In a bind and need some help!

That is a toughy.
That would be a very hard situation. Everyone has the right to be happy in their life. If you are not totally happy the children know. They pick up things.
My daughter can always sense when things are not quite right between my husband and me.
I would have to think really long and hard about what I wanted from my life.
Would I be able to support my children, would I even be able to raise my children?
Does your husband know there are any problems between you two or does he think everything is jut fine and dandy? That should be discussed before you just come out and say you are leaving.
If I stayed in a passionless marriage it would be totally for the kids and that just is not fair to me, my husband, or my daughter.
To do it the right way everything needs to be discussed and figured out for the sake of your children. Figure out as parents how to take care of them, that includes a place for them to live.
That is very hard but that is also what a good parent must do.
My husband and I have been going through some problems and we have dicussed all of this.We have even gone so far as to discuss getting our debt taken care of if we ever did part ways.

I think that you need to talk to your husband and maybe a
marriage consuler and also you need to decide if there is'any hope ofkindling that kind of passion. Otherwise you may need to
think about separating and about eventual divorce.do not stay
married for the kids sakes as this only makes it worse. they
will know you arenot happy. was there passion when you first
got married? Are you sure you are not in love with that friend?
'Can you do this on your own? You need to figure all this out
before making any big decisions.

Just be honest...

and for the kids.. don't start a fight for your kids, try to think of them first..

be honest and take a closer look at your feelings, because you can make a bad step and regret many years later...

you must had a reason to get married in the first place.. and to have kids.. so.. start by that feeling and see if it's worth your risk of a break up at this point.

There are loads of stuff that you can do to improve your relationship, like councils and other stuff.

maybe that should help you out

Were you thinking about leaving your husband before these dreams? Another question, if you do not think you were ever in love with your husband, why get married, you said 10 months after you met. In order to rush into a marriage like that, you should be madly in love.

Well, anyway a dream is a dream. You were probably feeling down and not loved before you went to bed, and came up with this dream. Don't be hasty, you have children at stake.
Talk to your husband about how you feel concerning the lack of passion, maybe counseling will help, also he should stop spending the money the way he does.

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My question to you is what did he say to you when you told him 'I'm in Love with you'

I think our mind plays out our real feelings sometimes in our sleep however I have to say right now that only you can decide what is best for you, while you may love your husband what if you were to leave him for your friend and it did not work out for you,

Are you really saying this because you love the guy, or is there a way to put the spark back into your marriage with your husband?

If you are even serious about leaving your husband you will have to support yourself, and getting a job after this long is not easy at all....

And yes you have the kids to think about,

I wouldn't be leaving my husband, if I were in your shoes, he could make a case, or try to make a case of adultery and go for custody of the kids.....Worst case scenario....

I have heard of people who have left their current spouses to be with their new husbands or true loves, and I have heard of ones that didn't work...

Its a gamble and one you are going to have to think long and hard about, I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can tell you I wouldn't leave my husband for a 'maybe'

Mooch

My question is why did you marry him in the first place if you were not in love with him?

I think you should do some more soul searching and maybe even talk to a theripist to help yuo figure things out. It might be that the problem is with you- and could have nothing to do with your husband-

You might even find out you are in love with him- The passion over time comes and goes in shifts- but the love is always there.

Becareful- Don't look at it like "the grass is always greener on the other side".... I made that mistake- If I had it to do all overagain I would do everything in my power to try to save my marriage- it is such a sacred partnership that should never be taken lightly-

I wish u the best of luck!
-spy

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I can only answer two of your questions though, 1. to start with if there was no passion and love in the relationship to begin with, I would not have married him. If you don't get that firework--slap in the face kind of feeling from the beginning then that should be a sign. 4. Absolutely not. I would not stay with a man that I have no love for just for the kids. It would be too painful for the kids (constantly hearing you fight). What kind of childhood would that be? Now, you may want seriously take a long look at where you are in life and if you honestly feel things can't be worked out then yes, it may be time to leave him.

You are not alone. My husband experienced this with me on the regular, sadly, not too long ago. He told me he wouldn't leave because he's been divorced twice before and just hates it. We have a son together and he has three children from a previous marriage.

He got very depressed and we had to have a very long talk about what we could do to change the situation. So we've started taking more time for ourselves. We go on dates, walks, we talk all the time like we used to when we were dating. We cuddle. We flirt with each other. I have very special outfits that are only pulled out of the closet for my husband's eyes as a surprise, a regular surprise though. LOL It has taken some time, but we're getting the passion back that we had before. Stolen moments in our marriage mean the same and different things than they meant before we were married. We still steal time but now it's: a shower when our son goes down for a nap; dinner and a movie (at home) when my son goes to sleep; touching each other behind my son's back and flirting all the time; constantly telling each other what we like about the other (even if it's just his/her fidelity); holding hands when we go places.

Makes us each feel special and loved. He's also had to up his communication with me. He starting to tell me his feelings more (mostly AFTER I ask him first) which he didn't do. My husband is awesome and very sexy. But he's very male. I've had to learn that the emotional and communicative styles of men and women are VASTLY different. A woman has to learn how to tell her husband exactly what she needs/wants and a man has to tell his wife exactly what he needs/wants. It's the only way.