The English language can be so confusing!

I got this in my email today from a friend and had to really think about how some of the words would sound. Can you think of anymore examples?


Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is neither egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger,

neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.
French fries weren't invented in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
which aren't sweet, are meat.



We take English for granted. But if we explore its
paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,

boxing rings are square
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.


Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing?

Grocers don't groce, and
hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth,

why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese, so

one moose, 2 meese?

One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid
of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,

what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play

and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Park in a driveway,

and drive on a parkway?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and

a fat chance be the same,

while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites?

You have to marvel at the lunacy of a language

in which your ouse can burn up as it burns down,

in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

People, not computers, invented English and

it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible,

but when the lights are out, they are invisible.



I'm sew confused.....