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Will you leave your partner should he / she has no capacity to bear a child?  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships 3 years ago

I know some who said they don't want to have a child because their sexy figures will be lost. There are also some whose reason is they do not want to be tied-up at home taking care of the kids. They are the people who have the capacity to give birth but choose not to.

But what if you want to have kids and have dreamed of having one big happy family since kids but your partner has no capacity to produce a child? Are you going to leave him / her because of it? Are you going to look for somebody who can fulfill that dream of yours? Please let me know?

 

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tags:  child, love, partner, children, 81237
 
1. myLot reputation of 99/100. cbeee3 (1098)   ranked 1,569 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

I would never leave him because of an issue like this.
What if it were me in his place? Would I want my partner to walk away? No!

I would in fact be even more supportive of him and would talk to him about adopting children. There are so many children born into this world, who don't get the love they deserve. That is where my focus would go next.

Happy myLotting! Nice topic.


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

I like your response. Yeah, that is true. What if it was you instead of him? :D
I actually know some couples who despite of not having a child of their own are happy. Some adopted a child from an orphanage while some are still in the process of trying to get a child. My friend, which is the female one, does not like artificial insemmination. She still prefers to have a child the natural way. They have been trying for ages but still to no avail. But then again, they are happy. Like what you have mentioned, the key is to become supportive to the one who needs it. And of course communication and love. As love will conquer all!


myLot reputation of 99/100. zed_k4 (7705)   ranked 416 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

CB, nice Angelina Jolie's kind of thinking there...good answer..wink


myLot reputation of 99/100. cbeee3 (1098)   ranked 1,569 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

@chikadee21ph:
Glad to know you think the same way.thumbup

@zed:
You always have something to say to me, don't you!glarerasp


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

@ZED and ZB...

Hmmm... I smell something fishy...lol! I can smell romance. Come of think of it. That's possible. A romance that blossoms from MyLot? Why not? :D


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

Sorry sister. Cbeee3 not ZB. Peace :D


myLot reputation of 99/100. cbeee3 (1098)   ranked 1,569 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

@chikadee21ph:
That is ok about the ZB and CB mix up.lol

Oh and that fishy smell is not romance, it is just a fish!
Isn't it zed ?raspblink


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

Thanks sis! :D

Hmmm, Zed is taking a while to comment. Maybe he is analyzing what the score really is. Then he will realize that indeed, a romance is about to begin. Then the fish? The fish is in the process of being cook into a relationship or maybe love...lol! ;)


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2. sarahrainbow (82)   3 years ago

To leave your parter only because he/ she has no capacity to bear a child? I think it's ridiculous.

Though I'm single, I believe people step into marriage for love, not for producing a child. If I left my partner, the only reason would be love was gone.

In the case you describe, I would choose to adopt children or produce children by artificial insemination. I think every problem occurred in marriage will eventually get solved as long as the couple are in true love.


sarahrainbow (82)  3 years ago

Perhaps I made a mistake: you refer to " relationship " instead of "marriage", but my answer remains the same, only replace "marriage" with "relationship", that's my response.


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

I am glad to hear that you are not the type of person who will live her partner for not being able to fulfill one aspect of your marriage and That is having a child.

I don't know someone in particular who had an experience with this but personally, i believe that if a person left his / her partner for being ill-barren, then, the love is not enough to understand the situation. :)

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3. myLot reputation of 76/100. georginaswift86 (100)   ranked 7,791 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

I would not leave my partner as I would not expect them to do this to me.

I have always been fond of the idea of adoption so being able to fall back on this would not be considered a bad thing.


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

That's true. Also, by adopting someone from an orphanage, it is not only you and your husband who will benefit from it. The child whom you will choose will also benefit as the child will experience the true sense of having a family. A better life also awaits for the child. :)

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4. ezekiel71 (71)   3 years ago

i will not leave him , there are a lot of options that we can do to have a baby. I love him for who he was and i will stick to him no matter what. We can adopt babies or have AI as long as we agree on which one is better for both of us.
Its another thing if he just dont want to, which i think i should know even before we get intimate into our relationship. Its one thing to be incapable of having a baby and another thing of not wanting to get tied-up of having kids.


