Look But Don't Touch Rule  

Hello,
after marriage it is not right to look at some1 with horny feelings. It good to praise some1 beauty. But it should be general not attraction. In india, we think marriage is a holy relationship and is for 7lifes. Husband and wife should be dedicate to each other. According to me, it is not good to look at some1 else after marriage, husband and wife means whole world to each other. I even angainst the thoughts for some1 else.

Hi SomeCowgirl, unless one is walking round with particularly dirty sunglasses on at the time it does become difficult not to notice an object of beauty but then quickly remind oneself it is off limits. There is nothing wrong with some discreet appreciation which must never be mentioned to the fiance or husband, just as they must never, never, even deign to appreciate an object of beauty. Much less should said man ever look, turn his head, or vocalise his appreciation. Best to ensure his sunglasses are never cleaned.

hiya SCG

I don't see the harm in it and the rule itself creates that boundary which shouldn't be crossed and IMO that's a good thing.
There was a point in my life where I was that green-eyed-monster and got so jealous of my partner looking at other women and that jealousy turned into mistrust!... not healthy lol. I discussed it with my partner and asked him what he was thinking when he looked at other women and he said "what do you think...obviously I'm thinking I'd like to give her one" .. I was crushed! It was like a knife stabbing into my heart. It's a pity the rule didn't work both ways There was big rows when I did it!
I eventually learned as I got older that there is no harm in looking and once you get past that life is so much easier.

Alice

Yes, you're being a hypocrite! Maybe it's not a good idea to tell your fiance you think a guy is cute, you wouldn't like it the other way round.
Men especially can't help looking, women look too of course but men tend to make it more obvious. We are more subtle about it!
I suppose we cannot help men looking but if they touch then they had better watch their backs!

I think it's a bit unrealistic to expect your partner or yourself not to look, you're only human after all.

As long as it's done in a way that doesn't hurt feelings however. For example comparing yourself or your partner comparing you to whoever they're looking at will only lead to trouble.

I don't think its possible for us to not look, honestly. Its like if we see a sign, human nature is to read it no matter what. Thats why billboards work and stuff like that. However, once you are in a relationship I think its okay to look, but not to touch. If you feel the need to touch that person then you cant be happy in the relationship you are in and need to take a closer look at your feelings. I think the phrase should be, "Look, but you better not even think of touching!"

I used to get very jealous when my husband looked and I'd get so angry.So,I
asked him why do you look at other girls.His reply was very simply-everyone with sight looks-it's their thoughts that make it ugly.I have no thoughts for anyone else,but God did put sight in my eyes.
So,if your man/woman is looking,it's usually a natural reaction,don't worry.(They know you don't like it.)

Hi SomeCowgirl, I was suddenly reminded of a quote painted behind a well painted vintage car that read "A vintage car is like another man's wife, u may look and admire but not touch". Well, I think it is natural to appreciate looks and what nots. U admire a flower, u love dogs, and u love kids, so how can something be off limits all of a sudden, after all v r animals, aren't v? Having said that, u will come around to understanding how ur partner feels if he does something similar, and may be impose limits urself. It doesnt come with others saying or not saying. It has to come with accepting intelligently. At that time what u feel is being hypocrite will vanish I suppose. :) Have a nice day. :)

It's okay to appreciate someone when your in a relationship. If you happen to look at a girl and find her cute or hot is not a bad thing. The rule should be "don't go looking" and "don't look with so much interest":)

.....Hi SomeCowgirl, "look but don't touch rule" does not dwell in reality in my opinion because first of all, you have eyes, you are going to look. Next of all
the touch part of it starts with your marriage, they don't call marriage "an institution" for nothing, it is an acknowledgment between two people that they will promise to commit to each other, honoring their vows. That's where it begins in my opinion, not when you see someone who is hot, handsome or gorgeous. Those people are going to be in our midst on a daily basis, unless you are on a remote island inhabited by only the two of you. So if the marriage is strong the two people are making a sincere effort to stay married and love each other, a passing glance at a beautiful person should not make a difference. The depth of any marriage is the barometer, which measures how a person responds when someone other than their wife or husband stirs their hormones, and it will happen, we cannot turn off our gastric juices, but we are definitely able to control our actions, and be true to the person we committed to before God. Take care.