if you love someone, does that mean u become there victim as well?  

When you love someone, you expect them to be your partner in life. Your companion to be there when you need them, to be there for them, when they need you. Your best friend.
You are not a rubber mat, to be walked on.
You are not a sounding board.
You are not a ball, to be kicked around.
You are not, to be hit on and yelled at.
You may have found out some things now, that could affect you, for the rest of your life. Consider wisely.

hi dloveli, my husband is disabled and I live with that walking on eggshells as well most of the time. Its not easy to excuse all that trash happening with "it just was a bad day for him or he is in a bad mood for whatever". Sometimes I also have to show him boundaries he should not step over.
If I were in your shoes I would thoroughly talk these things through with him before getting married cause it is not good and right that he even sets standards for your kids in the first place.You are their mom and are primary in deciding what they can and cant do.

Well,to be honest,I don't like this kind of men.We are individuals.We are not supposed to be controlled all the time.Yeah,for the relationship,we have to sacrifice something.But loving somebody doesn't mean we have to listen to them all the time.We have the right to make our own decisions.And a real man should respect his partner's choice.Maybe sometimes we make wrong decisions,then the partners should discuss with us,not just ordering us what to do.
The two things you mentioned in your discussion,I think you made the right decisions.That's what we should do.Through your description,I think he is very rude.He doesn't know how to respect others.And he will become angry when you don't listen to him.Maybe you can talk to him about this,and tell him you are really hurt by his behaviors.If he loves you,I think he will take a consideration.If he still yell at you,then it means he cares more about his authority than you.Do you really want to live with a guy who want you to always listen to his orders?
He needs to grow up.He is not just a son any more.He is going to be a husband and a father,he should take up his responsibilities.He should know that you are not like his mother.You are a individual.And you are not supposed to be the one who also spoil him.

that's rude..despite of the compliments that you said about him, i think he still needs to have an Attitude adjustment, this kind of behavior shows a bit of his ego and pride..and knowing he feels insecure about being not paid attention to since he hasn't been in a mood, that's probably gonna be a problem in the future..i think he's the one with the problem, and it has to changed, it's no longer the favorite son attitute, he's a man and a husband, he is at that stage where he should let go a bit of his ego and think about your happiness all the time.but there's saying, you can't teach old dog new tricks, it basically reminds me of DAd.

Sounds to me like a warning bell is going off. I would seriously think twice about continuing with this relationship. You are starting to see into his real personality.

well I never really had my hubby dump on me for one thing he knew better also he was one that held things in.
Ya ya do things special for your partner but also you have a life to live also.
Guess ya just let his mood change then ask him why he did that.
Also I would have done the same about the purse as I would feel like I should no worry about being blamed for it ya get it back to the person what if teh person was mugged or hurt soemwhere and ya might have to call police in.
Seems strange that a whole purse should be on the sidewalk!

I can relate with you. My parents have the same exact problem, my dad won't give my mom any space and tries to control what she spends her money on. However, he goes to the casino whenever he gets tickets, so HE's able to spend whatever he wants! And he'll try to co-ordinate trips just so my mom can go out of her way to drop him off at the casino. Then my mom has this bad habit of throwing things out that she thinks is unclean and tries to hide that from my father.

My father also has a fit when my mom buys healthy food for some reason. He claims that it tastes nasty, but my mom is concerned about what is healthiest, and my dad will literally throw a fit over it! And then my mom starts raising HER voice and then they start to lock horns. Speaking of which, I think that comic describes the relationship between my parents perfectly, coincidentally.

I could go on all day about the problems these 2 have with each-other. Despite that, there are times where they get along. Still, I just keep telling myself, "I don't wanna be like that." Whenever I find my soul mate, I want to be with her forever, but I also want her to be free, too. I want her to have someone who is understanding and compassionate. I want to be that for my lover.

Loving someone is a two-way road.

You can't constantly be the one who considers their actions first before speaking their mind harshly. Your partner needs to be willing to do so as well. Otherwise, it's a doomed relationship.

In my opinion, if you have to fight with your partner at all, then you shouldn't be together. Loving someone means having to make great sacrifices, but you can't be the only one to do so. The other person has to as well. And if they need to be told, or asked, when you yourself would do it without hesitation, then they're not worth the time or effort.

~K~

Hello dloveli, After going through
what you have written Ifeel that your husband has not
yet come out of his son image.Because you love him so much he also should reciprocate.Yousay that your daughter puts up a
praiseworthy behaviour. So she needs a bettter
treatment from father. If you do not mistake me, I feel
it is high time he forgets that he is a son
and starts fondling the daughter.The relation
needs a reconsideration in my idea.You need not be a victim to
the whims and fancies of one whom you love.
Sometimes you also have to put your feet down
Happy mylotting

Love is a combination of respect and trust, for this to be a good relationship it must have both of these on both sides. There are times went each of us can be childish and unrespectiful of the other and I think it is right to stand up for yourself and demand that respect. This does not need to affect your love but it does need to lead to a more thoughtful way of living together.