What changed your life?

Or, who changed your life?

I'm going to tell you, I have taken a dramatic change for the better in the past two years or so. I'm not going to say my mommy or my guidance counselor or my uncle caused it. Nobody I personally know. Nobody who has actually been there for me. No.

You know who changed my life? Dr Phil. That's right. I wasn't on his show. But I have been watching it for the past two years or so every day after school. Except when the show is on, say, something completely different than what he normally does. I mostly like the dramatic shows, the ones with real people especially.

It's really not just a show to air out people's dirty laundry, I'm telling you. It's for people with similar problems to learn from it. It's not all ratings. I know some must be ratings, but not all. I mean, they even give free tickets to the show. They're not all money hungry. They do what they have to, you know?

Okay, so about my life. I was really really shy and reserved and afraid of people for most of the time, especially in middle school. I was always known for being weird and drawing well, but nobody really knew me or talked to me, and I didn't talk to them. Friendly people would try to talk to me, but I would freeze up and not know what to say.

I mean, I don't know what it is. But when my heart goes crazy and I feel like I might not be able to stand up, it's really hard to talk to someone. I'm trying to overcome it each day. Dr Phil has never really done a show about this specifically, but he has taught me that you have to be aware of what you're doing and why you're doing it.

I tried to rationalize my fears of rejection and being hated. I realized that being the youngest child, I had to please my older brothers. I had to make them like me, and I had to make sure they didn't think I was annoying, though I often was, just because I was a little child.

I think it's the anxiety to be accepted, but still be oneself. I think I gave up on trying to be liked. I'm working on it! I'm letting the other person perform for once, watching and just easing back. I feel so much better. I'm not completely out of my shell, but I am more outgoing than I have ever been before. I don't feel quite so suppressed anymore, not quite as afraid to make a fool of myself. I feel wonderful.

Dr Phil changed my way of thinking, and I swear by it. I think anyone should watch his show once in a while, some are different than others. He really does know what he's doing, and I'm impressed by him. He's not a god of knowing and understanding people and I occasionally disagree with his standpoints, especially about raising teenagers, but really, he teaches people to wake up and change their lives and take a different perspective. Sometimes it's just the thing!