Special kids

My son has Asperger's which if you are not familiar is a form of autism. I hate the word exceptional for children with special needs. I don't know what it is about this word but it makes me nuts. I have worked in education but on the administrative side of it, and while working with the sped teachers I would always say why do you call kids this and the answer every time would be because they are. I guess I prefer special over exceptional. My son is special in the fact that he lives a life of kids calling him stupid all the time and since he doesn't really look different adults asking him what is wrong with you. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes and it makes me cry when he asks me why he is so stupid. He really isn't stupid he just doesn't get things that are abstract he needs everything concrete. There can't be any in between with him. It's sad that many of the adults are not as smart as the children that have been label "special" by society.

It really angers me to know that some people act very foolish. Some children just say things without thinking. So the mother is supposed to appologize very quickly and give manners to her daughter. When I was a child, I would never call on people directly like how she did. I would ask my mom discretely and she would explain to me and tell some things to say and to not say. That mother doesn't have a child with autism so she doesn't know how it feels. next time you meet such people, you should tell them to educate more their children. : (

It is hard to believe that a grown-up would be that cruel. I hate the label "special child" or even "special needs child." Neither of my children had disabilities but each was special and had unique needs and qualities. We seem to need labels for that which we are uncomfortable with or that which we don't understand. If we can give them a label we don't have to see them as whole human beings. They are all children, all special, all unique in some ways. We need to teach others that differences are not good or bad and don't have to divide us.

I've always wondered about that...we have all these polite and PC terms but is that really what the people they are about actually want? You are right, all children are special, does yours need to be separated from the others as a 'different' kind of special? I don't think so, he's a child with different needs than others...even calling them special needs seems a bit odd to me because I think many children would do well with tailored educations...I hope I'm making some sense LOL! I'm glad you spoke out on this. Every time a parent does it helps raise a little bit more awareness and helps all the other kids and parents who have to deal with this.

It is ignorance that make people especially parents do the things they does. Yes they call them special because they are not in the handicap/disable category. It is that they either cannot speak/or do the things at the rate their age does it. I have done a piece on it and it was not given more than two responses. Children with disabilities are frown upon in our society and I think that they need to stop it. Adults are the one's that hurt these children because of what they say around other children. As older folks will say children lives what they learn. Always show your son love but do not treat him different from your other kids. He can grow out of it. We need to be more loveable and caring in this world. What you can do is form a website with the other mothers and try and let person more knowledge about the hurt that are affecting these children. All the best.

I feel appalled with the kids with this condition are being treated. I If only I could do something to educate ignorant individuals that 'special' children are not called that way to be taunted. The way the daughter pointed out and felt disgusted towards a special child may pass as an innocent judgement, but still a testament on how she was raised by her parents. I'm sorry am just eating my heart out here.

Some people just don't have the right education and can't seem to leave their ignorance at home.. I have had people make remarks about my 2 year old as well, but I just blow it off because they are ignorant and I don't need to waste my time on them. I do know that sometimes parents will tell their children that if someone acts or looks different its not nice to point or stare because they are special.. I sometimes just think these parents need a little help because a lot of people just don't know what to say to their small child when asked about another child that might look or act different. Me on the other hand.. I have always told my daughter that everyone is different and EVERYONE is SPECIAL in their own way and that it's never okay to point or stare at someone that might for some reason act different or look different. She is 5 and treats everyone how she wants to be treated. I think it's all in the parents. We are the teachers here. They learn from us and how we act.

violeta you are so right. here in the US we are just too fond of labeling kids and thus the other kids without labels just keep on picking on the other kids. its so wrong and so disgusting. What if we were to label all kids thus some would be labeled bright, some not too bright, some bullies some cute, this would cause even more bullying and picking on classmates. We need to quit it with the labels. All kids are kids with differentkinds of needs and should not be picked 'on at all. I think even some adults give a knee jerk response to kids with labels and sneer and mock. its so wrong.

I'm just wondering what would you like your children to be called? I've always wondered, so I'm not trying to be insensative, but seriously what would you like your children to be called? They are NOT like normal children. They have 'special' needs, this doesn't make them bad, it makes them 'different'. But even different is considered a 'bad' word. But why? Everybody is different, everybody has 'special' needs, everybody learns differently, thinks differently, but there is a realm of 'normal', but what is that? And who cares really, 'normal' is boring, normal is what would have keep us living in caves without electricity. Think of how many people changed the world, weren't they different? Albert Instine (sp?), Steven Halwking (sp?), for starters, weren't/aren't they considered special needs? So maybe your kids won't be geniuses and won't change the world, but so what? How many people haven't? Countless. The label isn't what matters, what matters is the power you put behind it, and apparently you but A LOT behind it.

I'm really sorry you had to experience this. People can be so cruel. This sort of thing angers me so much. I'm not too crazy about the whole labeling thing either and I've had clashes with people about that. In my undergrad program I did a couple of semesters where I worked with kids with autism and my job was sort of as a "play facilitator" - kinda interesting position really. As far as the kids were concerned, I was just another one of the "teachers" or whatever, but one of the things that I did was to help facilitate or encourage social play behaviors. It was a lot of fun and I learned a great deal and I met so many incredible kids. It was part of a research project and I kinda clashed with the lead therapist who seemed really hung up on wanting to focus on labeling and the differences between the kids with autism and the other kids - and the input I had (well, she *asked*) was that these kids need to see their similarities so that gives them a common ground - but they continued with the whole labeling crap. I guess because we didn't see eye to eye, and I was just a student I didn't last very long in the program. It was very frustrating to me though, because it really seemed like the program highlighted the differences between the kids, when the so-called claim of the program was to "normalize" or "mainstream" or the "inclusion" of the kids - and the way to do that is to break down the barriers (at least thats my opinion), and to help these kids see their common ground. Of course, in an age appropriate manner that fits with the age group and the situation. But, what did I know, I was only an undergrad student and hadn't been working on that research. I guess I tend to question too much. I had just built up such a rapport with the kids and their parents - I hated to lose that contact, especially when we'd made so much progress with the kids. Hearing parents be so cruel makes me just want to deck someone. I have a hard time imagining that people can be that ignorant and cruel. I honestly don't understand it. Your position has to be be a tough one - my heart goes out to you. I really do wish the best for you and your family. I'm sending out my positive well wishes for you and your family, and hope the best for you.

I hate reading things like this. People can be so cruel just because someone is different. I myself and disabled i have spina bifida, so i know what its like to be treated different. Its really very sad that people treat someone different just cause they are special needs in some way or another.