N.A and A.A meetings
By Ravenladyj
@Ravenladyj (22902)
United States
August 14, 2008 7:48am CST
As many or at least some of you, know I am both an alcoholic and drug addict...Now I've been clean for 6 yrs now and drink only socially (though not at all lately for specific reasons) and got clean and sober on my own without attending any meetings of any kind etc etc....Well last night while on the phone with my bf we were talking about his recovery etc and he asked me to go to an A.A meeting with him while I'm there visiting him in a couple weeks.....Initially I said yes thinking that I could go as an observer but then he told me that I'd have to put my hand up when the group leader asks if there are any first timers there...Well in all honesty I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that....so my questions are for those who've attended meetings...and they are the following
- how uncomfortable were you at your first meeting....
- what was your thought about it AFTER your first meeting..
- have you ever attended a meeting NOT becuase you personally needed to but becuase you were there with a loved one who did
- if so, how was it for you
- can you describe what the meeting procedure etc was like in your eyes and would you do it again, recommend it etc etc (remember I'm not in need of meetings myself)
any other comments, suggestions, questions even etc is greatly appreciated.....
I'm all for supporting him in his recovery but for some reason I'm really uncomfortable with the thought of having to actually participate in the meeting itself ya know....
thanks ahead of time to all who respond 
3 people like this
6 responses
@sweetierook (311)
• United States
14 Aug 08
I feel like I can relate to this because I have NOT been to a meeting ever, but am a recovering addict for about the same length of time. I did not go to meetings because I really thought that it would hender me more than help. My goal was to distance myself from people that I knew had a problem like me. I had heard stories of people going to NA or AA to make a connect. Heard about people going off the wagon becasue the met up with an old buddy at the meeting. There are people or probation or parole that are required to go there even though they are still using. I think that if you decide on your own that this is right for you and need the support.. it can be a good thing. However, I think that no one can make that decission for you. If you were struggling with your addiction and someone might suggest it. Of course!
I would feel uncomfortable if my bf tried to force it on me. I understand that he might just want to share it with you. But forcing you to participate doesn't seem appropriate. Good job staying clean and sober! The best of luck.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
14 Aug 08
Oh just so its clear, he's not forcing me by any means...LOL he knows better for starters and he just wouldnt do that...He just asked if I'd go with him..
Like you I've never been to meetings and always felt like it would hinder me for several reasons actually...and yea my method was to partly just get away from not only the ppl but also the places that are my bad scenes ya know...Hell i took it as far as to not only move out of the region but to leave the country LOL BUT there were other factors on that one like my husband being an American for starters LOL..
My bf IS actually on parole but I dont think he is required as part of his terms to attend..I'll have to ask about that though..
Thanks so much for your input and good job to you too btw...
1 person likes this
@littleowl (7157)
•
14 Aug 08
Hi Raven..Congrats on you being dry for as long as you have my sister is an alcholic but has been dry for 2trs now after she nearly lost her life through drink..she never attended AA but was treated by her hosp and GP also she had a lot of support from our family...but she was much like you in a sense she never wanted to get into the 'system' so to speak which I can understand so can understand your problem but its a double one as you b/f has asked this of you..really wish I could help you on this but all you can do if you want to help him is go along and when asked if a first timer though you are you can stand proud if asked and say OU have been dry for the past 6yrs in that wayyou will be not only will you be more encouragement to your b/f but also to everyone else...be PROUD of YOURSELF for being able to do this if you can..I know you have the bottle and strength to do it Raven only its your chice in the end bright blessings littleowl
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
14 Aug 08
Hi Ravenladyj, I have never been to an AA meeting either, though I've had friends who did attend. For me there was never a reason, but I've heard a lot of good things about the organization. I can understand your problem here, wanting to help your bf, but not wanting to raise your hand at the meeting. Maybe you could raise your hand but make it clear that you are only there to support your bf, and say nothing about your own addiction, or do they allow other than addicts to attend? Just trying to be helpful here friend. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208861)
• United States
14 Aug 08
It's not going to hurt you to go to a meeeting and participate even if you think you dont need it. I would go to be supposrtive and to just aid in your own continued sobriety also.
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
19 Aug 08
I don't think you should put your hand up as it would mean that you are asking for their help and support. If you do not want it, then do not do it.
Tell him ahead of time, if you wish. If not, don't. Just tell him when the moment came, you were not interested in being treated as a newbie that needs help.
You can still go as a support person. Just tell him your feelings. He should understand.
