The 4th of July Is My Holiday With My Daughter....

First, remember that she is 8 and at her age she's not exactly concerned with anyone's feelings but her own. That's how kids that age are. They'll go wherever they're permitted and have as much fun as possible. I'm 99.99% sure that she never guessed that your feelings were hurt, although it's natural for them to be.

This is something you need to take up with your ex in a non-confrontational way. His providing her what you are unable to ruined your day and robbed you of time with your daughter. Ask him to avoid that in the future but be sure to tell him that you know he didn't do it in order to hurt you--I'm sure he didn't realize he was taking time away from you.

Things are always tough when you're short of cash and all around you things cost money. Kids don't understand that.

I hope you all enjoy the fireworks together. Don't make a big deal of it with your daughter, she'll not even remember the details of the day a few years from now but she will remember your anger if you show it.

I think u have every right to be mad at both of them. I don't guess there is much u can do w/him but me & that yound lady would have a serious talk. BEING NOSY here but why does he have custody anyway. A child needs to be w/their mother especially a little girl i would think. He seems to do u this way all the time. THINK IT'S TIME Y'ALL HAD A TALK TO.

I think your daughter is being a normal 8 year old. She just wants to play and enjoy the day. I can see why you are mad, but that happens as a mother a lot whether you are divorced or not. So many of us women feel left out because of the money issue. I think it is always good for a woman to have skills so that she can have her own income. All in all, I hope you can still enjoy the day and let the rest of this go so that the next time you get your daughter can be better for all of you.

I am so sorry that it didnt work out for you today. Is there a court order stating the arrangements for your daughter? If there is then he is breaking it. He shouldnt be overstepping the mark on your quality time with your daughter. I would be more frustrated with your ex though and not your daughter. She is too young to understand what he is up to. In her eyes he can do no wrong .

Hi singlemommy,


I blame your ex being there instead of letting you spend time with your daughter he was there to spend it with her, that is not fair and you can't blame your daughter for it, but I can understand how you feel, talk to your ex and tell him how you felt and next thime you have your eight years old let her know you love her and like to spend time with her but don't tell her how you felt on the day as its not her fault and she only feel torn between the two of you, but its your ex that needs a good telling off.


Tamara

I totally understand your frustration. Kids want to be where the action is out and be with whoever is taking them to do whatever they want. My daughter is like that also. She would much rather give my husband or someone else attention than to give it to me, the one who provides for and disciplines her. I have gave into my daughter several times too but it only gets worse. I would demand she stay with you and the ex can either like it or lump it!

You must have alot of restraint for you not to blow up..I would have been really pissed and pulling the ex aside to strip a bit of hide of someone's arse..be it his or the daughters. She was very inconsiderate of you. Ex should have talked to her. It's sounds as though you had one miserable day for sure. I would tell him I want another day to replace this one..

hi simglemommy, my parents divorced when I was not quite 2 and so I know what you talk about. Here it was the other way round my mother had custody for me and my father lived in another city a 30 minutes drive from where we lived so when it was "Father time" I had to go to him whether I wanted to or not and most of the time this was not a good time for me at all. He remarried a b!tch he was working with and she made my life he11 there.
I think you are not right in being mad at your daughter you cant expect her with 8 years old to tell her own father who has custody for her that this is her MOM day and she wants to stay with you.
But it is right that you are mad at your ex´for messing up and stealing your mother daughter day from you.

aw, singlemommny, that sounds tough. First of all, don't feel guilty about your emotions over this. They are natural and you have a right to them. Second, I commend you for keeping your cool. You could have blown up at your ex and forced your daughter to stay with you, or go home with you and your son, but she wouldn't have understood the dynamics of the situation. She would have felt that she did something wrong when she hadn't. I think maybe your ex wasn't thinking beyond the the fact that he wanted to see his daughter have fun on the 4th? He just went about it the wrong way. You should talk with him, most definately. But it needs to be done in a calm and rational manner otherwise he won't take you seriously. He should have approached you and asked you if these things were okay before he took actions, that's what you have to make him understand.

Heyya singlemommy! I would be pissed too. That is your time with your daughter and how dare him take that from you. As far as the girl..well...she is only 8 and doeasn't think about the things that you do. She doeasn't have the emotional capabilities yet to understand that it hurts your feelings..she just sees fun fun fun. Dad on the other hand is a jerk. Dad knows full well and probably done it for spite. I think I would tell him a thing or two about that. Are you documanting these incidents? You should..just in a notepad or on a sheet of paper. Times,dates,what happened. These documentations can be very important if you ever go back to court for anything. He can't deny them and it shows he breaches agreements. Take care.