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You Could Have Blown Me Over With A Feather  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life 3 years ago

Sometime ago I did a discussion about how my mother's lies still haunt me...my mother was a pathological liar, especially spreading a lot of lies about me just to make her look better and me some kind of candidate for the daughter from hell award. When I learned from a friend of mine who confided about the lies my mother was telling, I had my work cut out for me, trying to settle things and tell people the truth and thankfully when they heard my side of the story they began to realize what a liar my mother had been-----all save two people.

In my other discussion I related how I was out on errands and bumped into this woman Linda (about my age) who is the daughter of a woman (Edith) who have lived in my neighborhood a long time...as long as I have (48 years)--I went to elementary school with Linda's sister. When Linda saw me that day she practically ran away from me, yet yelled at me "I'm not speaking to you." I yelled back to her, "Why not?" She replied, "Your mother told us how you abused her." And she made a bee-line away from me before I could settle things and tell her the truth.

Anyway, all this time I was thinking of sending a detailed letter to both Linda and her mother to tell them what really happened and that my mother was a pathological liar living in her own twilight zone. Then today, I went out for some errands and lo and behold saw Linda...I was going to skedaddle quickly by her and not say anything...but then thought, shat, let me settle this NOW.

Linda saw me approaching her and before I had a chance to say one word.....she APOLOGIZED for her behavior. My jaw dropped I think. She told me that day I bumped into her she was in a real stressed out frenzy---she began relating all the health problems her mother (Edith) had been having for the past month--first hospitalized, then placed in a nursing home then hospitalized again and back to a nursing home. So we started yaking some more, and then I started telling her about my mother, her behavior, and what a liar she was and this and that. There was a lot more I wanted to say, but a downpour of rain was about to happen (again) but we shook hands and called a "truce" and had we both had a better understanding of things between us.

Going home I was practically doing a Happy Feet dance (people must have thought I was weird)---but just couldn't believe my luck that an "opening" resulted, and all due my gearing up, and approaching Linda the way I did--I was expecting an argument from her again.

Have you ever had a misunderstanding between you and another person? Were you able to set things right and get things out in the open the way I did? Did you do a Happy Feet dance when it was resolved?

 

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byfaithonly (6284) response was accepted on 6/26/2009.
denotes best response, click it to go to the best response.
tags:  lies, an opening, apology, bad, communication
 
1. myLot reputation of 99/100. ElicBxn (24693)   ranked 106 out of 32,962 in life   3 years ago

I've never had anything quite like you have, but I'm glad you are beginning to get it worked out.


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

I'm glad I had the uh...balls to approach her. I'm not one for fights or confrontations and didn't know what to expect when I approached Linda--reason why I was flabbergasted when she apologized to meninja

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2. myLot reputation of 99/100. Opal26 (14496)   ranked 377 out of 32,962 in life   3 years ago

Hey pye! That is such wonderful news! I am so happy for you
that you were finally able to straighten things out with Linda!
I know how much it bothered you to not be able to say what
you want to that day and how badly you felt being attacked by
her when you knew that she was wrong and needed to explain
things to her about your mother! I am glad that you two were
finally able to get things out in the open and she gave you
the opportunity to say what needed to be said! I don't blame
you for wanting to do the "happy dance"! You deserve it! Your
mother's ghost doesn't need to haunt you now too! She did
enough damage while she was here on earth! You should feel
so much better and relieved that this happened the way it
did today! Timing is everything!


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

Talk about being at the right place at the right time, right? Today must have been a good day going for me all way round. Another happy event happened too. I had been trying to contact a friend of mine...kept calling, emailing. This went on a whole month..nothing...no answer either from phone or emails so was worried about her--a few hours ago, she called me! thumbup happy

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3. myLot reputation of 100/100. PeacefulWmn9 (3480)   ranked 38 out of 32,962 in life   3 years ago

Yes, I have had similar experiences when I divorced, and my ex spread many untrue rumors. I live in a small town, so many business and other people heard these rumors. I didn't address them, didn't pay any attention. As the months went by and we each lived our lives (he and I), the truth could be seen! People started speaking to me again, and even saying they knew what I'd been through and were so happy at how I had dealt with it.

Happy feet, here, too :D


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

I'm glad things worked out with you. Living in a small town I guess can even make it worse since if I know human nature people just LOVE to gossip--I don't live in a small town but the apt building is full of gossips..the worse is my super who just LOVES being the National Inquirer here...LOL


myLot reputation of 100/100. PeacefulWmn9 (3480)   ranked 38 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

LOL, and I imagine your super is self-appointed to spread the word. I live in an apartment, too, and am fortunate to have wonderful neighbors!

