I am Gay but my parents don't accept me as I am!!  |
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 Hi everyone!! I wanted some opinions and some tips on what to do with my family problem. I do not know what to do. I have always I guess you can say shown my family that I was straight but inside of me I like women... And finally when everything came out to the light it just was like a bomb. I had to leave the house lbecause my mother didn't want to accept it. She wanted to keep me away from the one person i loved and she cared for me and I trusted her. So I left the house for a new life but for reasons of life I had to come back home because of the economy. So now I am at my mamas home. I am working and my girl is working now but we have so much debt that we are trying to get out of so we can't move out right now.
But the problem is that I want my mother to accept me as I am and my partner. My partner never got to meet my mom in person but my mom has seen her just from far away and didnt' know that she was my girlfriend. So they didnt get to know each other.
Well please help me what should I do to help my mom understand what is going on and that I want her to be ok with meeting my girlfriend? I have been with my girl for 3 yrs and 2 months now. I hate to have to only go me by myself to a family party and not be able to go with my girl since my mom can't see her.
Please help!!!!
thanks everyone
happy mylotting
maria
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1.  votenoonpineapple (213) | 4 months ago |  I'm so sorry to hear that.
Your mother will come around eventually, it will just take some time for her to get used to the idea.
Try and remind her that as your mother, she just wants you to be happy, and that this is who you are, it's not a phase, and that it would mean a lot to you if she would meet the person that you're with. Maybe the three of you could go for coffee or something, or dinner.
Maybe see if she'll think about what you said before giving you an answer, too, if bringing it up makes her upset or nervous.
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 maria120883 (164) | 4 months ago | well thanks for the tips. But my mother tells me she will not accept it and that she can't understand how someone can be this way in their head!! I have tried talking to her about it and asking for her to meet her but she just won't bend her hands... She just won't. I don't know what to do. I talk alot about my partner infront of her so she will see that she is helping me with bills and she sees teh flowers that she brings me. I like for her to see the roses because that way she can see that I am not alone and that no other guy before would even give me that. It has been such a long time now and she just doesn't want to budge from that.
thanks anyways for the tips I will keep trying
maria | |
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| 2. kent_help2smile (2007) | 4 months ago |  Hello Maria! I have same problem as you do. But me and my mom has a good relationship. My doesn't know about me either But sometimes my action slipped especially when I am laughing out loud. She told me that I have a very weird laugh. I laughed a lot like a witch or a villain. And the way I move. Years gone by and I was starting to evolve as a Bisexual. My mom really confronted me and asked what's my the real score about my orientation. I didn't give her an straight answer. But I give her a big naught smile of confirmation. She just laughed that's all. After that no more question thrown to me. She accepted me as I am. For she knows I haven't done wrong to anybody nor stepped anyone along me growing stage. So she supported me all the way.
But she gave me an advised that "You act straight whenever we are outside the house. Not all people can understand you about your orientation" she said. Until now we are in good terms.
In short, let your mom knows about you, the real you slowly.
Oh regarding with my dad, he already have a clue but I keep denying who I am really was. And whom I am attracted the most.
FYI: I have a boyfriend we've been 1 year and 1 month.
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| maria120883 (164) | 4 months ago | I think they are ok with you right now because they do not know exactlly what you are into. They see that you are with a guy so they will not ask questions but if you were to have a girlfriend it would be different. It is wonderful that you have a great realtionship with your mother unlike me I don't yeah we do shop together and things like that but only I hardly talk to her. I do tell her my problems but when it comes to talk about my relationship uy shut your mouth no no no she doesn't want to hear it.
well thanks
maria | |
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | Yeah I think my mama is one of those that never come around!! Sad but true for me. I have tried to talk to her about it again and she just starts making faces like she wants to kill me or for her to die!! It's really bad with her to even mention the name of my partner. It drives her nuts. just to tell you she tried to kill me when she first found out and I even had to deny it because we were in the truck and she was going to crash the truck into someone else and she was driving really fast. So I had to deny everything!!!
Can you just imagine what I went througH!! It was a bad time for me. Finalyy it all cam out and she just couldn't believe it so it's been hectic time for me. well thanks for your advice!!
HAPPY MYLOTTING
MARIA S. | |
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 sid556 (10804) | 2 months ago |  This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.
