Whose job is it?  

You're so right. I guess if it weren't such an important issue, it would be much simpler. Sadly, it seems that parents these days don't do much in terms of character education. Many are too busy with their jobs and their own lives. Many don't really know what to do. Too many, by far, just don't care. Then their kids act up and they yell at us teachers for not straightening them out better! We all hang in there, though, and take a great deal of joy in those who exhibit positive character!

I think it is the job of both parents and teachers, working together, and in that order. Now the main responsibility, mind you, lies with the parents. Mom and Dad, indeed, are a child's first teachers. And it is Mom and Dad who must teach, both by precept and by example. If you tell your child not to lie, for example, and they see you lying to Mr. or Ms. Bill Collector when they call, or telling the poor child to do so--that creates a conflict. That tells Junior that it is okay to lie one's way out of situations if it will protect oneself, or one's family.

When I have children, I intend to teach them that lying's wrong. Period. If they are caught in a lie, woe will be to them! But in order to be effective in my disciplining of them, I must show that I am honest. I cannot preach telling the truth when I try to get out of paying my bills and lie to keep from doing so. I cannot cheat on my beautiful wife, and lie to cover it up. My wife and, worse yet, the kidlets, sooner or later, will find it out.

If they see me lying and cheating to get my way in life--what's to keep them from cheating on that science test? What would keep them from filing frivolous or fraudulent tax returns when they grow up?

Kids need to be taught that right is right, wrong is wrong, period. Then the correct behaviours need to be appropriately modeled by the adults in the house at all times.

I think it is the job of both parents and teachers, working together, and in that order. Now the main responsibility, mind you, lies with the parents. Mom and Dad, indeed, are a child's first teachers. And it is Mom and Dad who must teach, both by precept and by example. If you tell your child not to lie, for example, and they see you lying to Mr. or Ms. Bill Collector when they call, or telling the poor child to do so--that creates a conflict. That tells Junior that it is okay to lie one's way out of situations if it will protect oneself, or one's family.

When I have children, I intend to teach them that lying's wrong. Period. If they are caught in a lie, woe will be to them! But in order to be effective in my disciplining of them, I must show that I am honest. I cannot preach telling the truth when I try to get out of paying my bills and lie to keep from doing so. I cannot cheat on my beautiful wife, and lie to cover it up. My wife and, worse yet, the kidlets, sooner or later, will find it out.

If they see me lying and cheating to get my way in life--what's to keep them from cheating on that science test? What would keep them from filing frivolous or fraudulent tax returns when they grow up?

Kids need to be taught that right is right, wrong is wrong, period. Then the correct behaviours need to be appropriately modeled by the adults in the house at all times.

Teachers can be helpful with this, too. It is the teachers' and the school district's job to build on the foundation that the parents lay down. As a substitute teacher, my kids get in more in trouble with me if they lie about a thing than actually not having done it. If you tell me you did your homework for today, and I ask you to let me see it--and it turns out you lied--I will impose worse sanctions on you for lying than for the original offense. The regular teacher will have a note left to him or her about that student who lied to me, the substitute. As a parent, my child will get a worse spanking from me for having lied about something than if they had been truthful.

So we wil have better kids if parents and teachers both work together, and are on the same page. I believe that requires communication between school and home.

I wish to apologize to my lot for the double post. I am new to the boards. Please feel free to delete my first post, and don't bother to pay me for it. That was accidental...I tried to edit and ended up duplicating things.

We have an obviously thoughtful newbie among us! AngusIII will be a wonderful addition to myLot!

I teach high school seniors, but they're not too old to learn to improve. They pass what they learn along to younger siblings and friends. If we can inculcate the best, we can get back to the days of far better character. I hope, so, anyway. Still, we're a very diverse community, and I hate to step on someone's toes because I don't know much about their culture.

Thanks for the response.

Thank you, sweet friend. I'm actually quite proud of the way I get along with my students and the ones I continuee to hear from forever after they graduate. I know those precepts reach at least some of them, and I couldn't be happier!

You know, cobra, my son is 27. He tells me now that his favorite teachers were the ones who gave him the hardest time. He knew that they cared. He had a reading teacher in the 7th grade who saw real potential. She was not going to let him slack off in her class. She had him come in early every Tuesday morning and stay after school that afternoon. At the time he thought she was such a mean old woman. By the end of the year, he looked forward to her class. He still goes by her class to see her from time to time. Before he leaves, he always says, "Thank you for caring enough to set me straight. It made a big difference."

As usual, you're so right! I'm sort of stuck, because I can't leave for at least 5 more years. My health is very poor, so nobody in their right mind wuld insure me. At school, they have no choice. Even though they're increasing what we pay for it, it's a small fractionn of what I'd have to pay to keep it until I'm old enouth for Medicare. As much as I love working with the kids, some of them are soooooo rude. The worst of the disrespect and contempt comes from the administrators. I wonder why, the minute they leave the classroom, they forget what it was like. I have one more week off, then I go back to one of the worst principals there is. Oh, well, for the most part, it's just me and the kids, and most of them are a joy!

Well I wish you the very best in your pursute. You are right abou the insurance also. We kept my wifes insurance after we retired and the cost almost tripled when we had to pay for it. As for administrators. They have so many of them no one knows what there jobs are any more. I wish you luck with your school year.

That's why I'm concerned about this mandate that's being issued for us to include character education in our curricula. Miami is a huge multi-cultural place, and each culure has its own slant on character. How can I decide the character components when there are kids in my classes from more than a dozen different countries. Even those from very strict places, who would never dream of misbehaving in the school they came from pick up the slacker attitude and the say-what-you-want, no matter who might think it's good or bad atitude in a heartbeat! I wish the parents would take more responsibility with raising their children! I teach high school seniors, so many of the parents tell me their kids are too old to have to listen to parents! I'm always shocked by that, no matter how many times it happens.

Thanks for the response!

Thank you for the response. I don't think there are any areas left without a lot of misguided kids. Even Amish children were arrested for selling drugs, and I wouldn't have thought that could happen in their culture! I feel sorry for these kids, because once they grow out of showing off for their friends, there's not much under the facade.

I, too, love teaching. For the same reasons you point out, most of my students are respectful and well-behaved. There are some, however, who take bad attitudes with everyone, and when they're sent to the office, there are o consequenses, so they don't straighten out. Those few spoil it for everyone.

There are only a few bad actors, and they are inevitably the ones whose parents don't cooperate with the school. I know what you mean aboutthat fine line in their attitudes toward us. I have to remind some of them I'm not their teen friend, I'm their old lady teacher, because they become presumptuous. I love 'em anyway!

Our rules sometimes conflict with one another, which makes these things more difficult than they need to be. We have to be very careful about not stepping on anyone's toes, and what's right in one culture may be wrong in another. We're supposed to honor their differences while getting them to be some sort of android and all act alike. It's not easy, and without strong teachings in the home, it's really hard!

Misbehavior happens occasionally, and we just deal with it. The problem is to decide upon a student's basic moral guidelines, and it's hard to avoid being wrong when we have so many cultures represented in each class.

Thanks for the response.