Getting Upset Because She Can't Do Something

My niece is alot like this also. If she can't figure out how to do something she gets really upset and screams and she says I quit. I try to calm her down and tell her you are doing really good at trying out and then I try to help her and tell her don't feel bad. it takes time to learn how to do certain things. Like tying her shoes for instance.

Well, my daughter does this too, but as she's two and a half we put it down to the terrible two's. I have been told though that the tantrums can go on way past two sometimes. People say that the best way with tantrums is to ignore them, but it's really easier said than done when they are just so distressed, and seem like they're going to make themselves ill over it. Sometimes I just comfort her until she's less distressed. Other times I try to help her with whatever she's trying to do and sometimes this works but sometimes she just wants to be able to do it herself, so it actually makes her even worst. She's just such a perfectionist about some things and she doesn't want my help, even if it's clear that she won't actually be able to do it herself! And this is frustrating for both of us . It sounds like your daughter's very similar. Is she at school/preschool? Have you spoken to her teachers about it? I wonder if she does this there or if it's just at home. Maybe they'd have some suggestions. It's a really tricky one, and I'd be interested to see what other people can suggest as I'm looking for answers too!

I have never been in this situation as a parent, but as a child I would get extremely upset when I couldn' do something I I WAS IN THE PRESENCE O someone whom I felt to be extremely threatening, because I was worried abou their reaction. That's just my experience, and not to say that that is how it is with your daughter, just that when *I* was a child, and reacted that way that's why *I* did it. The best thing you can do or your child is CALMLY tell her hat he doesn't have o react that way, that it's not the end o the world. I you get frustated with her tantrums and panics, she will feel threatened, and the cycle will continue.

My 4 year old has had a few moments when she has a winge or a whine 'I can't do it!', I tend to encourage her saying 'yes, you can!' then I show her how to it and get her to try it and after that I say 'well done!' or 'see, that wasn't so bad' and she gets happy again and proud that she did it in the end or has learnt something new. If I see her struggling with somethig, I will chip in with some help and help her along - nip it in the bud so to speak.. I read a book on toddlers from my local library when mine became one and it helps me understand and cope better with their way of thinking. Not asking you to read a parenting book but have found it did help me as I had no idea what to do when tantrums started so I had to read and it helped big time

My son is about the same age as your daughter. I think it could be just a phase she is going through. I think they might all go through it at one point. My son still gets frustrated if a shoe doesn't go on his foot right away or when he puts on his shirt he will get upset if it doesn't go over his head right away. Then he gets over it later. They probably just want to be independent and do the things that we do, and when they can't they get aggravated. I just try to help him and have a little patience.