Karen

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4. myLot reputation of 78/100. Strongheart (1078)   3 years ago

I remember reading that topic and I'm glad to hear that things turned out so well! I can't remember the last time that I had a resolution this good but I know it makes me very happy when things turn out better than I expect and am sure you are very pleased! Congrats!


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

And just think I wasn't even planning on going out today at all...so guess a true case of being at the right place at the right timethumbup


myLot reputation of 78/100. Strongheart (1078)  3 years ago

That makes it an even better victory huh! I hope you are able to overcome the nastiness left behind very soon. No one should have to live with that! happy

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5. myLot reputation of 97/100. BarBaraPrz (6661)   3 years ago

Glad to hear you straightened out things with Linda.


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

Thanks...I'm glad too..happy

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6. myLot reputation of 98/100. dreamweaverjan (1513)   ranked 2,624 out of 32,962 in life   3 years ago

HI Pye;, Well that's some good news for a change huH?? I bet you did do a
"HAPPY FEET DANCE" LOL!! I can just sorta picture you doing that too (G)!

Hopefully you will see her again and can even more of a detailed discussion and really get it all out in the open and settled;

I'm glad it all worked out for you this time around when seeing her;

hang in there!!! happy thumbup


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

Yes there was a lot more I wanted to talk about but like I said it looked as if a torrential storm was going to come down...uh, and not five seconds at home it did rain...again. But at least this was a start, right?

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7. myLot reputation of 97/100. AmbiePam (20787)   ranked 374 out of 32,962 in life   3 years ago

I'm glad she apologized. And it was also big of you to accept her apology.


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

Well like I said you could have blown me over with a feather and I was expecting maybe another tirade....instead she apologizedhappy

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8. myLot reputation of 99/100. scarlet_woman (11395)   ranked 20 out of 32,962 in life   3 years ago

wow-that's rare to get an apology.doesn't excuse her for lashing out because of her own problem though.ah well..lil' steps,i guess happy

yea,i've been in a one sided fight with somebody about 4 1/2 years now.
it is one sided,though they think it's two.i'm not apologizing-he's wrong,and being paranoid to boot.the spouse has probably always hated me when i look back on it.
so,i guess i'm an "enemy" til further notice.

big dose of whatever at this point,y'know.it's just sad.


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

Oh I've been known to lash out myself at times when something is going on in my life...LOL
Hope you can somehow gets things settled with your "Paranoid" person--that is if you really want to???blink


myLot reputation of 99/100. scarlet_woman (11395)   ranked 20 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

*sigh*..i don't know if it can be repaired at this point.
if it were between two people maybe,but with the third there i doubt it.
one of those that just looks for fault,any fault.
and i still don't consider myself an enemy,regardless of what they think presently.

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9. myLot reputation of 97/100. sarahruthbeth22 (15807)   ranked 335 out of 32,962 in life   3 years ago

Yes, I have that happened. In fact it went so well that I can't tell you what was the beef. But it did work out great and I didn't have to explain too much , as I remember.it is great when all well that ends well.


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

I'm glad to hear you had a positive experience as well and everything worked out for you...is a great feelingthumbup

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10. myLot reputation of 84/100. guybrush (3475)   ranked 2,510 out of 32,962 in life   3 years ago

I'm SO glad you had the chance to sort out the misunderstanding with Linda, Pye. I thought it was horrible at the time to have someone think bad (and untrue) things about you - and it's great to know Linda obviously had other things on her mind at the time, and was probably just blowing off steam. It's an excellent feeling when you can put things straight - I was very, VERY happy when my daughter decided to speak to me again after three years' silence - and I definitely DID do a Happy Feet dance in my head, if not on the ground!


myLot reputation of 98/100. pyewacket (12221)   ranked 239 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

Wow your daughter didn't talk to you for three years? Glad for you that things got straightened out between the two of youthumbup


myLot reputation of 84/100. guybrush (3475)   ranked 2,510 out of 32,962 in life  3 years ago

I'm glad, too. Stupidly, I'd pressed 'send' on an email, telling her a few home truths. Sometimes that's not a wise thing to do - in the days of letters and postage stamps, we would have had plenty of time to think about whether we REALLY wanted to send something. Email is far too convenient ... and dangerous.

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