sign in • sign up
web   discussions   tasks   blogs   photos

Wedding Blues? What would you do?  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 297 out of 19,211 in relationships 3 years ago

I was watching this series on TV about how you can make your dreams come true if you pursue them with determination.

In the series, one of the sub plots has this man who was about to marry his child hood love. During the days that led up to the wedding day, his fiancee did many things that made him wake up from his dream state.

She was possessive and full of opinions about what he should and should not do.
She even go to the extend of checking his emails and replying to them on his behalf.
And listen to his phone calls, read his messages and then reply to them as she deemed fit.
Replacing everything and anything in his home that identifies his presence into something she feels SHOULD be in a home.
He was troubled by her possessiveness. And as the days go by, he does not seem to have a say in anything with regards to the wedding or the home which he is suppose to share with his fiancee after the wedding.

Even the bed room where he sleeps as a bachelor was redesigned to include her presence in ever corner of the room.
Feeling overwhelmed, when asked by the pastor whether he as any doubts or forever to hold his peace, he broke that peace. And apologized to his fiancee and left her at the altar.

I know it is an embarrassing episode in the shoes of the bride.

Now, my question is this. Regardless of whether you are the man or the woman on the wedding day. If you are caught in a position like that man, where you suddenly see a different side to your future spouse, and you know that you cannot imagine living a life that is so restrictive, what would you do?

Would you back out of the wedding so that both of you can lead your own life without all the messy entanglements with the law with regards to divorce and other seperation red tape?
OR
Would you go ahead with the wedding, citing the wedding planning rush as an excuse for your significant other's eccentric behavior, and that everything would be better after the wedding?


Wedding Blues
 

relationships
sponsors
Struggling with ADHD?
Consultations with ADHD Doctor $20 OFF! Don't Qualify? Don't Pay
www.OneCareMedicalCenter.com

Empowering Relationships
And You Since 1991,Life Coach/Therapist/ Minister,Free Session
www.mylifecoach.us

Kissing Tips For Women
9 Proven Kiss Tips You Can Use To Make Any Man Fall In Love With You
CatchHimAndKeepHim.com

User has not selected a best response.
tags:  marriage, ahgong, altar, blues, cancel
 
1. myLot reputation of 98/100. katsalot1 (932)   3 years ago

I would definitely call the wedding off. If you realise that the person you are marrying is not the sort of person you could share your life with, then there is no point at all in marrying them. It might be embarrassing for the other person, but it would be wrong to go ahead with it. Marrying them would only be the start of a very unhappy life for both.


myLot reputation of 97/100. rmuxagirl (6855)   ranked 3,740 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

I would h ave to agree that I would call the wedding off. I couldn't imagine living my life with someone like that. It may be embarassing and hurtful, but it would be best in the end for both parties to end the relationship before it got worse and there was resentful feelings.


myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 297 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

Yes... the question is, would you do it before the wedding day? As in call it off before the wedding day itself?
Or would you wait till the day you are about to exchange your vows?

Struggling with ADHD? Consultations with ADHD Doctor $20 OFF! Don't Qualify? Don't Pay  www.OneCareMedicalCenter.com
 
2. myLot reputation of 95/100. zweeb82 (1894)   ranked 3,831 out of 19,211 in relationships   3 years ago

HahalolIf things were never OK before the wedding as for this case, it will never be after it unless the silly guy speaks up. It's just clearly a communication breakdown. Wow, looks like the girl here is depicted as the devil!~ Which idiot in his right mind would want to have the devil as his briderasplol


myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 297 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

Which is why he walked out of the wedding just after the pastor read the vows. And he renegated on his vows and walked out, leaving her at the altar.
And boy was she mad!


myLot reputation of 95/100. zweeb82 (1894)   ranked 3,831 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

Well, he should have talked to her prior to the wedding but not on the day itself. But I guess that was better than having both parties suffer after the weddingdohthumbdown


myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 297 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

I guess telling her to cancel the wedding is a difficult thing to do. That is why he kept putting it off. Yet at the same time, he cannot foresee going thru with the wedding. Especially during the vows taking with the pastor.

That is why the groom walked out of the wedding. First time I heard of a run-a-way groom! lol


myLot reputation of 95/100. zweeb82 (1894)   ranked 3,831 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

HahalolIt's mostly stories about the bride that runs away, hahalolBut then again it's not right for him putting it off anyway but he should have just speak out his mind!~rasp

Empowering Relationships And You Since 1991,Life Coach/Therapist/ Minister,Free Session  www.mylifecoach.us
 
3. myLot reputation of 95/100. kun2349 (10498)   ranked 1,037 out of 19,211 in relationships   3 years ago

I will not back out on the day itself, unless i'm really left with no choice.. Because it's gonna be so embarassing for just for me, but definitely for the bride.. If i'm not happy with certain things, and the way things are going, i will make sure i resolved them before the wedding.. I dun believe in things getting better after marriage, because if it does not work before marriage, how high is the possibility for things to work out after marriage??