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| maria120883 (164) | 1 month ago | i thank you so much for what you told me here!!! i almost cried just reading what you wrote!! sometimes it is so hard for someone to understand what i am going through but it seems that you have an understanding of it.
i really needed to hear those words. i do need to part from my mother for a while because she gets me depressed just by her making faces at me all the time when i say my partners name or anything dealing with her she just looks crazy like a pitbull or something!!!
she also gets mad at me when i do not go over to the house but it is for the same reason that she doesn't want to accept my partner with me. i have tried many times for to meet my partner but she just won't fold her hands not even a little.
i wish my mother could just be happy for me and accept me with my partner and all my flaws!! we are not perfect i can only be me!!!
thanks you for your words!! you have made my day today and i will be taking your advice and using!!!
thanks again
maria s. | |
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| sid556 (10804) | 1 month ago | Hi there,
I'm glad my words were helpful to you. I meant them. There is a documentary on this sort of thing that can be found on youtube. Its called For the bible tells me so. I think it might make your mom pause and think of what she is doing to you. It's in several segments on there. The ending is very very powerful. I hope things get better for you. Please keep us posted. | |
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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| lovinlifemindless (1247) | 1 month ago |  that is really sad and i am so sorry that you must go through it. i wish you the best in life<3
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| maria120883 (164) | 1 month ago | Thank you I wish you the same.
maria | |
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| 5. Debs_place (6749) | 3 months ago |  This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.
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| raisur (185) | 2 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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| raisur (185) | 2 months ago | Maria, thanks for your reply... probably, i got your point... wish you get across your problem and have a happy life...
happy myLotting... | |
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| maria120883 (164) | 1 month ago | RAISUR!!!!
THANKS FOR WISHING ME A GOOD LIFE AND I WISH YOU THE BEST LIFE OF YOUR LIFE lol!!! YOU GET MY POINT!!
HAVE A GOOD ONE TODAY.
BYEBYE
MARIA S. | |
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| 6. Hatley (21396) | 3 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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| 7. jodylee_04530 (546) | 3 months ago |  It is too bad that your mother can't except your choosen life. I think it is important for you to get out from under her roof so you can live the life you want. Unfortunately people make up there minds and can't move past there ideas of right and wrong. If you want to be with your girl, be with her. You can get out of debt together. I am not sure how much you have but my husband and I have a ton and are working together to get rid of it. Do the same with your partner and hopefully your mom will come around. If not, her lose.
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | OMG Yes JOdyLEE!!!!!!!!!! You can just imagine I have alot of debt. But good news we are getting out of debt and my girl and I are working it out.l My parents still don't like that fact that i am with her. But we are doing better. we had to go back to each others parents house because we were not making enough money but hopefully by january of this 2010 we will be moving in together again with a better thought of mind and better at managing our money together. So God is helping us out to help ourselves.
Thanks for the comment. we did move out for about a yr but economy went down and so did work so we got caught up with things. but we are getting better now just paying everything off.
happy mylotting
maria s. | |
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| jodylee_04530 (546) | 2 months ago | Best of luck to the both of you on your dreams! Getting out of debt is a huge process. Remember the feelings you have right now the next time you want a credit card or to have any other debt. Learn to live debt free separately and then do the same when you are living together. Life will be a whole lot happier. I hope your parents can find it in them to realize you are a wonderful person, no matter who you are with! | |
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| maria120883 (164) | 1 month ago | yes we have alot of dreams!!!! thanks for all the wishes!!!
we are doing good as i said and we are going to be better. i wish you the best as well and for all your dreams to come true.
thanks for your comments
happy mylotting
maria s. | |
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| 8. gelay07 (271) | 3 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | Yeah I think you are write but me and my girl already have been together for about 3 yrs and 4months but that my mother has known that we are together about 2 years and a half. so I know it's going to take more time than that depending the situation but I don't know what to do I want her to do it now and it ain't coming any time soon. Oh well i just got to have faith.
thanks for the comment
happy mylotting
maria s. | |
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9.  fifileigh (3015) | 3 months ago |  This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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| 10. LilyoftheThorns (3814) | 3 months ago |  I'm sorry your family has made you feel like an outcast just for being who you are. That must really suck and I don't want to even begin to imagine how that would feel.
Maybe your mom just needs some time to wrap her head around the idea. For some people it's harder to expect. But your mom is letting you live at home, so she obviously still loves you.
Maybe you should set up a date so your mom can finally meet your partner. Invite them both to a lunch or something (Make sure BOTH of them know what's going on) and try to let them get to know each other.
Good luck! Let us know how everything works out!
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| maria120883 (164) | 2 months ago | I have tried doing what you day but she just won't budge!!! Yes I do feel like an outcast but I can't do anything about it. It is the way that soceity had brought things out. my parents don't want to accept her and i just have to let it go. I can try to do it again what you are telling me but I know she just doesn't want to have a change of heart. I want her to meet her but I just don't know how.
thanks for the comments
happy mylotting
maria s. | |
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