a great help. She'll understand the rest.

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4. myLot reputation of 87/100. jawaharks (298)   ranked 9,860 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

it is really sad. it happens in many lives terry. calm your friend first.


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

I know it happens all the time. I need to calm myself first so I can be good and strong for her.Yes it is sad and it sucks.

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5. myLot reputation of 79/100. jonesy123 (3254)   ranked 2,695 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

I'm sorry for your loss. Just let your friend know that you will be there for her and her family. Offer to help with the arrangements. There is so much to do they'll probably appreciate an extra helping hand. And bring over a casserole or something. Overall, just lend a shoulder to lean on. It may help your grieving process as well.

It will take time to heal. Think about the good times you had with them. It helps!


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

I know that and I will do anything for her. But Im still mad.

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6. myLot reputation of 98/100. lynettebyc (777)   ranked 763 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

Hello, Terry, i'm sorry for you loss. We all will die, only time differs. I think your friend's happy, she doesn't suffer from the pain or disease, she died in her sleep, peacefully enjoying her life. You know lots of people struggle to live, and die an indecent die. Compare to those, your friend's lucky. The only thing you can do now is to mourn and bless for her, meanwhile, live and cherish your own life.
Enjoy life~~
Hope you will get through this


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

I will get through this. Ihave too. I am her best friend. And I do cherish my own life. Everyone should.

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7. myLot reputation of 98/100. dolce_vita78 (4736)   ranked 8 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

Hi TerryZ! How are you doing now? I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how terrible it feels to lose someone we love dearly. Just be there for your friend and help her get through her loss. God Bless you and your family.


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

Im angry and I will be there for my friend. what kind of friend would I be if I wasnt?

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8. myLot reputation of 30/100. insaneduck9 (770)   ranked 5,395 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

Sorry. I hope your friend rests in peace. I don't know what would do and what life would be like without my friends and family. They mean the world to me.


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

Yea it sucks. And right now Im very angry.

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9. myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (11671)   ranked 227 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

Oh Terry, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's mother, especially since you were close to her as well. I can't give any great words of advice here, but simply to give an ear to your friend since she'll need support now from all of her friends during this time.


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

your are so right I have to be really strong for my friend. She would be for me.

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10. azizanightshade (34)   ranked 16,369 out of 38,533 in life   2 years ago

as everyone else has said, i'm sorry to hear that this has happened. However unfair it may seem, death is a part of life, and eventually we all will pass from this earth. sometimes the best thing to do to get through the grief is to wallow in it, give yourself time to feel all the feelings that you are going through.
my friend died around this time about 4 years ago when i was still in school. it was such a shock because he was young. what helped me was going through the motions of my day. then when i was able to talk about it, talking to someone (even if it was just my cat) about what was going through my mind. you're luck to have your friend to talk to and share experiences, feelings, etc.
now is also a great time to look to your religious beliefs. many times i have found solace in the Buddhist teachings.
hang in there hunny, you'll be ok.


myLot reputation of 96/100. TerryZ (11466)   ranked 247 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

The only thing I know is I most be very strong for my best friend. Im glad you found some relief in Buddhist teachings. Im catholic and I can turn to my priest for help. Thanks.


andraph (13)  2 years ago

Hi Terry,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Currently, I am dealing with the death of my mom on May 15. I am so very happy because she was such a lovely woman and she did all that she wanted to do in life (she lived of her children). I derive my understanding and joy in recognizing that she was happy, but then she became ill, and suffered with dementia so much so that she had to be placed in a nursing home. I think she was tired and simply let go.

I will keep you in my prayers that you will soon heal from your grief, and allow those thoughts to turn to your friend (both mother and daughter) to reflect on your time together on this plane.

Much peace and prosperity to you.


myLot reputation of 55/100. shufflekia (101)   ranked 31,496 out of 38,533 in life  2 years ago

Well this is the way life is. You really can't control everything.
But the key is religion. It will pave your way to live life to the fullest.

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