My daughter is dating a black guy and I don't mind

That's really sad. It's great that you are so open minded but
sad that the grandmother would say something like that to
a 13 year old. There is no excuse for something like that in
this day and age. My roomate/boyfriend? is black and I don't
care what the neighbors or anyone else has to say. It doesn't
bother us so why should it bother anyone else. I haven't
met anyone in his family but we are not in that kind of a
situation that it would matter if they cared either. We are
both grown so it's no one elses business. I feel so bad for
these 2 young kids. They shouldn't have to deal with this
type of racism. They probably don't see anything wrong with
what they're doing. I have never been a racist so I also
never thought anything of dating someone outside my race.
I hope this doesn't effect them so that they change the way
they feel. It really would be a shame.

It is not up to you to do anything but it is up to Curtis and his mom to explain to grandma that he likes your daughter and that race has nothing to do it. They grew up together and if she doesn't change her attitude she will lose the closeness she has with her grandson.All you can do is try to explain to your daughter and make sure she can still see her boyfriend.True they are 13 and this could be just a first crush or it could be a lifetime but it isn't up to grandma or any of the adults to tell them how they should feel.I hope everything is works out.

what you did was the best way to handle it. you understood all the angles to the problems and accepted them the way they are. I hope other people are like you too. Sometimes there are things that are beyond our control and all we can do is wait. I love this blog!

I think its perfectly fine that she is dating a black guy. and the fact that you know who this guy is helps even more. if you can trust the kid and his family then it shouldn't be much of a problem. if i were you i would treat him just like any other human male who would be dating your daughter. its not a big deal. happy mylotting!=]

I think that it was messed up what she said. If someone treated her or some other black person differently because of their race, she would have been angry and yet she is against inter-racial relationships?!! It is racist either way. She is an ignorant old lady. Times have changed being old is no excuse to be ignorant and rude. I wouldnt have taken it so lightly if I were you. How could you not be offended by something like that?! Her actions and bigoted thinking is in no way protecting her grandson and I dont understand what you feel you need to protect your daughter from. Worrying about, and making a big deal out of, things like this is what creates the problems. Stop treating them differently, their relationship is just the same as the relationships of people of the same race. If she says anything else maybe you should tell her about the civil war; I guess she missed that one.

Wow, you are so matured in your thoughts, I mean all of us have kids and as parents, we try to do our best for them but few of us can keep our cool when faced with such discriminatory remarks about our children. And the fact that you understand the old lady so well, her disillusionment and all is all the more commendable. Whoever your kids date, with a mom like you, they will not go very wrong in life.

Race and age should never matter, it is all about compatibility. My boyfriend is four years younger than me and a lot of people were in face for that, but then I reminded people about the men that they were with who were far older than them and of different races. My mother was 20 years younger than my father, my grandmother was 10 years younger than my grandfather (and my grandfather was a quarter Native American), and then a lot of the members in my family are with people who are of different ages and races as well. You have every right to be mad at the Curtis' grandmother for saying such things. By the way, she is not stealing from the race because some black women today are dating white men. How about that? What you do is you tell your children that there are some ignorant people in this world and you just have to defy those people. If she is in love with this boy, then that is the way that it is. You cannot fight your true feelings for someone.

I think that you handle very, very good, and "be treated right" must be the only discrimination, don't care about grandma says, it's not important, important is that the 2 kids like eachother and have fun to stay and play toghether, and I think that it's also positive that Curti's mother came to you for explain..go fort

Nun

You are great mother whose world view is the kind God has wished for humanity! I say this because here in Uganda-while many people the world over grapple with racism, we find ourselves struggling with tribalism-a boy falls in love with another tribe, his parents would seriously oppose the idea, urging him to marry his tribesmate-never mind that they are all black! Now in your case, the normal reaction would be to completely discourage your daughter-but look, it doesnt bother you and that makes you really human!

It is way too early too try and evaluate this situation if it is meant too be it will eventually work itself out in the meantime they should just value their friendship and worry about dating in the future they are too young.