To me, things will only get worst, and instead of dragging on the unhappiness, why not let it go before things turned ugly ^_^


myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 297 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

Yeah. That would be a better way to get things resolved.
happy


myLot reputation of 95/100. kun2349 (10498)   ranked 1,037 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

Yeah ^_^ Better to let it go when it's early and even though one dun care about our own pride, we have to think about the other party as well, as they are the ones we loved and thus we are standing there together, ready to take the oath..

THus, there's no reason to treat them that way by walking out of the wedding on the day itself.. And if we respect them, this kind of thing should not even cross our mind at all..


myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 297 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

There is a chinese saying "Xiang jian rong yi, xiang chu nan"... it is easy to be going out together. But when you stay under the same roof, it is a totlly different story.

And in the story, after the two of them came together under the same roof, then he realized how possessive she can be.
In such a situation, I am sure many people caught in the same plight will feel troubled as well.


myLot reputation of 95/100. kun2349 (10498)   ranked 1,037 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

Yeah, that's why i will walk out and back out from the marriage before the ceremony takes placem rather than on the wedding day itself ^_^

Kissing Tips For Women 9 Proven Kiss Tips You Can Use To Make Any Man Fall In Love With You  CatchHimAndKeepHim.com
 
4. myLot reputation of 93/100. eeyore39 (3181)   3 years ago

I do backing out is the way to go. If you can see that things will not be as you thought even before the marriage it will even get worse after so go on home. It may hurt someone temporarily but it will save them in the future.


myLot reputation of 99/100. ahgong (3967)   ranked 297 out of 19,211 in relationships  3 years ago

Yeah, that seems to the correct way to deal with such a situation.
Problem is, you may see it as a quick way to and end. The other party may not and may even create problems for you after the whole episode is over.

The embarrassment, the shame, the humiliation of being left on the altar.


myLot reputation of 93/100. eeyore39 (3181)  3 years ago

I guess those are things that should be weighed over in the decision making.

How to Fix Your Marriage. There are 7 Secrets - Get 'em Free. Alternative to Marriage Counseling  www.MarriageMax.com/Free-Help
 
sponsors
How to Fix Your Marriage.
There are 7 Secrets - Get 'em Free. Alternative to Marriage Counseling
www.MarriageMax.com/Free-Help

Find a Marriage License
Search marriage records by name. The US marriage records directory.
marriage.recordsdatacenter.com

Local Marriage Counseling
Find Marriage Counseling Near You. See Actual Customer Reviews!
Local.com

similar discussions
Prenuptial Agreements
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement? If so ,why? Or if not, why? Me? I would. Marriage to an...
"when you are married, love's in the past?" say what?
I was looking for a topic and found one in a response to discussion on valentine's day. this person...
Why Filipinas love to marry foreigners?
Personally, i don't want to marry a foreigner. One of the reasons is that i don't want to adjust in...
bieng a good spouse
does being a good spouse means sacrificing your job for the sake of the other?...
making an effort to keep the marriage alive
For the marriage to be always alive, both the couple should make an effort to keep it alive....
Is it wrong? to have a GIRLFRIEND after marriage
Dear Friends, Most us used to have some of good experiences like married peoples used to have in...
how to make a marriage successful?
in our world of changing standards,marriage is no longer held in high esteem. many couples stay...
You both lovers decide to marry but the GIRL cant marry due to Family situation!
I have a very close friend.He has a lover and they are in DEEP LOVE since 2 years.They are decided...
What is the biggest sin your spouse could committ in your relationship?
For many people, the obvious answer to my question would be cheating or infedelity. For others, it...
Whats your take on husband and wife working same company?
We met at our office, became friends, fell in love and now got married. I'm under his team from the...
sponsors
How to Fix Your Marriage.
There are 7 Secrets - Get 'em Free. Alternative to Marriage Counseling
www.MarriageMax.com/Free-Help
Find a Marriage License
Search marriage records by name. The US marriage records directory.
marriage.recordsdatacenter.com
Local Marriage Counseling
Find Marriage Counseling Near You. See Actual Customer Reviews!
Local.com
Save Your Marriage
Simple Steps to Save Your Marriage. 5 Free Tools with Marriage Advice!
www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com
marriage records
4,000,000,000 Names. Birth, Death, Marriage, Divorce. 3-Day Free Trial
FamilyLink.com/marriage_records
Indiana 72 Hr Dissolution
State-specific IN divorce online $149 guaranteed. Print-sign-file.
www.helpyourselfdivorce.com
marriage records
Get an instant background check with marriage records. Search free.
www.usamarriagerecords.com
return to mylot
We are loading a word from our sponsors. No thanks, cancel loading.