N.A and A.A meetings  

Well I have never been to an AA meeting, but I do have a friend who has, I could ask her if you like. As far as raising your hand because you are a first timer there is nothing wrong with doing that because you would not be lying but if you get a chance to speak maybe you can talk about your road to recovery and how you are there to support your boyfriend.

I think it is wonderful you are helping your boyfriend by standing by him and also by being an example to him 6 years clean that is wonderful!

I feel like I can relate to this because I have NOT been to a meeting ever, but am a recovering addict for about the same length of time. I did not go to meetings because I really thought that it would hender me more than help. My goal was to distance myself from people that I knew had a problem like me. I had heard stories of people going to NA or AA to make a connect. Heard about people going off the wagon becasue the met up with an old buddy at the meeting. There are people or probation or parole that are required to go there even though they are still using. I think that if you decide on your own that this is right for you and need the support.. it can be a good thing. However, I think that no one can make that decission for you. If you were struggling with your addiction and someone might suggest it. Of course!
I would feel uncomfortable if my bf tried to force it on me. I understand that he might just want to share it with you. But forcing you to participate doesn't seem appropriate. Good job staying clean and sober! The best of luck.

Hi Ravenladyj, I have never been to an AA meeting either, though I've had friends who did attend. For me there was never a reason, but I've heard a lot of good things about the organization. I can understand your problem here, wanting to help your bf, but not wanting to raise your hand at the meeting. Maybe you could raise your hand but make it clear that you are only there to support your bf, and say nothing about your own addiction, or do they allow other than addicts to attend? Just trying to be helpful here friend. Blessings.

Hello my dear friend. Like you, I to am a recovering alcoholic and addict, but I did attend the meetings. I have been clean for 18 years now but it too was a fluke chance for me to get clean.

I was in the military and was using everyday when my friends would not sell to me or use with me I started finding it other place. There was a program for us enlisted peronnal on drug awareness and they mentioned a sort of get out of jail free card for people who are using to get some help and get clean. Well as you know my addict mind just heard what it wanted to hear and figured I would check it out and try to get help controling my addiction so my friends would use with me more often.

When I was checked into the rehab center and did the intake I even told them this, nothing was said to me at the time I had to stop using altogether or if it was I did not hear it. For the first few days it was mainly group therapy and discussing our past. Which as you might recall was not that pretty with my sexual abuse I endured by my father and brother. Soon we had to start to go to meetings in the public that they transported us to and of course they asked if there were any newcomers here. Sure it was not the most comfortable place to be at the time but you know what it was what I needed. To see some of the people there and be able to speak with them afterwards was great. You do not need to participate if you do not want to. You can just it there and listen to what the other people have to say, their story of recovery and mingle afterwards if you wish to. The whole thing of the AA and NA is the fact they are annonamous and when you leave there what you said there stays there. I have been to many other meetings in my 18 years and would gladly go to one again. If you ever need someone to talk to or just a friend they are always there for you just as I will be here for you too.

If it is just raising yor hand as a newcomer or sharing your story of recovery the experience of being with others who know your struggles and can relate to how you have felt is great. Trust me evreyone that is there was a newcomer at one time and felt the same way as you do. You wil not be singled out as some sort of alien just because you are a first time attendee nor will they post fliers of you around tow if you do not feel like sharing. Go support your boyfriend and keep an open mind ok.

You have to be there to extend your support on his recovery.
Just give in to your boyfriends demands anyways it is not hard
as you think it is. You can do it. It mean so much to him.

It's not going to hurt you to go to a meeeting and participate even if you think you dont need it. I would go to be supposrtive and to just aid in your own continued sobriety also.

The A.A. and N.A. meetings are really pretty low key, at least those I attended several years ago (18 years or so). I would assume it's pretty much the same. I don't know if I agree about their philosophy of "once an alcoholic/addict, always an alcoholic/addict", but that's another story. I don't know if you'll actually enjoy the meeting, but it shouldn't be that bad. I think it shows real character that you are intending to do this for your friend though.

Hi Raven..Congrats on you being dry for as long as you have my sister is an alcholic but has been dry for 2trs now after she nearly lost her life through drink..she never attended AA but was treated by her hosp and GP also she had a lot of support from our family...but she was much like you in a sense she never wanted to get into the 'system' so to speak which I can understand so can understand your problem but its a double one as you b/f has asked this of you..really wish I could help you on this but all you can do if you want to help him is go along and when asked if a first timer though you are you can stand proud if asked and say OU have been dry for the past 6yrs in that wayyou will be not only will you be more encouragement to your b/f but also to everyone else...be PROUD of YOURSELF for being able to do this if you can..I know you have the bottle and strength to do it Raven only its your chice in the end bright blessings littleowl

I've never heard of an alcoholic drinking socially. I thought if your an alcoholic you can't get near the stuff.You drink to be social? My husband joined A.A and I went with him to support him. I really think your are in denial. If you are an alcoholic you need the meetings.I get the impression you can't get into participating because you really aren't ready to face your demons.

I can understand why you might be uncomfortable being there, but let me tell you, nobody there is going to judge or think badly of you for being there, even if you're not in "need" of a meeting. There are many recovered alcoholics who still attend meetings just to help others.

Nobody is going to make you talk about anything you don't want to, but to get the most benefit, it's best to be honest with yourself and everyone else. You can easily say exactly what you said here, "i used to drink and do drugs but have been sober for 6 years, and while visiting my bf came along because he asked me to." Nobody is going to be upset by that, they're going to think, wow, this guy has a good girlfriend!

Personally, i am not a huge fan of aa, but if it is helping and working for your boyfriend, then that is all that matters.