When someone says that they forgive you, do you then forgive yourself?

i understand exactly how you feel, there was a situation with my boyfriend and he says he forgives me for what i did, but every now and then i keep thinking about what i did and i feel bad. and that makes me think he really doesnt forgive me becuase i dont forgive myself.

I guess it depends on the circumstances. It is always easier when someone else forgives us. The hard part is forgiveness of self. We have to live with the knowledge of a thing longer than others.

No! I can. A sense of guilt persists even years after the incident has happened. Though there are not to many - fortunately.

Oh yes, I debate the topic over and over in my head. Finally I give up and hate the feeling. I had times when I hear the same, they forgive me but I can't get it over myself. I usually ask myself, "how could you do that etc". so it bugs the hect out of me.

Here's a story. Two monks were walking along the side of a river. On the other side of the river was a beautiful girl in a white dress, she needed to cross but could not for fear of getting her dress wet and dirty. One of the monks crossed the river and carried her on his shoulders to the other side. She thanked him and they parted ways. It wasn't long before the monk who witnessed his friend carry the girl said, "It is not right to touch a woman, even if to help, you have broken a vow." The other monk replied, "I put that woman down an hour ago, why are you still carrying her?"

Yes, there have been times when I have been unable to forgive myself for something even though the other person or people involved forgave me. I am too hard on myself in all areas so I try very hard to avoid doing things that I will need to be forgiven for.

At times? I have been like this since birth. I am a perfectionist so when I make mistakes I live with it for the rest of my life. It is nice to hear that they forgive me, but I Never forgive myself.

It's normal to have lingering hurt feeling even after someone apologizes or asks for forgiveness. Just because your feelings are still hurt, doesn't mean that you haven't forgiven the person. I guess that sounds contradictory. It's so easy for someone to hurt feelings and then race back to apologize. It's as if, they are getting a free pass to do the thing all over again, next time. It would be better for the offending person to try to mend their ways and show their sorrow for misdeeds with good deeds to the one they have hurt. Words are cheap, as they say. Deeds prove that we are sorry. That way the person who was hurt could know that it was safe to trust them again! Be well! Don't worry. You're not alone.

Hi cream, for me its not possible, if the person forgives me still i cant forgive myself. it take time to forget my wrong deed, if i remember any sort of wrong deed i still cant forgive myself.

hi cream I too have felt that way at time and wonderd why I could not forgive myself as the others had forgiven me.l think we are always harder on ourselves over something than the person who forgave us cause we did not go to hurt them but did anyway.

I also have a hard time of letting go of guilt when I feel quilty for something. We have to ask for forgiveness and then work on our own forgiveness which sometimes takes a little longer. I often ask God to take my problems into his hands and this includes the guilt that I might still feel even after have asked all involved for forgiveness. This seems to help me, God bless

Yes I will feel sorrowful until it gradually fades away. It is good when I do something and the person that its affect forgives me. But one should not continue to have it in their heart because this will become a stumbling block whenever you want to discuss matters with the other. So if I have be forgiven I try and forget about it. All the best.

yeah...i also experience the same way especially when i did something bad that i really hurt someone then that someone have generously given his or her forgiveness, it makes me really guilty which sometimes i can't hardly forgive myself of doing those stupid things but i just realize that i need to also forgive myself and move on besides the person whom i done wrong already forgive me. For that also, i have already gain some peace inside of me.