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

That's the spirit girl! I am with you on that. I am glad to hear that you will not leave your husband as well should this particular scenario happens to you. Indeed, love conquers all!

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5. ahmeertahmad (46)   3 years ago

I lost my father at a very tender age. Due to this trauma, I feel a strong desire to have a fairly large family and to excel at parenting. In a nutshell, the number one thing I want in life is a family. If my partner couldn't provide me with children of my own I would be just fine with adopting. Would it provide the same pleasure as having children of my own? I'm not sure. But if it's one thing I've learned over the course of my life it's that blood isn't the most important thing in the world to put stock by.


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

I am sorry to hear that ahmeertahmad. It is really painful to lose someone you love at a very young age.

Personally, the hapiness that you will have in raising your own flesh and blood is not the same when you are taking care of an adopted child. For me, no one can replace our own child.

I am curious to know why you said blood isn't the most important thing in the world to stock by. Maybe you have a big reason why you said that. For me, it is still blood that matters although I am fine with adopting a child.


ahmeertahmad (46)  3 years ago

I have had close experience myself and through other loved ones that blood can sometimes betray you. We're all human, some of us try to be good and others are content with being malicious. I've seen or felt far too much abuse from "family" to convince myself that everyone around me values family like I do and that includes the very people in my family. Bad people are bad regardless of who they're related to.

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6. myLot reputation of 74/100. goldeneagle (5503)   ranked 3,962 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

I don't want any children, so this wouldn't be much of an issue for me. I am trying to get my wife to have her tubes tied so that we do not have to worry about it anymore. With all the adoption, sperm donors, and surrogate mother programs available, it would take a pretty shallow person to leave their mate simply because they can not have a child or father a child.


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

Interesting response you have in there.But indeed, everyone has our own preferences. You prefer not to have a child and I respect you.

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7. myLot reputation of 65/100. bluerlyn (120)   3 years ago

no, i will stick it out with him after all what if im the one in that situation? of course i would not want to be left behind because of something like that.


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

I agree. And also, let us be glad that we are not in this situation and that it is only a sample scenario. :)

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8. myLot reputation of 88/100. cindystoufflet (197)   ranked 10,133 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

What happened to discussions before marriage. Isn't that what dating is for. Before you marry someone. Arn't you supposed to discuss what your plans for the future are. Why marry someone that has different plans. That is a sure road to divorce. I don't understand young people not just of today but this is the way it has been forever or else the divorce rate would not be so high. So please you young people discuss what you want for the future if you don't want kids make that known before you get married. If you want to put your career first make that know. If you want to grow old together you have to do it together.

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9. myLot reputation of 95/100. Ithink (1502)   ranked 3,561 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

I can honestly say I would not have left my husband if we couldnt have had children. We love each other and that is what marriage is about in my eyes. It shouldnt be just to reproduce. I think we would have just enjoyed each other and gone on with our lives. We enjoy each other and love each other.

Besides there are so many different options if you really want a child and cant have one.


myLot reputation of 95/100. chikadee21ph (287)   ranked 4,381 out of 19,197 in relationships  3 years ago

True. There are indeed a lot of options out there. Like you, I will not leave my husband should he not capable of giving me a child. What matters most is the two of us although I admit that our own child in our family will surely make our lives happier. Nonetheless, there are indeed a lot of options out there.

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10. myLot reputation of 97/100. bing28 (2513)   ranked 3,846 out of 19,197 in relationships   3 years ago

I don't think so, although for others not having a child is a big issue but for me in case that's the situation, nothing will change. I will love my husband more to let him feel, our love for each other is enough for us to live happily. Now is he suggest we will adopt a child, I will surely agree.

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