Should parents have a say in relationships ie arranged marriage??
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
July 26, 2008 11:06am CST
This thought occurred to me while I was responding about someone who wanted to know why her parents opposed her right to a love marriage after THEY chose a love marriage against opposition from their families.
Why in the world would anybody ever accept hypocrisy like this?? Has anybody heard of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet? On another note, why are so many people sitting there in indecision about something that is honestly only their own choice? Don't you trust your own judgement?
Where I live (in America), our culture is for people to make their own choices. There are very very few instances of arranged marriages here, most of the time those exist within another culture. I understand family is important, but I do not believe that your parents or other relatives could possibly know better than you who and what would be good for you. I would never assume to know what my own kids need as far as a longterm romantic relationship! I want some answers from people who really think they have the right to choose for somebody else! Where in the world do you get off? Would you want somebody ELSE choosing for YOU?
What about just relationships and not marriages? Do you really think your parents, siblings, friends etc GET any say? Does how they feel affect your decision? Should it?
Where I live (in America), our culture is for people to make their own choices. There are very very few instances of arranged marriages here, most of the time those exist within another culture. I understand family is important, but I do not believe that your parents or other relatives could possibly know better than you who and what would be good for you. I would never assume to know what my own kids need as far as a longterm romantic relationship! I want some answers from people who really think they have the right to choose for somebody else! Where in the world do you get off? Would you want somebody ELSE choosing for YOU?
What about just relationships and not marriages? Do you really think your parents, siblings, friends etc GET any say? Does how they feel affect your decision? Should it?1 person likes this
1 response
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
1 Aug 08
I don't agree with arranged marriages or any kind of relationship. People can make their minds and should make their own choices. By the same token they will need to make their own mistakes.
Families however = and usually - have their children's best interests in mind so I have to at least give them some points for caring. This doesn't make it right, just gives us the perspective that is done out of caring.
More over, older people have the benefit of experience and can sometimes see things that we don't notice or even thought about.
I know that it happened with me - not that it would have made me change my mind:) - but the truth is that the things my parents pointed out to me when I decided to get married were to the point and very accurate - and this coming from them that actually liked my husband to be very much.
I didn't pay attention to what they said, of course - it always happens :) - and it really doesn't matter, it wasn't anything serious or that bad, but the fact is that as time passed I learned that they were so right!!!!
So in any case, I don't believe that the family should arrange marriages for their children, but I do believe that it would be beneficial if the children actually listened to some of the things the family members might have to say.
